


somewhere in this new life i've begun (i found someone)

by comebackbehere



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-30
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-02-08 16:33:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 49,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12868572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/comebackbehere/pseuds/comebackbehere
Summary: 'I found someone, it just happened out of the blue. And it took everything I had, it took me losing you. But you'll always have a place here in my heart.'





	1. things changed

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Y'all don't understand how happy I am about all this Agent Canary content, my shipper heart is soaring.

Maggie Sawyer has seen a lot of things in her life. A lot of weird things, sad things, disgusting things, and downright terrifying things. But this moment? This moment happening right now in the National City park takes the cake for all of it. With wide eyes, Maggie watches as a child with messy blonde hair flicks her tiny wrist to extend a staff. The child, no older than five, proceeds to excitedly swing it around until the kids in the sandbox scatter with screams of horror and rush to their parents.

 

The cop part in her rears its ugly head as she yanks her headphones free from her ears and takes off towards the playground. The child is still twirling the staff, and Maggie reaches out with ease to catch the end of it. With a pout, the little girl looks up at her and attempts to pull the staff away only for Maggie to give a harder tug and soon the weapon is clasped tightly in her grasp.

 

“Mine!”

 

Maggie shakes her head, “Where’s your mom, kid?”

 

“That’s mine!”

 

“I’m not giving this back.” Maggie scoffs as she holds the staff away from the child. “Kid, just point to where your mommy and daddy are. I need to give them a little…”

 

“Hey!”

 

Maggie turns as a blonde approaches, “Does this kid belong to you?”

 

“Yeah, she does. Why is she upset?” The woman demands as she closes the distance between them with a scowl. “And why in the hell are you trying to take her toy?”

 

“Toy?” Maggie repeats with wide eyes. “This isn’t a _toy_. This is a weapon, and she was scaring the other kids with it. Why the hell would you give a staff to a toddler?”

 

“What I give my kid isn’t any of your business.” The woman hisses, and she is quick to snatch the staff and fold it up. “Come on, Silver.”

 

“Mama, she’s mean.” Silver sniffles.

 

“Yeah,” The blonde nods as she pulls the child into her gentle embrace. “Some people are just mean, kiddo.”

 

As the duo walk away, Maggie can’t help but watch on in fascination.

 

-

 

A few weeks back in National City, and Maggie remembers why she loves this place so much. She settles her roots and reestablishes herself at the precinct with a new partner. Overall, by her fourth week home, she feels like this will work. After her breakup with Alex, she needed time. She needed space. So she left, she packed up and hauled herself off to Gotham City. She tried to make it work there, but it just never clicked. It took her seven years, ten months, and four days for her to finally say fuck it and go home.

 

A smile turns up at the corner of her mouth as she walks through the little town square; it’s so familiar and she has missed it so much. As she skips down the steps, she barely manages to avoid colliding with a tiny figure that zips past her and she is quick to realize who those blonde pigtails belong to. The kid from the park, the one with the weapon. The kid has been a constant thorn in her side since that moment in the park.

 

“Silver Lance, when I catch you…” The blonde woman appears and Maggie rolls her eyes. “Oh. Well, if it isn’t the grumpy street cop.”

 

“I see you still haven’t managed to reign in that child of yours.” Maggie drawls. “As much as I love this city, she shouldn’t be running around alone.”

 

“She’s not.” The woman sneers. “She’s with her mom.”

 

Maggie frowns, “Oh.”

 

“And while my wife is as athletic as I am, even she gets exhausted chasing Silver around,” The blonde laughs, and she gives a quick salute. “So, I’m gonna go hunt my kid down.”

 

“You do that.” Maggie scoffs.

 

Maggie watches her go and a quick thought passes through her head, but she pushes it down. There’s no way.

 

-

 

Maggie finally finds out the exact parentage of Silver’s parents. It’s a dreary Wednesday and she is coated in sweat after a quick morning workout, and as she hops off the treadmill she sees Silver come running into the gym. Maggie chuckles at the sight of the little girl in yoga pants and a tank top, and it doesn’t surprise her when the blonde woman appears a few moments later sporting the same outfit but wearing a look that said exactly how she felt about being here.

 

The amusement lasts for all of two minutes before the world stops rotating. The air leaves her lungs. Her legs grow weak. And her heart thuds in a familiar tune. Alex Danvers sweeps into the gym with her hair pulled back in a ponytail and three yoga mats hanging on her arm. She looks beautiful, just as beautiful as she did on the day that Maggie walked out of that apartment.

 

Maggie doesn’t know why she doesn’t look away from what is happening a few feet away, she doesn’t know why she doesn’t run from it. Because in front of her, Maggie watches Alex kiss someone else with an aching softness before she squats down in order to gather Silver up into her embrace. With a heartbroken expression, Maggie sees the image of a puzzle she was once a part of, a puzzle that was missing pieces that have apparently been filled.

 

Alex doesn’t notice her, and Maggie doesn’t try to catch her attention. As soon as Alex drags the reluctant blonde into a mommy and me yoga class, Maggie leaves.

 

-

 

Maggie stalks Winn’s social media, he’s the only one who didn’t eventually delete her as years passed. She scrolls through his Instagram and watches the slow process of Alex falling in love with someone named Sara Lance. She watches their friendship, how it begins with badass stances at a wedding and playful shots of them drunk in a bar or using chopsticks as if they’re teeth.

 

Then comes the relationship, and it’s everything Maggie doesn’t want to see. There’s a picture of them dressed fancy with Sara’s arm slung over the back of Alex’s chair as she laughs. There’s a snapshot of them kissing against a wall that is collaged with the two women flipping Winn off. And then there’s the photo of Sara on one knee and all of the people she used to call family and strange faces watch on with smiles.

 

She skims through the wedding, elegant and soft. Her attention lingers briefly on a picture that Winn stole from James and it’s breathtaking, it’s so stunning she can’t stop staring. It’s a black and white photo of Alex and Sara at their wedding, and Sara is tucked below Alex’s veil as they rest their foreheads together with soft smiles. They look happy, they look in love.

 

Finally, she finds what she is looking for. Maggie finds a photo of Alex and Sara standing in front of their little DEO family and Kara is excitedly holding up a sonogram photo. A small smile crosses her face at the few photos of Alex standing around with her bump, she even adores the pictures that simply show her in the background. After photos of James, flashes of Kara, and selfies with Lena she stumbles across the photo introducing Silver Laurel Lance.

 

Maggie finally clicks out of the Instagram page when she sees a photo of the baby’s feet with two wedding bands on her tiny toes. It feels like the final punch to her gut, and the last flick that manages to shatter her heart.

 

-

 

Kara is the first one to find out she’s back.

 

The heat of the sun burns down on her as she stands over a slew of dead bodies with a thoughtful expression. She has been chasing this serial killer since she arrived back in town and she hasn’t had any luck on catching him. As she takes in the markings on the latest victims, a soft thud catches her attention and the hairs on the back of her neck stand up as she hears Supergirl’s voice.

 

“What do we have?”

 

Maggie sucks in a calming breath, “Nothing worth talking about.”

 

Maggie can feel the change in the atmosphere as she turns to face the woman that was a breath away from becoming her sister-in-law. For a moment, a look of confusion flashes across her face before Kara brightens and Maggie barely has time to gather her thoughts before she is scooped into a hug so tight she swears her ribs crack. Somehow she has managed to forget how tight and painful Kara's hugs are.

 

“Little Danvers,” Maggie grunts. “Good to see you.”

 

“You too! Where have you been?” Kara demands as she sets Maggie back on her feet. “You just up and left, didn’t even say goodbye.”

 

“I thought it was for the best.” Maggie explains, and the answer seems to darken Kara’s mood as she gives a small nod. “How have you been?”

 

“Good. Really good.” Kara beams, and Maggie can see the truth in those blue eyes. “I’m getting married, we have no date set yet though.”

 

“To that Daxamite douche?” Maggie scowls.

 

Kara giggles and shakes her head, “No. To Lena.”

 

“You finally figured it out?” Maggie smirks, and Kara simply rolls her eyes with a blush. “I’m happy for you, kid. You deserve the best.”

 

“Thanks, Maggie.” Kara whispers. “How are you?”

 

“Good.” Maggie nods. “I uh I met your niece.”

 

Kara pauses with wide eyes, “Silver? How? When? Where? Did Alex introduce you to her? She hasn’t said anything about…”

 

“I caught her swinging a staff in the park.” Maggie cuts in, and she arches an eyebrow at the way Kara barks out a laugh and shakes her head. “Something funny about that, Little Danvers?”

 

“It just sounds so much like her, I can only imagine what she looked liked.” Kara giggles with a wave of her hand. “She loves that staff, her mom got it for her.”

 

“She’s a kid.” Maggie scoffs.

 

“So? Sara and Alex have been training her since the moment she chunked a throwing star at Winn’s head. The weapons are plastic anyway.” Kara shrugs. “It’s cute. She wants to be like her moms.”

 

“I don’t remember your sister ever fighting with a staff…”

 

“That’s kinda Sara’s thing.” Kara smiles.

 

“A little bit dangerous.”

 

“They make sure she’s safe, and she only uses them at the DEO. She probably snuck her staff out when we weren’t looking.” Kara explains. “You should see her, she’s just like Alex.”

 

“Yeah?” Maggie chuckles. “Lucky you.”

 

Kara pauses for a long minute, “She’s happy.”

 

“I hope so.” Maggie nods.

 

“I’m talking about Alex.” Kara mutters.

 

Maggie looks up with a bittersweet smile, “Me too.”

 

**Sara**

 

Sara Lance is sure of about three things in her life. Number one, she will always be ready to fight whatever threat is brought into her life. Number two, she loves Alex Danvers-Lance with every inch of herself. And number three, she will do anything and everything to protect the little girl who looks at her with bright green eyes and calls her mama.

 

With a smile, Sara leans against the doorway of the training facility and watches as Silver gracefully battles with Winn. Her daughter moves with as much speed as her tiny legs can carry her, and the expression on her face is pure Danvers stubbornness. All in all, Sara can’t help but preen with pride as she keeps a close eye on the child who manages to disarm Winn.

 

“Die! Die! Die!”

 

Sara laughs and catches the attention of both Winn and Silver, “That’s not a nice word, bullet. Don’t say things like that to your Uncle Winn.”

 

“I won.” Silver declares with a bright smile.

 

“I saw that.” Sara hums as she saunters into the room with a lazy smile. “You did a good job, kiddo. You really put up a good fight.”

 

Winn huffs, “I know you’re talking to me.”

 

“I am.” Sara smirks, and Silver squeals in delight as she is swung into a strong embrace. “My daughter doesn’t need me to praise her, she already knows she’s a total badass.”

 

“That’s a nickel word.” Silver sings.

 

Sara rolls her eyes in response, “I said  _badass._ ”

 

“Uh,” Silver furrows her brow as her tongue pokes out of the corner of her mouth. “That’s _two_ nickels! You owe me a dime, Mama.”

 

“You’re getting too smart for me.” Sara sighs.

 

“Are we going home?” Silver asks as she plays with a loose strand of Sara’s blonde locks. “I wanna play with Uncle Winn.”

 

“Well, your mom is waiting but I think she’ll understand that you kicking Uncle Winn’s butt is more important.” Sara assures her. “Remember to go for the knees, bullet.”

 

“Okay!”

 

As soon as Sara sets Silver on her feet, her daughter swings into a barrel roll and grabs her abandoned plastic sword. With every moment that passes, Sara finds herself more enamored by her daughter; Silver is already so smart, and stronger than she ever was at this age. Eliza says she has Alex’s stubborn streak and reckless persona, but that fire in her eyes? Sara likes to think she’s the reason that spark stays lit.

 

-

 

“You are so beautiful.”

 

The words come so easy, like breathing. Everything with Alex is easy. Sara wonders if that’s why she was drawn to the woman before her; from the moment she laid eyes on Alex, she had known she was a goner. All that bullshit about love at first sight and believing in soulmates suddenly made sense once she had Alex at her side. Suddenly, _everything_ in the world made sense.

 

“Is that what you’ve been thinking about for the last fifteen minutes?” Alex teases. “You’ve been lost in your head since we tucked Silver in.”

 

Sara hums as she rolls into Alex’s lap, “I’ve been thinking about you a lot. About us. I uh I’ve been meaning to tell you something…”

 

“Did you and Winn blow something up again?”

 

“No.”

 

Alex frowns as she plays with Sara’s hair, “Did you and Kara accidentally open the vortex and push Winn into another world again?”

 

“No.” Sara chuckles. “And that only happened one time!”

 

“One time too many.” Alex murmurs, her fingers continue to work through Sara’s hair as she frowns in thought. “Did you and Lena forget to book a fitting for your gown?”

 

Sara pouts, “Unfortunately not.”

 

“Please tell me it doesn’t involve our child…”

 

“Not directly.” Sara assures her, but she can feel the way Alex goes rigid. “A few weeks ago, Silver and I ran into someone. They tried to take her staff, which didn’t go over well.”

 

“Surprise, surprise.” Alex scoffs. “Who was it?”

 

“It was your ex.”

 

The sentence hangs in the air and Sara knows from the silence that Alex is reliving a thousand memories. She simply settles in her wife’s lap and plays with the diamond on her finger; she waits, she’ll always wait for Alex. It takes a few minutes, but eventually the hand in her hair starts to rake back through and Alex shudders out a strong breath.

 

“I thought I saw her at the gym.” Alex admits.

 

Sara nods, “She was there.”

 

“And the coffee shop last week?”

 

“Yup.” Sara chirps.

 

“So, she knows about Silver? She knows about our marriage?” Alex demands, and Sara simply nods in return. “Well, at least that saves me from having an awkward conversation.”

 

“Why would it be awkward?” Sara frowns. “You moved on, it shouldn’t be awkward. I’m sure she’s moved on too.”

 

“I’m sure she has.” Alex mutters.

 

Sara rolls away from her wife and onto her waiting pillow, “I just wanted you to know, didn’t want you to be blindsided.”

 

“I appreciate it, babe.” Alex whispers as she slips down the mattress and curls herself behind Sara. “I don’t like whatever is going on in your head, I know it isn’t good.”

 

“You love me, right?” Sara asks hesitantly.

 

“More than anyone other than our daughter.” Alex assures her. “Sara, you are the love of my life. I would never dream of leaving you, you’re the only one I want.”

 

“Stealing lines from your vows?” Sara grins.

 

“Just telling the truth.” Alex replies. “You and me? We’re solid. Look at our life, it’s beautiful. What more could I want? I have a beautiful daughter, a house, a dog, and a drop dead gorgeous wife. I am living the dream, Mrs. Lance.”

 

Sara rolls over in her arms, “Yes you are, Mrs. Lance. And I gotta say, even though this stupid and cheesy, I’m glad you’re living it with me.”

 

“I love you.” Alex grins.

 

Sara crawls up to straddle her wife, “I love you, too.”

 

-

 

“Tell me about Maggie.”

 

A tablet clatters awkwardly against the table, “Huh?”

 

“Maggie Sawyer.” Sara drawls, and she keeps her stance relaxed as she sways in her chair. “Tell me about Alex’s ex.”

 

“I-Isn’t that a question you should be asking your wife?” Winn squeaks as his eyes go wide. “I-I don’t think I’m at liberty to just talk about Alex’s past love life. She can kill me with her _pinky_.”

 

Sara shrugs, “So can I. So spill.”

 

“What do you want to know?” Winn sighs.

 

“Just how in love were they?” Sara asks softly.

 

“Not as in love as you guys are.” Winn assures her, but Sara simply flashes him a glare. “I’m serious! I mean, they loved each other a lot and Alex had a really hard time after the breakup, but then you came and she was okay again.”

 

“So,” Sara begins. “I was rebound?”

 

“What? No. That is so not what I said!” Winn argues.

 

Sara smirks at the blushing man, “Sure, Winn.”

 

“Look,” Winn sucks in a quick breath as he catches her gaze. “Alex and Maggie had something great, but you and Alex have something amazing. From the moment you two met, it was like watching a romcom happening before my eyes.”

 

“Really, Winn?” Sara sneers.

 

“Totally! You guys had that will they, won’t they thing going and your banter was so cute.” Winn gushes, and Sara can’t help but grin. “I knew Alex loved you the day she came storming in here pissed off that you were joining the DEO.”

 

Sara chuckles and ducks her head, “She was _really_ mad.”

 

“You flipped her world rightside up, Sara.” Winn chirps. “Alex was going through the motions after her split with Maggie, and you finally gave her a chance to find the excitement again. She loves you, Sara. As her honorary little brother, I know that for a fact.”

 

“Thanks, Winn.” Sara mumbles.

 

Winn nods and looks back to his tablet, "Why are you so worried about Maggie anyway?”

 

“She’s back.”

 

The tablet drops to the table again, “Oh no.”

 

“Oh no?” Sara repeats. “Why oh no? Like oh no Alex is going to fall for her again?”

 

“No, oh no like Maggie is going to die if she even gets within five feet of Alex.” Winn scoffs. “I know you and I love you, but you’re crazy.”

 

Sara hums with a nod, “Not diagnosed, but yes.”

 

“You’re not gonna have a duel over her, right?”

 

“Depends.” Sara shrugs as she heaves herself from her chair and turns to walk away. “I’ll fight for my woman, but I’ll fight dirty.”

 

Sara laughs as soon as she hears Winn’s groan.

 

-

 

“Hey. Sorry I’m late.”

 

Alex looks up at her with a grin, “It’s fine.”

 

“Has she been on the beam yet?” Sara asks as she lowers herself onto the bleachers. “She said she was going to try for a flip today.”

 

“I thought Coach Daniels said no flips…”

 

“Have you met our daughter?” Sara snorts, and Alex gives a soft laugh. “Silver will do what Silver wants to do, no matter what. I sometimes wonder where she got _that_ from.”

 

“Hey, don’t look at me,” Alex scoffs as she holds her hands up. “That is one hundred percent you. She may have come straight from me, but I definitely birthed a little Lance.”

 

Sara gives a goofy smile, “Yeah.”

 

“Oh, she’s up.” Alex beams.

 

Sara watches with baited breaths as her daughter mounts the beam and slowly lifts her arms up. From the moment her green eyes flash, Sara sees every bit of rebellion and determination shine through as she easily tucks herself into a roll before doing exactly what her coach told her not to do. The second she dismounts, Sara blows out a strong breath and glances over to see Alex clenching her hands into fists.

 

“Babe?” Sara chuckles as she covers one of her hands with her own.

 

“I want to clap.” Alex explains. “Did you see that? Sara, she’s five and she’s so talented. Our daughter is a...she’s _perfect_.”

 

Sara lifts Alex’s hand to her lips, “She is.”

 

“Mommy! Mama! Did you see?”

 

“We did, Silver.” Alex grins, and Sara releases her hand only so her wife can pull Silver up. “You did so good, and that last flip was awesome. When did my baby become such an Olympian?”

 

“Mama says it’s cause I’ve been eatin’ my Wheaties. She says they make me strong.” Silver chirps, and her hands go to cup Alex’s face. “Mommy, can we go see Uncle Winn?”

 

“You have school tomorrow.” Alex reminds her.

 

“And it’s movie night.” Sara says, and she gives a playful growl as she pulls Silver onto her lap. “You didn’t say hi to me, bullet.”

 

“Hi, Mama,” Silver beams. “You were late.”

 

“You never miss a thing.” Sara sighs. “Hey, get back out there and finish up so we can take you home for ice cream and a movie marathon.”

 

“Harry Potter?” Silver asks as she arches an eyebrow.

 

Sara blinks as she looks to Alex, “Harry Potter?”

 

“We’ve been reading them on the nights that you have to work.” Alex replies. “I’ve been promising her that we could start watching the movies. I know you’re a Star Wars fan, but I’m a Potterhead through and through.”

 

Silver giggles, “Same.”

 

“Great. Both my girls are nerds.” Sara teases, Silver rolls her eyes dramatically and smacks a quick kiss to her cheek. “Get out of here.”

 

“I’m off like a speeding bullet.”

 

“That kid.” Sara smiles as she watches Silver take off across the gym floor. “Seventy five percent trouble and twenty five percent marshmallow fluff. How did we end up with that combo?”

 

Alex shrugs and leans over to rest her lips against the crown of Sara’s head, “Luck?”

 

“Pure luck.”

 

-

 

Her precious pure luck runs out a day later.

 

“Detective Sawyer.”

 

Brown eyes meet hers, “Agent Lance.”

 

“You read up on me?” Sara demands, and Maggie simply looks away and to the body at their feet. “So, what are we looking at here?”

 

“Seventh victim in the last four months. This guy is escalating. And fast.” Maggie scoffs. “We aren’t anywhere near catching him, but we noticed a familiar marking on his chest.”

 

Sara squats down and lifts the sheet, “Lex Luthor?”

 

“Yeah. We’re having the coroner go over the last body we brought in, see if he can find some kind of attachment to Luthor.” Maggie explains. “I suggested we call the DEO in, I was hoping they’d send Alex.”

 

“Oh?” Sara sneers, and she fights to control the immediate reaction her body has to Maggie’s nonchalant tone. “Well, she’s a little tied up with our kid so she’s out for the day.”

 

Maggie stares at her for a long moment, “I wasn’t hoping they’d send Alex so I can see her, Agent Lance. Alex has a personal connection with Supergirl who is cousin’s to Lex Luthor’s greatest enemy. She’s just an in.”

 

“Keep on telling yourself that.” Sara mumbles.

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“I’m not stupid.” Sara hisses as she stands and turns to face Maggie. “You want to see her so cut the bullshit act.”

 

Maggie licks her lips and looks away, “Can you blame me?”

 

“No.” Sara frowns. “But I want to make one thing clear to you...she’s married. To me. She has a child, and a good life. It took her a long time to get over you, Maggie.”

 

“It wasn’t a walk in the park for me either.” Maggie points out. “Walking away from Alex, not fighting for her, was the single hardest thing I have ever had to do. But if she’s happy then I’m happy for her.”

 

Sara eyes her for a long moment, “Just have the reports of the victims sent over to the DEO, we’ll have one of our guys look it over.”

 

“Okay.”

 

The women part with one last glance, and Sara can’t help but turn to watch Alex’s past disappear.

 

-

 

“Mama, how come you married mommy?”

 

“What?” Sara laughs.

 

“How come you married mommy?” Silver repeats, the child pokes her tongue out as she fixes her bedspread. “How come Auntie Lena and Auntie Kara are getting married?”

 

“Because they love each other,” Sara explains. “And I love your mom so one day I asked if she wanted to get hitched, and she said yes. After a nice quiet year, we decided to have you.”

 

“Mommy says marrying you was the bestest decision she ever made.” Silver chirps. “She says that you make her happy, and that you make her wanna be a better person.”

 

Sara smiles softly, “She’s right. That’s all part of being in love, bullet. When you love someone, when you _really_ love them, they make you realize how good of a person you can be. They don’t change you, they just make you stronger.”

 

Silver blinks tiredly, “Do you think I’ll ever love someone like that?”

 

“I know you will.” Sara assures her as she sits on the edge of her bed and fixes her blankets. “You’re going to find the most handsome prince…”

 

“Or princess.” Silver jumps in.

 

“Or princess.” Sara nods. “And you’re going to love them so much it hurts, so much that being with them makes you glow.”

 

“Like Uncle Barry and Auntie Iris?”

 

“Yup. And your Uncle Oliver and Aunt Felicity.” Sara replies, Silver smiles halfway and rubs at her half-lidded eyes. “I think it’s time for someone to head off to dreamland. Goodnight, bullet. I love you.”

 

“To the moon and back?” Silver whispers.

 

Sara leans down and presses a quick kiss to her forehead, “I love you to every universe and back. Sleep well, kiddo.”

 

Silver is passed out by the time Sara turns off her lamps and flips on her nightlight. As she slips from the room, Sara turns to stare at her daughter; no matter how many nights she has like this, Sara will never get over the fact that she’s a mother. A soft breath leaves her as she feels arms twine around her waist, and she breathes in the lingering scent of Alex’s body wash. Sara settles back in her wife’s embrace as they watch Silver sleep, and after a few minutes Alex finally steps back.

 

“She go down okay?” Alex asks.

 

Sara nods as she cracks the door, “Easy as always.”

 

“Book?”

 

“Two chapters of Harry Potter.” Sara sighs.

 

Alex smiles happily, “Teeth?”

 

“Brushed. Hair is combed. Pajamas are long pants and a t-shirt since it’s a little cold.” Sara lists with a tone of amusement. “Don’t worry so much, Danvers. I got this.”

 

“Oh, I know.” Alex chuckles.

 

“We should have another one.” Sara mutters as she goes about picking up plastic throwing stars. “Silver would be a great big sister. I’ve kinda always wanted a son...well, not always but I’ve thought about it. I miss when Silver was a baby.”

 

Alex snorts, “You were still time traveling during the first year of her life.”

 

“Yeah, but I’d be around more for this one.” Sara shrugs. “You said you wanted at least one more. So, what do you say?”

 

“I say that we’ll talk about this when you aren’t talking out of jealousy.” Alex replies, and a smirk tugs at her lips as Sara freezes. “I’m not stupid, Sara. I know you.”

 

“I…”

 

“I thought I made myself clear the other night,” Alex sighs. “You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, Sara. I love you, and nobody can change that. Even Maggie.”

 

Sara swallows hard, “I know how you were when we first met. I know how hung up on Maggie you were. I know how in love you were.”

 

“You had your own Maggie, but I don’t worry about you going back to her.” Alex points out.

 

“Nyssa doesn’t live in the same city as us.” Sara grumbles. “I’m not afraid to lose you, Alex. I just have a strong urge to rip Maggie’s throat out every time I see her…”

 

Alex moves towards her wife and grabs her hands, “Do you remember what I told you after you told me you were staying? That you wanted a life outside of the Legends?”

 

“You told me I was stupid.” Sara sneers. “Your literal words were that is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. We’re just fuck buddies.”

 

“I did _not_ say that!”

 

“More or less.” Sara shrugs.

 

“You are so annoying.”

 

Sara smirks playfully, “Annoying or endearing?”

 

“Both.” Alex replies with a laugh, and her expression softens as she squeezes Sara’s hands. “Seriously, do you remember what I said? After this supposed conversation of me calling you stupid.”

 

“Of course I do.” Sara whispers. “You quoted that song we danced to on the Waverider.”

 

“I did.” Alex murmurs as she rests their foreheads together. “Sara, I came alive the first time I kissed you. You make me better than I was before. Thank God I’m yours.”

 

“So, you’re mine?” Sara asks uneasily.

 

“Until death do we part.”

 

Sara lifts her head to press a kiss to Alex’s lips, “I love you, you nerd.”

 

“I love you, too.”

 

**Alex**

 

“So, your sister and I had an interesting conversation…”

 

“Lena, if you start talking about sex toys again then I will break your nose.” Alex grumbles as she glares at her best friend.

 

“ _That_ was a rousing conversation.” Lena hums as a thoughtful expression colors her face. “But that isn’t what I was planning to discuss with you. Our conversation involved a certain NCPD detective that has returned.”

 

Alex groans, “She told you?”

 

“She’s my fiancée, and you’re my best friend. Of course she told me. _You_ should have told me.” Lena huffs as she narrows her eyes. “What are you going to do, Alex?”

 

“Um,” Alex frowns in confusion. “Nothing.”

 

“But you want to speak with her?” Lena asks, and Alex simply replies with a shrug. “Come on, Alex. It’s me. Fess up.”

 

“I mean, I’d like to catch up.” Alex admits with a small shrug. “I was engaged to her, and it’s been years. I’d like to know she’s as happy as I am, that she found someone after our breakup.”

 

Lena nods slowly, “I’m sure she’d love to hear all about your new world.”

 

“A new world where my best friend is Lena Luthor? Things really have changed.” Alex teases, and Lena simply gives a smug smirk in reply. “I don’t know. I’ve never seen Sara like this, she seems...uneasy. She talked about having another child.”

 

“Oh?” Lena smirks.

 

“Yeah. And I want to, but not like this.” Alex shrugs, her brow furrows as she stabs at her food. “I think I need to talk to Maggie. Things between us were never really resolved, y’know?”

 

“I do know. You were too busy hooking up with a badass, sexy as hell assassin on another Earth while Maggie left for Gotham.” Lena teases, but she sobers at Alex’s flinch. “Hey, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

 

“Sometimes I feel like I did.” Alex admits. “I don’t regret pursuing Sara, I would _never_ , but Maggie just left and now she’s back and I’m married with a child. It’s like I moved on with a snap of my fingers.”

 

“She also doesn’t know about your sleepless nights. Or how you were physically sick for weeks.” Lena reminds her. “She doesn’t know that you broke it off with Sara twice out of guilt.”

 

Alex ducks her head, “Yet she kept coming back.”

 

“That’s because she loves you, and the two of you have a wonderful life.” Lena whispers. “You should talk to Maggie. Maybe she needs to see how happy you are, that you’re safe.”

 

“I am pretty happy…”

 

Lena watches her and slowly narrows her eyes, “I don’t like that wistful expression you’ve got going, that’s too much happiness in my office.”

 

“Too much happin…” Alex trails off with a roll of her eyes. “That’s cute coming from the woman who basically _giggles_ the entire time Silver is here.”

 

“I’m a sucker for my niece.” Lena shrugs.

 

Alex stabs her fork into a piece of chicken, “Yeah, you and Kara really are. If I have to cram one more toy into her toy box then I’m afraid the thing is going to explode.”

 

“We offered you rooms in the house…”

 

“Oh yes, because I’m so sure Sara will want to give up our house.” Alex sneers. “Plus, the less I see of you and my sister making bedroom eyes at each other is better for my health.”

 

Lena smirks, “Wanna know what else we do in our bedroom?”

 

“That depends,” Alex sighs. “Do you want to die?”

 

“Fair enough.” Lena mumbles as her expression dies away into a frown. “While on the subject of your sister, would you like to see the lingerie I bought for our honeymoon?”

 

Alex huffs, “Shut up and eat your food.”

 

-

 

“Mommy, did you see me do the corpse pose?”

 

Alex laughs as Silver skips alongside her, “I did.”

 

“I wish mama coulda saw.” Silver pouts, and Alex melts at the little girl’s expression. “Can we go get frozen yogurt?”

 

“Ooh, that sounds good.” Alex hums, her attention falls to her phone as Silver hums beside her. “I’m gonna text your Auntie Kara and see if she wants to come with us. Maybe we can…”

 

“Mean officer lady!”

 

Alex stops breathing for a second as her child darts from her sight. Even though she knows Silver is safe, her being out of her sight still makes Alex uncomfortable. With ease, Alex edges her way around the people lifting weights until she skids to a stop a few feet away from Silver. It takes her a moment to realize that her daughter is excitedly chattering to a wide eyed Maggie who simply nods along to everything the five-year-old is excitedly telling her.

 

“Silver Laurel Lance.”

 

“Whoops.” Silver squeaks.

 

“Bullet, what have mama and I said about you running off like that?” Alex demands as she focuses her attention on a flushed Silver. “You could have tripped over something and gotten hurt.”

 

“But I didn’t!” Silver beams.

 

“Danvers, good to see you.”

 

Alex looks up into hesitant brown orbs, “Maggie.”

 

“Mommy, you know the mean cop lady?” Silver gasps as she looks between them. “Mama says she’s mean cause she took my staff away.”

 

“Silver,” Alex begins as she presses a gentle hand to the top of her daughter’s head. “The mean cop lady is my...friend. Her name is Maggie.”

 

“Hi, Maggie. I’m Silver Laurel Lance. I’m five.” Silver chirps as she extends her hand. “And I promise I don’t have my staff today, mommy wouldn’t let me pack it in my gym bag.”

 

Maggie accepts her hand carefully, “That’s probably for the best.”

 

“Mommy and I are gonna go get frozen yogurt. I think I’m gonna get chocolate and put lots of gummy worms in it.” Silver rambles. “Mommy, can Maggie come too?”

 

“Uh, no.”

 

“I can’t.”

 

Their voices blend together and Alex looks up at Maggie and is surprised when she feels nothing. There used to be a time when Maggie’s name was the beat of her heart, when her laughter was the flow of her bloodstream, that her eyes held every option of a future. But all Alex sees now is someone she has missed, someone who used to be her best friend; someone who made her into the strong woman she is today.

 

“I know you can’t do frozen yogurt,” Alex begins, and her voice sounds a million miles away in her head. “I was hoping maybe we could get coffee though. Catch up and everything.”

 

Maggie looks away, “Uh, maybe.”

 

“Maybe is fine.” Alex nods. “Swap numbers?”

 

“How about you give me yours and I’ll text you when I’m ready?”

 

The words are more of an order than a question, but Alex simply offers her phone. She misses Maggie, she misses the friendship they once shared. Her life is different now and her heart belongs to Sara, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t miss the memories of when she and Maggie used to spend hours playing pool and drinking beer.

 

“I’ll text you, Danvers.”

 

Alex smiles softly, “It’s actually Lance now.”

 

“Right.” Maggie nods. “See you around.”

 

“Mommy, can we go?” Silver whines as she tugs at Alex’s hand. “Auntie Kara is gonna eat up all the good toppings.”

 

“Sure, baby,” Alex chuckles, and she carefully pulls Silver onto her hip as she looks to Maggie. “I hope I hear from you soon.”

 

Maggie gives a curt nod, “Yeah. Soon.”

  
With that, the women part ways without so much as a glance back.


	2. tell me there are things you regret (i ain't over you yet)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Definitely open for prompts! Enjoy :)

**Maggie**

 

Maggie knows she shouldn’t care.

 

But seeing Alex in the gym has thrown her off, looking into those calm eyes has set her entire world on fire, they were the same eyes she had planned to look into forever. Maggie saw some kind of understanding in the strong gaze, but Maggie thinks Alex doesn’t understand at all. Alex can’t know unless Maggie tells her; there’s no way for her to know she will always be Maggie’s one and only, not just a fleet of a relationship that shattered all too soon and left her broken. You see, Maggie had made the decision to move. Maggie chose not to stay and fight. Maggie chose to run away. And Maggie is paying the price. She can only imagine how painful it would’ve been to watch Alex to fall in love all over again. To fall for this time traveling assassin that she knows nothing about.

 

Alex is her sun, the brightest spot that has ever existed in her world. She is Maggie’s sun, something that has really always been too far away to touch and too painful to look at. And now? Now, Alex has found her own sun. Alex has created the life that Maggie couldn’t give her. Maggie thinks that’s what hurts the most; she sees how happy Alex is and it kills her that she could have been a part of it, she could’ve been the cause of it.

 

But she isn’t.

 

So, Maggie shoves Alex’s number in her back pocket and tries to forget about her.

 

-

 

Maggie is blurry eyed as she waits patiently for her coffee in the long line. She’s late for work, but she’s too tired to care. She’d stand in this Starbucks all day long if it meant being able to avoid the disgusting slush they try to pass off as coffee at the precinct. As soon as her name is called, Maggie takes her coffee and stumbles her way towards the sugars and creamers. As she dumps an ungodly amount of sugar in her cup, her gaze darts up to see Lena Luthor making her way over. Immediately, Maggie fixes the surprise on her face and presses on a smile as Lena stops beside her.

 

“Detective Sawyer,” Lena greets. “I heard you were back.”

 

Maggie nods, “Yup.”

 

“I’m sure Gotham PD is missing you already.” Lena hums, and Maggie arches an eyebrow at her soft words. “Although, Kara seems delighted with the fact that you’re back.”

 

“Yeah,” Maggie chuckles. “Seems like she’s the only one.”

 

Lena flashes a forced smile, “So it does.”

 

“Did I do something to you?” Maggie scoffs.

 

Lena purses her lips as she adds sugar to her coffee cup, “No, of course not. I mean, not personally. But you did hurt my best friend.”

 

“Kara?”

 

“No.” Lena frowns. “Alex.”

 

“Alex? You and Alex are best friends?” Maggie laughs, but her expression sobers as Lena gives her a dumbfounded scowl. “Wow. I uh I guess I really did miss quite a bit.”

 

“And as her best friend,” Lena begins as she taps her spoon on the edge of her cup. “I’m going to advise you to think wisely about the decisions you make concerning her. The Alex you knew isn’t the same Alex we all know now.”

 

Maggie quickly looks away, “I don’t expect her to still be the Alex I knew. How could she be? She has a kid, she got everything she wanted.”

 

“Careful, Detective,” Lena scolds. “You sound bitter.”

 

“I’m not.” Maggie argues.

 

Lena softens as she regards the woman, “Look, I can’t tell you what to do or how to handle this but I think you should consider speaking with Alex. It’s been a long time, there’s always a chance for a friendship.”

 

“I don’t know how to be friends with Alex.” Maggie admits. “She’s... _Alex_. I loved her, I was going to marry her. And now? Well, now she’s moved on and there’s nothing left for me there.”

 

“That’s because you never had closure.” Lena reminds her. “You left a week after your breakup. You don’t get over a once in a lifetime romance overnight, it takes time.”

 

“I’ve had time.”

 

Lena shrugs as she pushes the lid back on her coffee cup, “Like I said, I can’t tell you what to do but I think the two of you are in need of a long overdue chat. Just think about it.”

 

Maggie watches as Lena walks away and wonders how everything in National City turned upside down in the six years she was gone.

 

-

 

**Me: Hey, Danvers.**

 

Delete.

 

**Me: Hey, Lance.**

 

Delete.

 

**Me: So, how about that coffee?**

 

Send.

 

Maggie watches with a pounding heart as three bubbles appear on the bottom of her screen; as she stares, Maggie feels her pulse race as she sees the response pop on her screen.

 

**214-679-0987: Sounds good. Noonan’s on Friday?**

 

**Me: Ok**

 

As she sets her phone aside, a small smile pulls at her lips.

 

**Sara**

 

“Mama!”

 

“Hey, bullet.” Sara laughs as she catches her running ball of energy. “What are you doing here? I thought mommy was taking you home.”

 

“She is. She’s talking to Auntie Kara about going somewhere.” Silver shrugs. “Mommy told Auntie Kara that someone asked her if she wanted to go drink that nasty stuff you and mommy like.”

 

“Coffee?” Sara chuckles.

 

Silver nods, “Yup. Mommy says she doesn’t wanna go, but Auntie Kara says she should. Mommy told me to come find you cause she got that mad look on her face, I think she’s gonna put Auntie Kara in time out.”

 

“Time out, huh?” Sara hums.

 

“Time out is the worst.” Silver declares with a look of slight displeasure. “It’s almost as bad as the nasty green trees mommy makes us eat.”

 

Sara laughs with a nod, “Broccoli really is icky.”

 

“That’s why we should have pizza for dinner every single night.” Silver beams. “Can we have pizza tonight, Mama?”

 

“Tonight is date night, kiddo.” Sara reminds her.

 

Silver tosses her head back with a groan, “Does that mean I have to go to Uncle Winn’s?”

 

“Uh, no. Your mom and I decided you two need a little time apart. Especially since you blew up his toaster last time.” Sara smirks. “You’re going to hang out with Grandpa J.”

 

“Yeah!”

 

“So, who is mom planning to have coffee with?”

 

Silver rolls her eyes, “The mean cop lady.”

 

Those words cause Sara’s smile to drop, and she is barely able to pay attention to Silver as she chatters while they roam the DEO halls. Jealousy colors her cheeks in a dark flush as she tries to keep her anger at bay; she doesn’t want to jump to conclusions. So, Sara manages to force a half-smile onto her face as she ducks into the control room and sets Silver on her feet so she can race to J’onn.

 

“What’s wrong with your face?” Winn demands.

 

Sara flashes him a glare, “Don’t worry about it.”

 

“Okay.” Winn squeaks. “Um...it’s date night, right?”

 

“Yes. And no, you don’t have Silver tonight.” Sara snaps, and she barely softens as Winn’s excitement dies away. “You nearly burnt your apartment down the last time you babysat.”

 

“Well, we were trying to make toast…”

 

“Well, you failed.”

 

“Winn failed? At what?”

 

Sara tenses as Alex walks into the room, “He failed at watching our daughter responsibly so he lost his Silver privileges for now.”

 

“Oh. Yeah. I agree with her.” Alex chirps.

 

“So, where were you?” Sara demands as she glances to her wife who is quick to look away. “I thought you were taking Silver home to get her backpack and toys.”

 

“Um, HR needed to talk to me about a few of my files.” Alex mumbles. “No big deal. I took care of it. It was uh a misunderstanding.”

 

“Oh? That’s all?”

 

Alex locks eyes with Sara slowly, “Yeah. That’s all.”

 

The fire in Sara’s gut burns hot as Alex quickly excuses herself. So much for her wife having an explanation.

 

-

 

Sara is full of glares and half answers as they sit in the dimly lit upscale restaurant with Lena and Kara. Normally, she is three glasses of wine in and trying to convince Lena and Kara to elope but tonight all she can think of is Maggie Sawyer. All she can think about is the fact that for the first time, Alex is hiding something from her. With a barely audible growl, Sara stabs her fork into a piece of steak and focuses on taking her anger out with every harsh bite she takes of the meat.

 

“...and then she _stole_ it.”

 

“What?” Kara laughs. “No! Sara, why?”

 

Sara blinks and furrows her brow, “Huh?”

 

“I was telling them about the time you took me to 1969 for the moon landing and you got into a fight with Buzz Aldrin because I wanted to take his helmet and he said no.” Alex laughs.

 

“Oh.” Sara nods as she forces a grin. “Yeah.”

 

“That’s it? You literally stole from one of the first men to ever walk on the moon.” Lena giggles, and she can’t help but look to Kara with a raised eyebrow. “I don’t think you’ve ever done something quite as romantic as that, darling.”

 

Kara flushes, “I-I do plenty of romantic things!”

 

“Oh?” Alex smirks. “Have you ever been taken to Paris in 1889 for a picnic at the Eiffel Tower? Or gone dancing in 1930 in the moonlight in front of the Empire State Building?”

 

“It’s not like I have some fancy ship that can zip me through time.” Kara pouts. “And I’ve tried to fly Lena to Paris! She gets sick!”

 

“You fly so fast.” Lena scoffs.

 

“I’m Supergirl!” Kara argues with a smile.

 

“Hey,” Alex laughs as she leans forward to rest a hand over Kara’s. “I know you’re trying to defend your own honor, but remember that you have something to hide.”

 

Sara rolls her eyes as she sips her wine, “Well, you would know about hiding things.”

 

Alex glances to her with wide eyes, “Excuse me?”

 

“Oh, nothing.” Sara shrugs as she sets her wine glass aside. “I just had a great conversation with our daughter earlier, she was telling me all about how her mom was going to hang out with the mean cop lady from the park.”

 

“Sara…”

 

“It’s fine.” Sara assures her. “I don’t need to know when you’re meeting up with your ex or _why_ you are. I’ll just shut up and let my wife frolick around with a woman who is clearly still in love with her.”

 

Alex scoffs in disbelief, “You’ll _let_ me?”

 

“Sure.” Sara replies. “Have fun.”

 

“You know what?” Alex laughs bitterly as she fixes Sara with a glare. “I had every intention to talk to you about it later, to ask what you thought. Excuse me for thinking that it would be an inappropriate conversation to have on a date night.”

 

Sara rolls her eyes, “It sure wasn’t too inappropriate for you to have in front of our kid.”

 

“Wow, Sara. That is...I think I’m gonna have to call it a night.” Alex scoffs as she pulls her napkin off her lap and stands. “Thank you for dinner, ladies. I’ll text you guys later.”

 

Sara slowly begins to stand, “Bye.”

 

“No, no. You and your bruised ego are welcome to stay.” Alex assures her with a forced smile. “I’m going to go pick up our daughter and make up a bed for you on the couch.”

 

“Alex…”

 

“I’ll see you at home.”

 

Sara watches her wife walk away and she slowly turns to face looks of irritation, “Don’t look at me like that, I have every right to be upset.”

 

“I mean, you do,” Kara begins, and the woman fidgets nervously with her glasses. “But Alex really did plan to talk to you tonight, she just didn’t want to ruin date night.”

 

“I don’t see why she wants to meet up with Maggie so badly.” Sara grumbles. “What is so important about her seeing that woman?”

 

Lena shakes her head in annoyance, “That’s Alex’s business.”

 

“I know Maggie still loves her…”

 

“Maybe.” Lena cuts in. “But Alex loves _you_. She absolutely adores you. You’re her family, Sara. You’re her every thought. And for you to question that? I don’t think you understand how badly you probably just hurt Alex.”

 

“Lena is right,” Kara whispers, and she is quick to trade a warm smile with her fiancée. “Maggie is entitled to feel whatever she feels, nobody can dictate her feelings, but you know Alex’s. My sister only wants you.”

 

Sara sighs as she leans back, “I fucked up.”

 

“That’s putting it lightly.” Lena hums.

 

“I should go.” Sara mutters as as she fumbles to her feet and grabs her leather jacket. “I think there’s somebody I need to talk to.”

 

“Sara!” Lena calls, but the woman is already off.

 

“Do you want me to follow her?”

 

Lena grabs Kara’s wrist as she goes to stand, “No. Leave her be. She won’t do anything too stupid. And there’s no use in ruining our own date night...plus, I want dessert.”

 

Kara perks up, “Chocolate?”

 

“Chocolate.”

 

-

 

A grumble of irritation leaves her as she hauls herself through the apartment window. She considered using the door like a normal human being, but the few glasses of wine and the streak of anger fuels her to believe scaling the building is a smarter plan. Sara lands on the carpet and glances around the quaint space; the colors are a little bright for her liking, but overall the apartment is put together quite nicely. And then she sees it, the row of picture frames lined along a bookshelf. In the center, a picture of Maggie and Alex rests.

 

“Agent Lance, with what do I owe the pleasure?”

 

Sara barely spares Maggie a glance as she crosses the room, “This is a great picture of Alex...she’s missing her eyebrow scar though.”

 

“Well, it is six years old.” Maggie points out.

 

“That it is.” Sara hums. “So, why do you still put it up?”

 

“You do realize that Alex and I were engaged, right? I’m always going to love her.” Maggie admits. “So, I keep that picture to remind me of all the things Alex taught me. To remind me of the woman Alex helped me become.”

 

“Very touching.”

 

“What are you doing here?” Maggie demands. “You do realize I can arrest you for breaking and entering, right?”

 

“You’d have to catch me first.” Sara shrugs, and finally she turns to face the detective. “Why are you doing this? Why are you trying to worm your way back into Alex’s life?”

 

“Alex is the one who gave me her number…”

 

“And you’re the one who chose to use it.” Sara snaps, and Maggie simply looks away. “Do I need to remind you again that she’s married? That she and I have a child?”

 

“I’m aware.” Maggie mumbles.

 

“Then I’ll ask you again,” Sara hisses. “Why are you trying to find a way back into Alex’s life?”

 

Maggie shrugs, “I’ve missed her.”

 

“Miss her from afar, Sawyer. You did it for six years just fine.” Sara points out. “You came crashing back into her life and for the first time since the day we met, she’s hiding things.”

 

“It’s obvious that you’re feeling insecure.” Maggie snaps, and Sara loosens her rigid position. “You know that Alex and I have a past and that absolutely kills you.”

 

Sara flexes her jaw, “At least I gave her the one thing you wouldn’t.”

 

“She had a child with an _assassin_.” Maggie sneers, and Sara feels her hackles rise at the tone. “Not something I’d be proud of. And I’ve seen your kid, seems like she takes after you.”

 

“Don’t talk about my kid.” Sara warns.

 

“I think I have free range to talk about what I please seeing as you barged into my home looking to pick a fight.” Maggie reminds her. “So, if you wanna bitch at me about Alex then go right on ahead, something tells me I’m gonna have to listen.”

 

“You’re a real pain in the ass.” Sara growls.

 

Maggie scoffs in response as she folds her arms over her chest, “Well, if Silver was mine at least we could say she got one thing from me.”

 

“What the fuck did you just say?”

 

“Look, Sara…”

 

“Stop. Just...stop. I need a second because if I speak to you then I’m going to say something that you don’t want to hear.” Sara warns as she rubs at her temples. “Or worse I’m just going to murder you and leave you to rot.”

 

“You’re the one who broke into my apartment, you brought this up.” Maggie scoffs. “So, you don’t get to be pissed when I say something you don’t like.”

 

Sara drops her hands, “You think I give a fuck about the things you’ve said to me, Sawyer? I don’t. You had your chance with her, and you walked away. You didn’t want to try.”

 

Maggie opens her mouth to speak and Sara feels that last strand of control snap, and she immediately pushes the detective back. She doesn’t like this feeling, like she’s out of control. She looks at Maggie and the threat she feels makes her quake with anger, it makes something dead that is deep within her spark back to life. As much as she hates to admit it, Sara feels threatened; she just wants Maggie to disappear again.

 

“Who are you to come waltzing back into her life thinking she has room for you? Who the hell are you to look at me and try to make me doubt myself? And who the fuck are to think you have any right to even speak my daughter’s name?”

 

In front of her, Maggie stands frozen. And Sara sees it, sees that flash of slight fear in her eyes. She knows her tone is sharp and dripping with ice; she knows she is reverting back to the version of herself she fought to rid herself of. Thankfully, Maggie is smart enough to keep her mouth shut. She’s smart enough to know that Sara has a fire inside of her that no one can fan out right now.

 

“Do you really believe Alex would’ve settled for the life you’re hanging onto?” Sara demands. “She wanted a child, she wanted a family. And _I_ gave her that. I give her  _everything._ I give her love, understanding, support, attention, and most importantly happiness.”

 

Maggie glances away, “Can I speak?”

 

“If you must.” Sara grumbles.

 

“Sara, I don’t want her back. I want what we had, but that is long past over.” Maggie shrugs. “She has a good life and a cute kid, I would never try to ruin something like that.”

 

“Then why did you ask her out for coffee?” Sara snaps. “Why do you want to meet up with her so badly?”

 

“Because Alex needs this.” Maggie whispers. “I’ve found some peace, but she hasn’t. I bailed the second I could and she never got to say goodbye. I’m doing this for Alex because I would do anything for her.”

 

Sara falters, “I...I…”

 

“Tell me you wouldn’t do the same.” Maggie mumbles, and the smile on her face holds no happiness. “If that woman asks me to run across the world then I’d do it with no questions asked. She needs this, Sara. I just want to help her.”

 

“And that’s all?” Sara demands.

 

“I’m not going to fight a war that’s already been won, Lance. I know my place.” Maggie assures her. “Just like Alex knows hers, and that place is right beside you with your kid.”

 

Sara narrows her eyes, “If you try anything…”

 

“Then you can kick my ass.” Maggie cuts in, and Sara can’t help but grin. “I promise this is just coffee and closure.”

 

“I believe you.”

 

“So,” Maggie begins after a moment of silence stretches between them. “Since you’re here, can I get you a beer?”

 

“Nah. I uh I have some groveling to do.” Sara admits as she rubs the back of her neck. “And my girls are waiting for me.”

 

Maggie finally gives a genuine smile, “Then I guess you shouldn’t keep them waiting.”

 

Sara looks at Maggie for a moment and sees it, sees the spark of something in her die away. She watches with the slightest hint of sympathy as Maggie finally sets Alex free.

 

**Alex**

 

“Bullet?”

 

Alex pauses as she hears a giggle, and she looks slowly around the room in search of the sound. After a moment, she sees tiny feet poking out from beneath the bed and she is quiet as she tiptoes towards them and wraps her hands around thin ankles. After that, the only sound she hears is screaming as she pulls Silver from beneath the bed and gathers her in her arms; like so many times before, the five-year-old begins to struggle in her embrace as she uses her mother like a jungle gym until she is safely on her shoulders.

 

“You founded me.” Silver huffs.

 

Alex stands and wraps her hands safely around her daughter’s legs, “Of course I did, I’m the queen of hide and go seek.”

 

“No fair.” Silver whines.

 

“Now, I do believe we had a deal.” Alex hums as she carries her daughter into the kitchen and pulls her over her head. “You said if I found you that you would allow me to do your hair…”

 

Silver glares as Alex holds her tiny form at an arm’s length in front of her, “I don’t wanna.”

 

“A deal is a deal.” Alex sings as she quickly pulls Silver to her and scatters kisses along her neck till she is squeaking. “As much as I love your hair, if I don’t brush it out then it’s going to become a bird nest on your head.”

 

“Will birds live there?” Silver asks, and her expression turns thoughtful as Alex plops her on a barstool. “That’d be cool. I’d be like Cinderella. Mommy, would I be Cinderella?”

 

Alex smiles adoringly as she runs her fingers through Silver’s long waves, “If you want to be Cinderella then you’re Cinderella, bullet.”

 

“Why do you and mama call me that?” Silver demands, and she struggles to turn her head as her mother works on the tangles in her hair. “What does it mean?”

 

“Well, it’s your nickname.” Alex explains, and her hands move swiftly as she braids Silver’s blonde hair. “Do you wanna hear something funny? Your mama wanted to _name_ you bullet.”

 

“Really?” Silver gasps.

 

“Yup. And I told her absolutely not.” Alex smiles, and Silver is quick to spin on her barstool as soon as her hair is clipped. “So, we thought about tons and tons of names and then mama said Silver.”

 

“I like my name.” Silver chirps, a yawn leaves her as she lifts her arms tiredly. “Auntie Lena says it’s the best name cause it’s one of a kind.”

 

Alex lifts Silver into her arms and quietly carries her to her bedroom, “Yes, it is. Your entire name is _very_ special. Someday, when you’re old enough to understand, I’ll tell you all about it.”

 

“Okay.” Silver murmurs. “I think I’ll be old enough when I’m ten.”

 

“We’ll see.” Alex replies.

 

Alex stays with Silver until the child drifts off into a peaceful sleep. With a smile, Alex watches her daughter with a look of adoration and thinks back to her fight with Sara. It’s the last thing she wants. All she knows is that there’s still a chapter open in her book of life, and unfinished paragraph, and Alex knows Maggie is the key to letting it all go. A strong breath leaves her as she looks down at Silver; sometimes she thinks about how she could’ve settled for that happiness with Maggie. But then there wouldn’t be Sara. There wouldn’t be Silver. And the thought makes her breathless.

 

“I love you and your mom so much.” Alex whispers, and she is gentle as she fixes Silver’s blankets. “You two are the best things that have ever happened to me, I hope you know that.”

 

Alex leaves a kiss on Silver’s head and flips on her nightlight before she slips from the room. With a sigh, Alex goes about cleaning up the house and allowing herself to drown in her own thoughts. She knows she’s going to meet with Maggie, she knows that Sara can’t talk her out of it, but that doesn’t mean she wants to fight with her wife over it.

 

“You told her about her name?”

 

Alex barely flinches at the voice, “Sorta. How long have you been here?”

 

“Just long enough to hear your short version of her name. You don’t think she’s ready for the whole story? It’s a good one.” Sara teases. “Her mom completely saved my ass from a silver bullet.”

 

“I couldn’t lose you.” Alex whispers as she glances down at the wood floors. “You are the first person I’ve risked myself like that for besides Kara. The second that shot was fired and I had been hit, I knew it was worth it. I had to keep you safe.”

 

Sara licks her lips and looks away, “You’ve gotta see where I’m coming from with this…”

 

“Sara, I’m trying to understand it but I can’t.” Alex admits. “I love you so much. I would never even have a passing thought about cheating…”

 

“Whoa, whoa. I never even considered the idea of you cheating.” Sara assures her, and she softens at the expression of relief Alex gives. “I’m sorry, Alex. I’ve been acting completely out of character, I’m just a little...jealous.”

 

“Jealous?” Alex laughs. “Jealous of Maggie?”

 

“Jealous of your past with her.” Sara corrects. “I got to witness firsthand the impact she hsd on you, remember? I got to see the pain, the doubt. And I can’t help but think about it.”

 

“Yeah, but I met you.” Alex reminds her, and she’s none too gentle as she grabs the leather of Sara’s jacket and pulls her forward. “I met you and all that pain and doubt flew out the window.”

 

Sara flashes a lopsided grin, “Yeah?”

 

“Yeah.” Alex whispers.

 

“I love you, Alex.” Sara murmurs as she glances up with a hesitant expression. “I’m sorry that I’ve been so weird about this. I want you to go see Maggie, I want you to find your peace.”

 

Alex watches Sara for a moment; she sees the exhaustion, and the honesty. With a sigh, Alex cups Sara’s face and draws her into a deep kiss. Instantly, Sara sinks into the familiar touch as she takes in everything that Alex offers. With a soft moan, Sara begins to guide Alex towards their bedroom and both women can’t help but laugh softly as they fumble against the wall.

 

“What happened to sleeping on the couch?” Sara mumbles as her hands tug at Alex’s shirt. “You gonna kick me out as soon as this is over?”

 

Alex laughs as she lifts her arms, “We’ll see.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“Yeah. Let’s see how much work you can put in tonight.” Alex smirks, and she is quick to give in as Sara pulls her shirt over her head.

 

“Is that a challenge?” Sara scoffs.

 

Alex smiles as they drop back against the wall with a dull thud, “Isn’t everything with us a challenge?”

 

“Only the fun stuff.”

 

“Oh?” Alex purrs, and she finally manages to push the bedroom door open and push Sara closer to the bed. “Well, then let’s have some fun.”

 

-

 

“And she comes _running_ out of Catco in her pull ups waving around a lightsaber, that Winn rigged for her, and yelling freedom.”

 

Alex watches with a smile as Maggie tosses her head back with a laugh while slapping a hand against the table. They’ve been trapped in a booth in the back of the little café for an hour swapping stories and making eachother laugh until they’re both red in the face. It feels good, like a long lost memory. Like the times before kisses and broken hearts. Like the times when Maggie Sawyer was someone she called her best friend.

 

Maggie tapers off as she reaches for her cooling coffee, “Your kid sounds like a trip, Danvers. Actually, she sounds just like Kara.”

 

“You know, that’s what we all thought up until she turned three,” Alex chuckles. “Then her favorite words became threats. She’d go in the sandbox and literally ask kids if they wanted to fight.”

 

“She did not…”

 

“Yup. It was around that time that Sara and I started calling her bullet.”

 

At the mention of her wife, the atmosphere changes. The air becomes a little colder. Maggie becomes a little withdrawn. So far they’ve managed to avoid the topic of Alex’s marriage, but now that the door is open she doesn’t want to close it. She’s proud to be with Sara, she’s proud of the life they’ve built together and she refuses to hide that. With a hard swallow, Alex reaches for her coffee and takes a sip as Maggie turns to watch the little crowd that moves soundlessly around them.

 

“How long was it till you met her?”

 

The question catches Alex off guard. It makes her choke on the liquid that burns down her throat, and she waves off Maggie as she is met with dark, concerned eyes. Part of her wishes the coffee would’ve burned right through her voice box, leaving her unable to tell Maggie the truth. But the other half believes that Maggie deserves to know; Maggie deserves her closure too.

 

“Three weeks.” Alex whispers.

 

Maggie falls back against her chair, “You didn’t waste anytime, huh?”

 

“That’s not fair.” Alex scoffs. “I-I wanted us to work, but we wanted different things and there was no changing either of us. I didn’t jump into a relationship with Sara. In fact, I pushed her away because I was holding out for you.”

 

“Alex…”

 

“I kept waiting. I kept telling Sara no, telling her to stop coming around but she always showed up. She made me laugh, she listened to me, and she...she waited for me.” Alex whispers, and her eyes when as she thinks of her wife. “She loves me. She makes me _so_ happy, Maggie.”

 

Maggie swallows hard, “I’m glad.”

 

“Part of me is always going to love you,” Alex admits as she reaches out for Maggie’s hand. “And that part is so grateful for you, but I’ve moved on. Just like I’m sure you have.”

 

“There’s been people.” Maggie shrugs, and she slowly pulls her hand from beneath Alex’s. “But not like you. I guess that’s been my problem. I keep looking for what we had.”

 

“We had a good thing, and I will always look back on it with so much happiness, but the life I have now is the one I always dreamed of.” Alex says, and a laugh of disbelief slips free. “My wife is everything that I need, and she gets me. When I look at her, I know what happiness feels like.”

 

Maggie huffs out a breath, “Yeah?”

 

“And I’m...I’m a _mom_.” Alex gushes. “Sara gave me this beautiful little girl who calls me mommy and holds my hand. She gave me Silver, and she gave me a family.”

 

“Did you get it all then, Danvers?”

 

Alex frowns in confusion as she shakes herself from her thoughts, “Excuse me?”

 

“The Valentines? The camping trips? The constellations?” Maggie asks in soft whisper. “Did you get all of that?”

 

“Yeah.” Alex whispers, and a smile crosses her face as she thinks of Silver. “And the world is so much better because she’s in it.”

 

“I told you.” Maggie hums.

 

“Told me what?”

 

“I told you that you were gonna be a good mom.”

 

“You did.” Alex nods. “And I clung to that, I thought of it a lot during my pregnancy. Your belief in me? Maggie, you’ll never understand how much that meant to me.”

 

“Letting you go was hardest thing I have ever done, but letting those be my last words to you was the best decision I’ve ever made.” Maggie confesses with a smile. “I wanted you to hold onto them, and I’m so glad you did.”

 

Alex falls silent as she feels a broken piece of her being sewed back together. She expected a bigger bang, a noticeable tug, but the healing is slow. Gradual. Everything that she and Maggie weren’t during their relationship. With a glance at her watch, Alex winces as she realizes that it’s almost time to get her daughter ready for bed.

 

“I uh I have to go.” Alex murmurs. “We should do this again...if that’s okay.”

 

Maggie forces a smile, “I think I need a little space for awhile. It’s not you, it’s me. I just have a lot to work out in my head.”

 

“I’ll give you all the space you need.” Alex assures her. “When... _if_ you want to get together again then you have my number. Maybe we could grab dinner? You, me, and Sara?”

 

“Maybe.” Maggie hums, and Alex can feel the heavy gaze on her as she gathers her jacket. “Danvers, if you could go back...would you do it again? Us?”

 

Alex smiles softly as she carefully spins her wedding band around her finger, “If it meant that I’d end up right here again in the end, then I’d do it in a heartbeat.”

 

-

 

Alex can hear giggling as soon as she approaches her front door and her heart immediately warms. As she pushes into her home, that familiar flutter in her stomach begins as she takes in her giggling daughter and a laughing wife. Sara is chasing Silver around the apartment, and both are smeared with flour and eggs; this is her life, her crazy but wonderful life, and she wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.

 

“Mommy!”

 

“Hey, you.” Alex laughs, and she barely manages to steady herself as Silver jumps into her arms. “Why are you covered in flour?”

 

“Pancakes!” Silver replies as she holds her sticky hands up.

 

“We were attempting to make some dinner for you, but this one decided it would be funny to throw flour at me instead.” Sara explains. “I couldn’t just let something like that go.”

 

Alex arches an eyebrow at her, “Oh?”

 

“She may be cute, but I don’t play around when it comes to food fights.” Sara shrugs. “And because of your daughter, we have no dinner.”

 

“I love that she’s my daughter whenever she’s causing problems.” Alex teases, and Sara simply scrunches her nose. “So, ordering in it is. What are you feeling? Pizza? Chinese? Tahi?”

 

“What do you think, bullet? Pizza? Extra cheese for me and half ham for you?” Sara asks as she reaches out to tickle Silver’s stomach. “And nothing for your mom.”

 

Alex rolls her eyes, “How about nothing for  _you?_ ”

 

“Mommy, she has to eat.” Silver argues as she cups Alex’s face between her tiny hands. “I’m gonna kick mama’s butt later cause she’s going to train me. We’re gonna throw knives!”

 

Sara playfully puffs out her chest, “Fun stuff, huh?”

 

“Um, no.” Alex scoffs. “Plastic knives only, alright?”

 

“Whatever you say.” Sara grumbles.

 

“Can I go get the menus?”

 

Alex carefully sets Silver down, “Second drawer, baby.”

 

“No running!” Sara calls, but Silver ignores her as she bolts towards the kitchen. “So, do I want to ask how coffee went?”

 

Alex doesn’t speak, she simply steps forward and presses a soft kiss to her wife’s lips. As she pulls away, she hovers inches away and gives Sara a chance to pull away. But she doesn’t, instead Sara presses their lips together and opens her mouth to draw Alex’s lower lip between her teeth. Every cliché thing happens as Alex melts into the familiar touch; every firework explodes, every choir member sings, every dove is released into the air, and her heart is pumping against her chest screaming _yours, yours, yours, yours._

 

Alex needs to be closer, and she can’t resist twining her fingers in the belt loops of Sara’s skin tight jeans as she pulls her close. The second lips part to release a moan, Alex deepens the kiss; she takes everything she can from Sara, and offers everything she is in return. And unsurprisingly, Sara accepts it all as her hips snap forward into Alex’s; Alex feels the insistent hum of arousal begin low in her belly and swell through her.

 

She has to stop. She _has_ to. With a soft whine, Alex pulls away and laughs as she is met with a dazed expression and a goofy smile.

 

“It went that well?” Sara rasps.

 

Alex cups her face and drops their foreheads together, “It did. It really, really did. And I love you. I love you so much.”

 

“I love you, too.”

 

“What about me?” Silver huffs as she races into the room. “Where’s my love?”

 

“Get over here.” Sara orders.

 

Alex and Sara gather Silver between them and shower her sticky face with kisses as she squeals and tries to squirm her way free. After a moment, Alex pulls away and looks between the two loves of her life; a sense of peace swells deep inside as she presses one last kiss to Silver’s flour filled locks before she twists her out of Sara’s arms and onto her shoulder.

 

“Mama is gonna order dinner why I take you to the bath.” Alex declares as she turns so Silver can hand Sara the to-go menu. “Off we go.”

 

“Mommy, where did you go?”

 

Alex carries Silver into the bathroom and twists the bath water on, “What do you mean? I told you I was gonna go get coffee with a friend.”

 

“But you seem…” Silver trails of and taps a finger against her chin as she thinks. “You look like Auntie Kara after she comes back from being a super cool superhero. You look like a costume.”

 

“A costume?” Alex repeats, and it takes a moment to realize what her daughter means. “Oh! You mean accomplished?”

 

“That’s what I said.” Silver shrugs.

 

“Of course you did.” Alex chuckles, a sigh leaves her as she ducks her hand beneath the spout of water to feel the temperature. “I feel accomplished because I did something important today.”

 

Silver tilts her head, “Whatdya do?”

 

“I let go.” Alex whispers. “Now, bubbles or no?”

 

“Mommy, I can do it.” Silver assures her.

 

“Okay, kiddo,” Alex grins. “Be careful.”

 

“Always.” Silver chirps as she skips over to gather her strawberry scented bubble bath. “Mommy, I’m super happy you let go.”

 

“Me too, baby.”

 

With a glance over shoulder, Alex leaves Silver to bathe. She knows her daughter doesn’t understand what Alex let go of, but then again maybe she did. As Alex walks through the house and cleans up abandoned toys and unfolded blankets, a smile crosses her face; this is what she wants. Forever. Finally, she turns into the corner and she observes the way Sara cleans with a grin and flour smeared across her cheek.

 

Alex leans against the counter as she watches Sara scrub at the plastered flour and eggs, “Your daughter has decided she wants to get her own bath ready tonight.”

 

“Oh, is that so?” Sara laughs. “Why do you sound surprised? Haven’t you heard? She’s five now, a whole hand, practically a grown up. She told me today that she needs to learn how to be an independent woman.”

 

“Maybe she should spend less time with Iris and Felicity during the holidays.” Alex chuckles. “I hope we have a boy next.”

 

Sara pauses and looks up, “What?”

 

“Well, you did say you were ready for another one. And I know I definitely am.” Alex sighs, and a grin tugs at her lips as she pushes off the counter. “So, we should start looking at donors again.”

 

“You really mean that? You want to be pregnant again? That means no field work and having to constantly pee.” Sara warns, but Alex can hear the tremor of excitement in her voice. “And we’ll have two little Lances running around.”

 

“Wasn’t that always the plan?” Alex shrugs.

 

“I mean, I like it.” Sara smirks as Alex slowly steps into her space. “But that means another nine months of supposed misery for you.”

 

“I am _so_ not carrying again.” Alex scoffs as she holds her hands up defensively. “Your kid destroyed my abs.”

 

Sara laughs softly, “But you were so cute.”

 

“Cute? I was miserable.” Alex laughs, and Sara simply matches it with a chuckle. “We should consider adopting. Or maybe a surrogate. Anything to avoid child birth again.”

 

“But it’s a miracle.” Sara smirks.

 

Alex backs Sara into the counter, “I’ll show you a miracle, Lance.”

 

“Mommy!”

 

Alex rolls her eyes, “Duty calls.”

 

“You sure you want another one?” Sara teases as she watches Alex move towards the doorway of the kitchen. “You wanna do this all over again?”

  
“With you by my side?” Alex smiles. “Of course.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end?


	3. just breathe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The Lance family is back with another set of adventures. Hope y'all enjoy :)

Sara promises to be around for this one. She promises that she’ll be there for every appointment, every early morning bent over the toilet, and everything in between. She promises. Except the universe isn’t concerned about her promises, and Sara once again ends up being called away to help her team. Silver cries more than Alex does when they find out; personally, Alex doesn’t want to think about it. If she thinks about it then she’s going to stress, and stress isn’t good for the baby.

 

“You gonna talk to me?”

 

Alex glances up at her wife leaning against the doorway of their bedroom, “What do you mean? What is there to talk about?”

 

“Maybe the fact that I’m leaving tomorrow.” Sara shrugs, and a look of sadness crosses her face as Alex bites her lower lip. “Babe, you know that I would stay if I could.”

 

“I know, but your team needs you.” Alex whispers, and she is quick to go back folding the laundry surrounding her. “I get it. It’s just...hard. We haven’t even told anyone other than our parents about the pregnancy.”

 

“I know.” Sara sighs.

 

“I realize that you can’t control when the team needs you, but I wanted you here for this.” Alex admits. “I wanted you to be at every appointment, the gender reveal, painting their nursery. Just...all of it.”

 

“Do you want me to tell them no?” Sara asks in a soft tone as she crosses the room. “Alex, say the word and I promise you that I’ll stay.”

 

“I know you would.” Alex nods, and Sara gives her an adoring smile as she melts in her embrace. “But I would never ask you do that. This is who you are, and I don’t want to change that.”

 

Sara presses a kiss to the top of Alex’s head, “I won’t be gone long. Just a few weeks and I’ll be back. After that, I’m hanging up my captain hat for good and saying goodbye to the Waverider.”

 

“Oh?” Alex laughs. “And what about the rest of the team?”

 

“They’ve got a choice, they can either stay or we can pass this onto a new team.” Sara shrugs. “Jax wants to go be with Lily and Ronnie.”

 

Alex arches an eyebrow, “Really?”

 

“He denies that there’s anything there, but we all kinda know.” Sara chuckles. “Nate and Ray have so much they want to do, Snart wants to go back to his world, Zari has to go back to her time and I imagine Amaya won’t be far behind.”

 

“So,” Alex furrows her brow. “This is going to be your last trip around the time loop? After that you’re just going to settle down?”

 

“Babe, I’m already settled down.” Sara reminds her, and Alex simply rolls her eyes. “There’s a lot of things I want to do, and the most important thing is be there to raise my kids. And to love my wife. I want to be with my family.”

 

“Well, the three of us will be waiting for you when you get back.” Alex assures her.

 

Sara smiles as she kneels, “Mind if I have a chat with our spawn?”

 

“I mean, I’d prefer for you to be on your knees in front of me for a different reason,” Alex sighs as she rakes her hands through blonde locks. “But I suppose you can say hello.”

 

Sara smiles as she runs a hand over Alex’s toned abdomen, “Hey, little Lance. I’m not gonna be able to talk to you as much as I want, but I just wanted to let you know I love you. I’ll see you soon.”

 

-

 

Sara smiles softly as she props her head in her hand and continues to admire Alex from the safety of their bed. For the last few minutes, Alex has been turning from side to side to admire her stomach. Sara isn’t ashamed to admit that she is mesmerized by Alex’s stomach, she felt the same way when Alex was pregnant with Silver.

 

“Pregnancy always looks so good on you.” Sara whispers, and Alex startles as she turns to look at the woman. “I didn’t mean to scare you, I’ve just been watching you. You’re already starting to show a little.”

 

Alex flushes as she rests a protective hand on her stomach, “It’s subtle, but there’s definitely a bump. So, how long do I have you for?”

 

“Long enough for me to enjoy that bump.” Sara replies as she offers her hand. “Come lay with me for a little bit.”

 

“How long do you think we have before Silver comes bursting in?” Alex sighs, and the woman purrs in contentment as she slides onto the bed and into Sara’s waiting arms. “As much as I love our daughter, I need a second with you.”

 

“You can have all my seconds.” Sara grins.

 

“I just want this to hurry up and be over so you can come home…”

 

Sara turns her head to press a kiss to Alex’s forehead, “To me, she was those final steps. The turnaround the last bend. The house with the light on, and a fire lit, and a faint laugh in the distance on the warm wind. That was she, she was my always coming home.”

 

“Atticus?” Alex frowns.

 

“Yup. I saw the book of poems sitting around one day and I couldn’t put it down.” Sara admits. “Hey, and I mean that. You are my home, Alex. I’ll always come back to you.”

 

“I don’t doubt that you will.” Alex assures her. “I just feel like this pregnancy is going to be...different. I don’t know how to explain it, but I just feel like this is going to be harder than my first pregnancy.”

 

Sara settles a hand on Alex’s stomach, “It’s gonna be okay, Al. It’s just nerves.”

 

“I…”

 

“Mama?”

 

Alex trails off as she lifts her head, “Hey, bullet.”

 

“Cuddle sandwich?” Silver whispers.

 

Alex looks at her daughter and remembers for a moment just how young her little girl is. Silver is only five yet her little life is already so confusing, so full of adventures that she can’t be a part of. For a moment, Alex slips away into her favorite fantasy of leaving National City behind so she hide her family away in Midvale. They’d be so happy. Alex would take a job at the local clinic, Sara would be a part of the police force, and their kids would have a normal life.

 

But it’s a fantasy, and Alex knows it.

 

“Yeah, kid. Get over here.” Sara chuckles.

 

Silver scrambles towards the bed and hauls herself onto the mattress, “Mama, is today the day you go away on your trip?”

 

“It is.” Sara nods, Silver pouts as she wedges herself between her mothers. “I’ll be back super soon though, there’s a lot of things that are waiting here for me.”

 

“Like what?”

 

“Well, like Nacho. Who else is gonna take him on his walks?” Sara smirks, and she casts a quick glance to the French bulldog snoozing nearby. “And your mom. I mean, she needs all my kisses.”

 

Silver huffs, “ _And_?”

 

“And _you_.” Sara laughs as she digs her fingers into Silver’s side till she squeals with laughter. “I know you’ll be here waiting for bedtime stories and our playground dates.”

 

“Where are you gonna go?” Silver asks.

 

Sara sighs as she plays with Alex’s hair, “All over.”

 

“Are you gonna miss me?” Silver demands.

 

“Every second, bullet. But I have a bit of a job for you while I’m gone.” Sara smiles, and Silver perks up at the words. “I need you to take care of your mommy, she has a special present in her tummy and she needs you to help keep it safe.”

 

Silver squeaks, “Is it a baby?”

 

“Yeah,” Sara laughs. “It’s a baby.”

 

“Really?” Silver gasps as she rolls onto Alex who simply nods with a fond smile. “Mommy, how did the baby get in there? Did you eat it?”

 

“No, baby,” Alex chuckles. “Your mama and I went to the doctor and he helped us put the baby in my belly. The baby is gonna grow in there for nine months and then he or she will be here.”

 

Silver stares wide eyed at Alex’s stomach, “Can it be a girl?”

 

“Well, that’s not up for us to decide. That’s gonna be a surprise.” Sara replies. “So, do you think you can take care of mommy for me?”

 

“Uh huh.” Silver beams. “Super good care.”

 

“And I also need you to hold onto this.” Sara grins as she sits up and unlocks her locket. “This was your Aunt Laurel’s, after she died I took it from her jewelry box so I could always have a piece of her with me.”

 

“You’re gonna let _me_ have it?”

 

Sara laughs under her breath as she gently guides it around Silver’s neck, “I’m not quite giving it to you. At least not yet. I just want you to hold onto it until I come home to you and your mom.”

 

“Whatcha gonna leave mommy?” Silver asks as she marvels at the golden locket that hangs low against her chest.

 

“My heart.” Sara whispers.

 

Alex rolls her eyes, “How about some breakfast, you cheeseball?”

 

“One last home cooked meal? Yes please.” Sara nods, and she quickly rolls off the bed. “Race you to the kitchen, bullet!”

 

Alex lays in bed and watches as her wife and daughter bolt from the bedroom; she doesn’t know how she’s gonna be without this. She doesn’t know how she’ll be okay without Sara.

 

-

 

It isn’t surprising to Alex when the front door swings open and two bodies pile into the house. Breakfast is put away and Sara is packing a bag, and Alex is spinning her wedding band around her finger and pacing. As soon as she sees the two familiar faces of Sara’s team her heart sinks; she thought she’d be okay with this, she thought she’d be able to handle it. But she isn’t so sure anymore.

 

“Uncle Mickey!”

 

Mick gives a small smile, “Little Lance.”

 

“Hi! Pick me up!” Silver orders.

 

“So demanding, like your mom.” Mick grumbles even as he hauls the child over his shoulder. “What have you been up to?”

 

“Helping mama pack.” Silver sighs. “Are you gonna take her away for long time?”

 

“Not too long.” Snart chirps as he throws himself onto the couch. “Not to worry, your mom will be returned to you in one piece...well, _maybe_ one piece. It might be a few pieces.”

 

“Comforting, Leo.” Alex grumbles. “Where’s the rest of the team?”

 

“They’re waiting on the ship.” Mick shrugs, and his smile lessens as he sets Silver on her feet. “Think we can take Little Lance with us?”

 

Alex scoffs, “Like hell.”

 

“Mama needs me to stay here with mommy.” Silver says as she skips towards Alex and curls herself around her leg. “She says I gotta stay and protect the baby.”

 

“Silver.” Alex groans.

 

Snart perks up, “Baby?”

 

“You hittin’ on my girl, Leo?” Sara demands, and she is quick to smack him upside the head as she passes behind him. “Nobody but _me_ gets to call her baby.”

 

“I was speaking of the baby your lovely daughter mentioned.” Snart huffs as he rubs the back of his head. “You never mentioned you were going to be torturing the world by gifting us another one of your spawns.”

 

Sara arches an eyebrow, “That’s because nobody was supposed to find out…”

 

“Your secret’s safe with us.” Snart assures her as he winks towards Mick. “Isn’t that right, partner?”

 

Mick shrugs as he rummages through the fridge for a beer, “I won’t remember this conversation in five minutes.”

 

“We really must be going.” Snart sighs.

 

“Okay.” Sara huffs. “Give me a few minutes.”

 

“Farewell, Alex. I do hope to see you…”

 

“Let’s go, lover boy.” Mick grunts as he hauls his partner up from the couch. “See you later, Little Lance.”

 

Silver races into Sara’s arms, “Bye, Uncle Mickey!”

 

Sara laughs as she watches her teammates disappear from the house, and her heart drops at the silence that surrounds them. With a soft smile, Sara steadies Silver on one hip while her empty hand reaches out to fiddle with the locket around her daughter’s neck. After a few silent minutes, Silver covers her hand and Sara lifts her head to meet her daughter’s wide eyes.

 

“Take care of this, okay?” Sara orders.

 

Silver sniffles with a nod, “Okay.”

 

“I love you, and I will be home _so_ soon.” Sara whispers. “You can call me anytime you want and we’ll talk on FaceTime everyday. It’ll be like I’m not even gone.”

 

“Will you read ne my stories every night?”

 

Sara smiles sadly, “Not every night, bullet.”

 

“But you’ll think of me and mommy everyday and you won’t forget my favorite ice cream?” Silver asks with wide, tearfilled eyes. “And you’ll remember all the ‘portant stuff?”

 

“I won’t forget a single thing.” Sara assures her.

 

Silver curls her arms around Sara and tucks her face in her neck, “I love you, Mama.”

 

“I love you, bullet.” Sara sighs, and she can’t help but tighten her grasp on her daughter. “Be good for your mom, okay? Help her clean up your toys and remember to do your letters.”

 

“Okay, Mama.” Silver sniffles.

 

Alex can see how hard it is for Sara to put Silver down. She sees the literal pain in her wife’s eyes, and then she sees them harden a moment later. As soon as Sara crosses the room, Alex tucks her hands beneath the leather of her jacket and pulls her close. She breathes in the soft smell of Sara’s body wash, and she turns her head to draw their mouths together in a kiss that says everything. It tells Sara to be careful, tells her to come home soon, and that Alex loves her.

 

“Stay.” Alex whines as she pulls away.

 

“I’ll be back.” Sara grins.

 

Alex presses their foreheads together, “Soon?”

 

“As soon as possible.” Sara chuckles, and she drops a hand to rest on Alex’s abdomen. “Don’t let this little bean get too big while I’m gone, alright?”

 

“I don’t think I can control that…”

 

“Boss,” Mick calls from the doorway. “Ship is warmed up.”

 

Sara sighs as she presses a gentle kiss to Alex’s lips and pulls away, “I love you.”

 

“I love you.” Alex murmurs.

 

Sara stands in the doorway of the house and looks back at them with a lopsided smile. After a moment, she gives them a wink and disappears on the door. As soon as it slams shut, Silver races across the room and reaches for the doorknob only to stop halfway and drop her hand in defeat.

 

“Mama,” Silver whispers as she stares up at the closed front door. “Don’t go.”

 

Finally, Alex allows her tears to fall.

 

-

 

The house feels so empty.

 

Silver is napping, and Alex is curled on the couch in one of Sara’s old t-shirts with a mug of warm tea in her hands. She knows there’s a million other things she should be doing, but right now she wants to wallow. She deserves the right to. A sigh leaves her, and she glances up as she hears the lock turning on the door. For a moment, she expects Sara to come around the corner with a new gadget for Silver or a lopsided smile. Instead she sees Kara and Lena, and she feels guilty about how disappointed she immediately is.

 

“Hi.” Alex smiles.

 

Kara falls lazily onto the couch, “How are you?”

 

“I’m okay.” Alex shrugs.

 

“You and your sister are the worst liars I have ever encountered.” Lena sighs as she drops onto Alex’s opposite side. “So, let’s try that again...how are you doing?”

 

“I really am okay. We agreed to FaceTime as much as we can and I have Silver to distract me.” Alex points out. “Of course it’ll be hard for a little while, but Silver and I will adjust.”

 

“And we’ll be here to help.” Lena assures her.

 

Alex smiles softly, “I know.”

 

Kara is oddly silent and Alex knows her sister is intently listening to something, and she figures she is tuning into Silver until she notices where her gaze rests. Curious blue eyes are locked on Alex’s abdomen, and she can only roll her eyes in amusement as she pulls a hand away from her mug to press it protectively against her abdomen. Apparently it’s all the confirmation Kara needs as she brightens and begins to bounce on the couch with a hand cupped over her mouth.

 

“Kara?” Lena frowns.

 

Kara eagerly drops her hand, “Are you…?”

 

“This is why Sara wanted to lock me away for a few months.” Alex teases, and she turns her head to meet Lena’s puzzled gaze. “ _Somebody_ took it upon themselves to listen in on my extra heartbeat.”

 

“Extra heartbeat?” Lena repeats, and it takes her a moment to put the pieces together. “Oh my God! Alex, are you pregnant?”

 

“I am.” Alex laughs.

 

Kara squeals as she wraps herself around her sister and draws her into a hug. It soothes Alex for a moment, grounds her. It reminds her of how Sara had reacted when she found out about the pregnancy; in a normal Sara fashion, she played it off with a bright smile and a kiss but Alex had caught her chattering happily to her stomach late in the evening. She hadn’t made a move to call her out, she simply laid there with her eyes closed while Sara told their growing child how much she loved them and couldn’t wait to meet them.

 

“Alex, I’m so happy for you guys.” Lena grins.

 

“Thank you. Sara and I are beyond happy, and Silver is excited even if she doesn’t quite understand everything.” Alex whispers, and a smile forms on her lips as Kara presses an ear to her stomach. “What are you doing?”

 

“Listening to my niece’s heartbeat.” Kara chirps.

 

“Sara and I are hoping for a boy.”

 

Kara pops up with a scowl, “You can’t name a boy Kara.”

 

“Kara, we talked about this,” Lena hums as she watches her fiancée pout. “Not everyone wants to name their child after you.”

 

“But…”

 

“Sara likes the name Jeremiah.” Alex admits, and Kara pops up with wide eyes. “She also really likes Quinn, after her father. Personally, I prefer the name Jonathan over Jeremiah.”

 

“After J’onn?” Kara frowns.

 

“Yeah.” Alex nods. “He’s been there for so much. He’s picked me up when I fell, and saved me from the darkest time in my life. He protects me, listens to me, and taught me how to be someone other than Supergirl’s sister.”

 

Lena brushes a hand over Alex’s hair, “I love it.”

 

“Mommy?”

 

Alex looks over the back of the couch to see Silver fumbling sleepily down the stairs, “Hi, baby. Did you have a good nap?”

 

“Uh huh.” Silver yawns as she fumbles towards the couch. “Hi, Auntie Kara. Hi, Auntie Lena. Mama went away today.”

 

Lena gives her a sympathetic smile as she reaches down to pull the child onto her lap, “But she’ll be back soon, huh?”

 

“I hope so.” Silver sighs.

 

Alex watches as her daughter curls into Lena’s chest, “In the meantime, you and I will have lots of fun. We can go on walks with Nacho, get ice cream, yoga classes, training with Lucy, and sleepovers with Auntie Kara and Lena.”

 

“I’m still gonna miss mama.” Silver shrugs.

  
“Yeah, baby,” Alex whispers. “Me too.”


	4. when it all comes down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: HAPPY NEW YEAR!
> 
> I am so sorry it has taken me so long to update, hit a bit of a brick wall with this fic but I am back and ready to write ;)

“Hi, captain.”

 

Sara glances over her shoulder, “Nate.”

 

“Are you okay?”

 

“I’m fine.” Sara shrugs as she focuses her attention on the cup of coffee she’s making. “Why do you ask? Do I not seem fine?”

 

“I...I…” Nate stumbles over his words as his eyes go wide. “We were talking a-and everyone was saying that you seem sad. I just wanted to come check on you. Well, technically I was _voted_ to come check on you.”

 

“Nate, I’m perfectly fine.” Sara assures him. “So, go tell the team that they can relax. I’m okay. There’s other things we should be focused on.”

 

Nate nods slowly, “Yes, captain.”

 

As soon as he’s gone, her smile falls.

 

-

 

Sara thought it’d be easy.

 

For so long she has always been able to lose herself in missions, but this time is different. This time she has a pregnant wife waiting for her, she has a child who looks at her with so much trust and love. And _that_ is all she can focus on. It distracts her. She just wants to go home, she wants to hold Silver and kiss Alex until she’s breathless; she wants to go back to the life she thought she’d never want.

 

Before Alex, the idea of settling down was a joke. The idea of her becoming a mother wasn’t even a thought. Because how could she? How could someone like her, full of darkness and sharp edges, possibly love someone enough to raise a child with them? But then Alex came along with her soft eyes and a guarded heart, and Sara fell. She fell so hard and she didn’t even bother to look back to make sure Alex was there to catch her. Her teammates used to tease her about how she’d chase after Alex, how she didn’t stand a chance, but now here she is happy as ever.

 

Or as happy as she can be when she’s world’s away from her family.

 

_“Hey, you zoned out.”_

 

Sara blinks as she concentrates on the concerned face of her wife, “Sorry. I was just...thinking. I miss you.”

 

_“I miss you too.”_

 

“So, your first appointment is tomorrow,” Sara smiles, and her heart warms at Alex’s excited nod. “Are you going alone or is Kara tagging along?”

 

_“Actually, I’m going to take Silver. I think it’ll be good for her to see actual evidence of the baby. If you haven’t noticed, we’re raising a child who is skeptical of just about anything.”_

 

“Oh, I’ve noticed.” Sara chuckles. “Promise you’ll text me as soon as the appointment is over? I’ll call you if I can…”

 

_“I’ll text you as soon as I’m in the car.”_

 

Sara tilts her head, “Mind if I say goodnight to little bean?”

 

The smile that lights up Alex’s face causes the anxiety in her chest to simmer. As the phone shifts, Sara swallows hard as she is met with the sight of the barest hint of a baby bump, the barest hint of evidence that she is once again going to become a mother. For a moment, she simply stares and takes it in; she wishes there was a way for her to reach through the screen, to brush her fingertips over Alex’s abdomen before showering it in kisses.

 

“Hi, little bean,” Sara whispers. “Today, your mama went to 1867 to stop someone from changing history. As usual, things went south faster than I would’ve liked but we came out victorious so I’m counting it as another win.”

 

_“It’s cute that you’re telling little bean about this, but when I asked you all you said was that it went perfectly alright.”_

 

“Ugh, there goes mommy butting in,” Sara teases, and a laugh bubbles in her throat as Alex shifts the phone to flash a glare. “I’m kidding, babe. I didn’t want to tell you cause I don’t want you to stress.”

 

_“Sara, you are a million miles away from me jumping through time periods. There’s no way I could be more stressed than I am now.”_

 

“Touché.” Sara sighs. “So, tell me something good.”

 

_“Well, Silver got kicked out of gymnastics…”_

 

Sara gaps, “What? How?”

 

_“She challenged a kid to a backflip contest and apparently he ended up injuring himself. Coach Daniels feels that maybe gymnastics isn’t enough to quell Silver’s competitive side.”_

 

“What?” Sara scoffs. “That’s ridiculous.”

 

_“I agree.”_

 

Sara stares at her wife and smiles, “You’re tired.”

 

_“Yeah, but I miss you…”_

 

“I know, babe.” Sara sighs. “But you need sleep.”

 

_“Promise you’ll text me as soon as you can?”_

 

“You’ll wake up to a million pictures and texts from me, okay? That polaroid camera you packed is coming in handy.” Sara chuckles. “Silver is gonna love all the pictures I’ve taken.”

 

_“All she wants from you is you to come home.”_

 

Sara wishes there was a way to reach through the screen, to brush her fingers over Alex’s cheek in an attempt to soothe her. Anything. She wants to touch her wife, but they’re literally world’s away from each other. With a sigh, Sara watches as Alex climbs into their bed and burrows into a pillow that she knows is hers; it breaks her heart and makes it soar all in one go. God, the things she’d do if she could be with Alex right now.

 

_“Hey...I love you.”_

 

Sara licks her lips and forces a smile, “I love you.”

 

_“Goodnight, Sara.”_

 

“Goodnight, babe.”

 

Sara is left with a blank screen as Alex vanishes and an empty feeling in her stomach.

 

-

 

“Ow.” Sara groans. “ _Ow._ ”

 

“Sorry, Captain.”

 

Sara clenches her jaw as Gideon scans her over once more, “Everything good?”

 

“You have a broken rib.” Gideon replies.

 

“Fix me.” Sara orders.

 

“You have a phone date with your wife and daughter scheduled in five minutes.” Gideon reminds her. “Do you want me to contact Agent Danvers and let her know what’s going on.”

 

“Absolutely not.” Sara scoffs.

 

Sara hisses as she climbs onto the table and waits for Gideon to work her magic while she tries to breathe through the pain. As the gentle hum of her healing sounds, Sara allows herself to drift off. She has two weeks on the ship tucked under her belt and she just wants to go home; being on this ship doesn’t bring her the same joy it once did. It just reminds her of what she is missing out on. It makes her miss Alex’s touch and Silver’s laughter. It makes her long for Kara’s warm presence and Lena’s sarcastic comments. It makes her think about Winn’s expressions of confusion and the way James is always so strong and stoic.

 

It makes her miss her family.

 

As she lays there, she thinks back to Alex’s first pregnancy. She remembers the days of chasing Alex into the bathroom to hold back her hair, she remembers arguing with her over nursery colors, and holding her as she cried over the weight she had put on. She remembers all of it, and this time around she’s missing it. She’s missing out on the nights of laying with her ear against Alex’s swollen abdomen and talking to her growing child. She’s not going to be there for the gender reveal, for the celebratory sex that is supposed to follow it. She’s missing it all, and for what?

 

For chasing criminals through space and time? For injuring herself? For putting her life on the line? It was different when she didn’t have anything to live for, when she didn’t have a wedding band on her finger and a picture of her daughter in her wallet. Now, her every thought is how fast she’ll be able to get back home to the love of her life and children. It’s all so different now. It’s all so unfamiliar, but it’s a good feeling.

 

“Captain, I’m done.”

 

“Thanks, Gideon.” Sara sighs.

 

“Shall I phone your wife?”

 

Sara waves a hand as she sits up, “No. Not tonight. Just...text her that our mission was rough and I fell asleep, I’ll FaceTime them in the morning.”

 

As she slides off the bed, she hears Gideon reply but she can’t make out the words. Everything sounds fuzzy, distant. So, she slips into the gym area and takes out her emotions on the nearest punching bag. She doesn’t bother to wrap her hands, the more pain she feels, the better.

 

-

 

“You okay?”

 

Sara glances up at her team, “Yeah. I just talked to Alex and she looked really pale. And she’s exhausted. I know she’s…”

 

“Pregnant.” Amaya finishes, and Sara glances up with wide eyes. “Like Snart would be able to keep something like that to himself.”

 

“Well, now that you know…”

 

“We’re happy for you, boss.” Nate chirps.

 

“I’m happy for me too.” Sara chuckles as she moves to collapse in a chair with an exhausted sigh. “But it’s hard being so far away, y’know? I should be at home with my family.”

 

“Yes, you should.” Snart hums before he gives a harsh hiss as Amaya slaps the back of his head. “I just confirmed what we’re all thinking. Our captain should be at home with her family.”

 

“Well, fuck.” Sara scoffs as she shakes her head with a bitter scowl. “If _Snart_ is telling me that I need to be home then I really should be.”

 

“So, what’s wrong with Alex?” Ray frowns.

 

“I don’t know.” Sara admits as she rubs tiredly at her brow. “She looks pale, she’s tired, and she threw up a few times during our FaceTime call. Something just feels... _off_.”

 

“Then go home.” Jax laughs.

 

Sara flashes him a quick look, “I promised you guys that I would be here and so I am. Six missions. We’ve only done _six_ missions and I’m complaining about it already.”

 

“I wish I had a wife like yours to go home to.” Nate shrugs, and he’s quick to backtrack as sharp blue eyes dart to him. “I-I just meant she’s pretty and you’re lucky.”

 

“I am. And how do I repay her? I zip off to different time zones.” Sara mumbles. “I don’t know what to do. I just...there’s so much to think about.”

 

“Not really.” Zari hums. “You have two choices...you can stay here and keep your promise or you can go be with the two most important people in your world. Honestly, it’s a no brainer.”

 

“Maybe for you.” Sara huffs.

 

Sara is a little embarrassed by how easily she’s opening up, but then she remembers who she’s talking to. These are the people who have seen her through her worst, who have fought by her side. This is her second family. So, she gives into the emotions that way her down as she sinks in her chair and cups a hand over her face. She can feel the headache throbbing at her temples, and all she wants to do is sleep. But she can’t. Not when she knows she won’t be waking up to Alex’s smile or Silver’s foot in her face.

 

“Boss, we got an eight on the anachronisms map.”

 

Just like that, Sara makes her decision. She doesn’t think twice as she stands to join her team, and she allows the rest of it all to fade away. For now, she has made her decision and that decision lies with her loyalty to this team.

 

-

 

A smile blossoms on Sara’s face as she strips from her uniform while her daughter’s soft voice bounces through the speaker. After their mission, which was tiring yet quite boring, she had immediately sought out her phone and managed to catch Silver before she headed for bed. Now, as she prepared herself for her own night alone, she listens intently to her daughter as she tells her about school, play dough, and all the things she has done to torture Winn in the last few weeks.

 

_“I hit him so hard, Mama.”_

 

Sara laughs as she sets her phone aside, “Did you?”

 

_“Mama, he wasn’t even trying! Mommy was fighting Auntie Kara and I snuck up on him. Guess what I did? Wanna know?”_

 

“Of course.”

 

_“I jumped on his back!”_

 

“That’s my girl.” Sara hums.

 

_“Are you fighting all the bad guys, Mama?”_

 

“Something like that.” Sara chuckles, and she can only imagine Silver’s scowl of disappointment. “How are things at home, bullet? Are you being good for your mommy?”

 

_“Uh huh. Sometimes mommy gets tired and she makes me have two sleeps at Auntie Kara’s. We make cookies and blanket forts, they’re the bestest. Auntie Lena gets arrowtated.”_

 

“I think you meant irritated, kiddo.” Sara says as she lays back on her bed with her phone on her stomach while listening to Silver’s grumbles. “So, why does mom make you go to sleepovers?”

 

_“I told you! She says she’s sleepy, and she needs quiet. I told her I’d be super quiet, but she just says she needs alone time. I think she just needs time to be sad.”_

 

Sara frowns at the words, “Sad?”

 

_“She’s sad. She cries a lot. Auntie Lena says it’s the baby that makes her cry, but I think she’s lying. Babies don’t make you cry. I think she’s crying cause she’s got a broken heart.”_

 

Sara sucks a breath in at the words, “What makes you say that, bullet?”

 

_“Auntie Lena says people cry sometimes because their hearts hurt. She says they cry because their hearts are so full of love that they’re too heavy to carry around. Mama, I think mommy is crying because her heart is too heavy.”_

 

“Maybe you’re right, bullet.” Sara whispers.

 

_“So, you should come home so mommy can be smiley again.”_

 

Sara wishes she could.

 

“Soon, babe. I promise.”

 

-

 

They look so happy.

 

Sara is bundled in a peacoat and beanie while her teammates rush off the ship and into the flurry of a snow storm. Immediately, Snart manages to tackle Mick into a pile of snow while Nate and Amaya begin on a snowman. As she looks them over, she sees Jax standing in the middle of it all with his head tilted back. He looks so carefree, so young. As Sara stares at her teammates, the sudden coldness of the day is replaced with a warmth that spreads through her entire body.

 

She knows she should call them in, tell them that they have other places to be. But she can’t. Because this? This feels a little like how it used to, like they aren’t walking around with the knowledge that all of this will be gone soon. As she watches them, she can’t help but think of Alex. Snow reminds her of that week in Star City. The week it all really began, the week that Sara started the chase that flipped her entire world upside down.

 

_Alex is avoiding her._

 

 _Actually, avoiding is too strong of a word. It’s more like tormenting. It’s been a few hours since they shared a kiss in the falling snow, and Alex has gone out of her way to avoid_ _Sara’s reaching hands. All she wants to do is take the agent somewhere private, but she’s too busy pouting while she watches Kara happily hand Alex a candy cane. Before her, a Christmas movie plays but all she can focus on is Alex as she unwraps her candy cane and slowly wraps her lips around it._

 

 _Like a shot to the gut, Sara feels a spark spread through her as Alex goes about leaning over Kara’s shoulder as they FaceTime their mother. A groan builds low in her throat as Alex runs her tongue up the side of her candy while her nose scrunches with laughter. If it was anybody else,_ _Sara would swear they were doing this on purpose but this is Alex. Awkward and adorable Alex._

 

_“Stare a little harder, boss.” Mick mumbles._

 

_Sara flashes him a glare, “Shut up.”_

 

_“I don’t see why you don’t just go pin the science geek to the wall and show her you have something better to suck than a…”_

 

_“Shut. Up.” Sara growls._

 

_“Just saying.” Mick huffs._

 

 _Sara tries to pay attention_ _to the movie, tries to pretend that she cares about the mindless plot of a baker who finds love with a grumpy businessman. She tries. And fails. Because how is she supposed to concentrate when Alex is giggling? How is she not supposed to watch that smile flash? How is she supposed to keep her gaze from wandering_ _down the length of a body she has memorized? How is she supposed to calm her heart rate when Alex licks some of the sticky substance that had dribbled down the side?_

 

 _How is she supposed to admit she’s jealous of a fucking candy cane?_ _  
_

 

_“You good, boss?” Mick chuckles._

 

 _Sara simply glares as she vaults from the couch and begins to wander through the maze of bodies spread through the living room. As she walks closer to Alex, she sees dark eyes snap to her and widen; Sara knows her own eyes are narrowed, she looks as if she’s hunting down her prey. Quickly, Sara motions for Alex to follow her and she hears Alex throw some excuse her mother’s way before she scurries behind Sara._ _  
_

  
_A grunt is swallowed as Sara shoves Alex against the wall and presses their lips together. A burst of peppermint is the first thing she tastes as she presses a hand against the wall beside Alex’s head while the other plays with the waistband of her jeans. Alex is addicting, that much Sara has realized. And nobody should_ _fault her for taking as much as she can from Alex, she’ll take whatever is offered and be happy with it._

 

_“Your room?” Alex whispers against her lips._

 

 _Sara scoops Alex up easily, “My room.”_   


_After that, it’s a blur of clothes and softened giggles. It’s full of longing, need. Sara presses Alex into the bed and sweeps her far away from the house they’re currently staying in. By the time they’re both sated, the sounds of a loud Christmas movie plays and Sara releases a harsh breath as she falls back into the mattress and curls Alex into her arms. She doesn’t want to let her go, she doesn’t think she can bear it if Alex walks away again._

 

_“You gonna run on me again?”_

 

_Alex laughs softly, “No. Your grip is too tight.”_

 

_“Just an insurance policy.” Sara teases, and Alex simply arches her head up to press a kiss to her chin. “So, now that we got that out of the way...what happens next?”_

 

_“I don’t know.” Alex admits as she settles her head against Sara’s chest. “We still have five days here or at least until Iris and Barry get sick of us all and kick us out. But there’s time for us to figure this out.”_

 

_Sara nods, “Yeah.”_

 

_“For now though,” Alex hums as she reaches down to tangle her fingers with Sara’s. “We should just enjoy what we have here.”_

 

_“I’m down.” Sara shrugs._

 

_The women fall silent as they lay together, and Sara can’t help but appreciate how comfortable she is. Alex doesn’t ask to hold her or even try to, she simply settles in Sara’s embrace without protest. They listen to the laughter just outside the door, and Sara hums in contentment as she feels Alex’s blunt nails circling over a scar._

 

_“For Kara’s first Christmas on Earth, my parents wanted to go all out.” Alex whispers. “Our house was decorated from top to bottom, and my dad hunted down the biggest Christmas tree in all of Midvale. It was huge.”_

 

_Sara laughs softly, “Did Kara like it?”_

 

_“She got so excited when she saw it that she accidentally set it on fire.” Alex sighs. “After that, it kinda became a running joke that Kara was to stay five feet away from the tree while our mom decorated it.”_

 

_“Laurel and I used to fight over who got to put the star on top of our tree.” Sara admits. “We’d argue for days and our parents used to think it was so funny. Eventually, my dad started making us take turns every other year.”_

 

_Alex is silent for a long moment, “Is this hard? Having Christmas without her?”_

 

_“Part of it hurts like a bitch.” Sara nods. “But I’ve learned to move on, to let go. She wouldn’t want me moping around on her favorite holiday. She’d kill me.”_

 

_“So, be here. With me.” Alex whispers._

 

_Sara smiles softly, “I’m not going anywhere, Danvers. Something tells me that this is going to be the best Christmas I’ve had in awhile.”_

 

_“Me too.” Alex yawns, and after a moment she squirms against Sara. “We should go join them before anyone gets suspicious.”_

 

_“Your sister has super hearing…”_

 

_Alex immediately settles, “Oh. Yeah.”_

 

_“So,” Sara chuckles as she curls her arms back around Alex and pulls her closer. “How about we stay right here?”_

 

_“Sounds good to me.”_

 

A laugh from Zari shatters the memory, and Sara leaves herself to be torn apart by the pieces. A slow tear runs down her cheek, Sara leaves them to play in the snow, she needs time alone anyway.

 

-

 

“You’re so _slow_.”

 

Sara growls as she swings her staff, “Shut up.”

 

“I’d tell you to make me, but you seem to be lagging a bit behind.”

 

The fire erupts deep in her gut as she glares at the current cocky son of a bitch she is fighting. The guy can’t be much older than Kara, and Sara wants nothing more than to wipe his slimey smirk off his face. They’ve traveled back to 1964 to stop him and his little band of misfits from causing mischievous and she’s growing tired of trying to corner him. With a hiss, Sara slides along her knees to hit her staff against his calf and he gives a cry of surprise as he stumbles forward.

 

“You’re an annoying little shit.” Sara hisses.

 

“But I’m oh so fun.” The man purrs.

 

Sara laughs as she swings her arm, “I do enjoy a good chase.”

 

“You know,” The man sighs as he ducks her swing and manages to slide from the corner. “You’re kinda hot. You sure we can’t work out this tension some other way?”

 

“I don’t think my wife would like that.” Sara scoffs.

 

“Wife? Oh. Well, she can come too.”

 

Sara halts and she sees a flash of fear spark in the young man’s gaze, “You just signed your death warrant, kid. No one, and I truly mean _no one_ , disrespects my wife.”

 

“I-I was only joking…”

 

Sara puts her entire weight into her next punch, and she feels a sense of satisfaction as it collides with his jaw and sends him tumbling backwards. The energy between them buzzes as they trade hits and somewhere along the way she loses her staff, but that doesn’t stop her from kneeing him in the stomach and carelessly tossing him aside. It’s people like him, the immature fools, that have kept her from returning home to her family. So, she takes that pent up rage and uses it on him.

 

_“Uh, cap?”_

 

Sara huffs out a breath, “What, Ray?”

 

_“Seems like the DEO has hacked our system, they’re linked into our coms…”_

 

“Tell Alex it’s going to be a little bit.” Sara grumbles as she sweeps the man’s legs from beneath him. “I just need ten more minutes.”

 

_“It’s uh not Alex…”_

 

“Then who is it?” Sara demands.

 

_“Supergirl.”_

 

“Patch her in, Ray.” Sara orders, and she rolls her eyes as the static sounds before Kara comes through loud and clear. “Right now isn’t the best time, Kara.”

 

Sara grunts in annoyance as Kara begins to jabber on, and she manages to catch just about every other word as she dodges fists and kicks. Just as she goes to deliver a painful blow, Kara’s sob causes her to falter and she feels her heart plummet at the next words that come from her sister-in-law’s mouth. Just like that, everything goes quiet as her arms drop weakly to her side and her knees quake.

 

“She... _what_?”

 

Sara barely hears Ray shout before she feels a fist collide with her face and as the darkness surrounds her, all she can hear is Kara’s words repeating over and over in her head. Alex is in the hospital. Alex collapsed. Alex needs her. With those thoughts, Sara fades away.


	5. in the middle of a memory

“Where is she?”

 

Lena jumps up from her seat, “Sara.”

 

“Where is she?” Sara repeats as she looks around the hospital as if Alex will appear. “What’s going on, Lena? What happened?”

 

“We were shopping, she...she started bleeding and then she collapsed.” Lena explains as her eyes fill with tears. “Kara didn’t even hesitate to fly her here, she’s been with the doctor ever since.”

 

Sara clenches her jaw, “Why was she  _shopping?_ ”

 

“She’s been so off, so tired.” Lena sighs as she runs a hand through her dark locks. “Kara and I thought maybe getting her out of the house for the afternoon would cheer her up.”

 

“A lot of good that did.” Sara snaps. “Where’s Silver?”

 

“Lucy offered to watch her.”

 

“I need to find my wife.” Sara mumbles.

 

Sara doesn’t bother to say anything more to Lena, she knows she’s being harsh but she can’t find it in herself to care. Waking up on the Waverider with her frantic teammates surrounding her, Sara’s only thought had been getting home to Alex. And now? Now she doesn’t even know what she’s walking into. As she walks along the hallway she sees a couple share a soft kiss, the love clear on their face, and Sara can’t help but burn with envy. She wonders if they know, if they know that a simple kiss can turn their world completely upside down.

 

Sara sure as hell didn’t.

 

_“You’re mad.”_

 

 _Alex scoffs as she glances over her shoulder, “What gave you_ **_that_ ** _idea?”_

 

_“Alex…”_

 

_“Why are you doing this?” Alex demands as she turns on her heels. “You have your own team, your own world. So, why are you uprooting all of that to settle here at the DEO?”_

 

 _“Because if we’re going to make this, make_ _us_ ,  _work then I can’t be going to another time while you stay here on this Earth.” Sara shrugs. “I have to be **here**_ _. I have to be around or we’ll fall apart.”_

 

_“What part of this is just physical don’t you understand?” Alex snaps. “There isn’t an us, Sara. We can’t be an us.”_

 

_“Because you won’t let it happen.” Sara shrugs. “I won’t push you, Alex. I won’t force this. I just think that if you gave this a chance that you could be happy. We could be happy.”_

 

_Alex shakes her head, “I can’t.”_

 

_“Alex, will you do something for me?” Sara asks, and Alex only hesitates for a moment before she gives a nod. “Put everything else in your head aside and just answer one question for me, okay? Do I make you happy?”_

 

_“Yes.” Alex whispers with a blush. “I’m not ready…”_

 

 _“Okay. That’s fine. Like I said, I won’t try to force this. We can move at whatever pace you set.” Sara assures her. “But don’t throw a source of your happiness away. Don’t throw the idea of_ **_this_ ** _away. Let’s just start over. Friends?”_

 

_Alex glances hesitantly to the hand that Sara extends her and she finally grasps onto it with a small smile, “Friends.”_

 

_-_

 

_“Hey, Danvers. Wake up.”_

 

_Alex groans as she flutters her eyes open, the darkness fills the room as she struggles to sit up on her bed. A yawn tears from her as she rubs at her eyes and looks to where Sara is standing at the end of her bed with an excited smile. Alex is full of grumbles as she pushes herself onto her elbows and arches an eyebrow at the woman who looks way too awake at this late hour._

 

_“Are you okay?”_

 

_Sara nods, “It’s snowing.”_

 

_“Huh?” Alex scoffs._

 

_“It’s snowing.” Sara repeats. “Get up.”_

 

_“What are you talking about? Iris and Barry said there was no snow in the forecast for the week.” Alex frowns as she tosses her covers off her body._

 

_“Well, it is so…”_

 

_Alex huffs out an annoyed breath, “Show me.”_

 

 _With a roll of her eyes, Sara crosses the room to throw open a curtain and Alex gaps in awe at the fluffy of white the rains from the sky. With wide eyes, Alex stumbles out of bed and grabs the first pair of jeans and jacket she can find. Nobody knows it, but snow is her weakness. She loves it. It reminds her of being a toddler and having her father carry her up the tallest hills only to sled back down. It reminds her of dancing to Jingle Bell Rock with her mother while they made cookies. It reminds her off late nights cuddled between her parents while a Christmas movie plays, it reminds her of **home**_ _._ _  
_

 

_  
_ _“You gonna come out with me, Danvers?”_

 

_“Like you could stop me.”_

 

_The pair tiptoe quietly through the house that is full of slumbering heroes. After leaping over a snoring Mick and barely avoiding stepping on Cisco’s hand, the pair fumble out into the backyard. The snow is falling quickly by the time they step out onto the white blanketed ground, and the wind swirls their hair around as they quake with cold. For a moment, Sara watches as Alex turns in slow circles with her head tipped back and her mouth opened; something hits her, square in the chest, and she realizes that she can’t live without this woman._

 

_Sara smiles as Alex turns to her with a breathless smile and wind kissed cheeks, “So, did you catch any snowflakes?”_

 

_“Maybe.” Alex shrugs._

 

_“You’re adorable, Danvers.” Sara sighs as she steps forward to sweep a hand through snow filled messy brown hair._

 

_“I thought you didn’t like the snow…”_

 

_Sara tilts her head, “Changed my mind.”_

 

_“At two in the morning?” Alex smirks._

 

_“At two in the morning.”_

 

_“I’m glad.” Alex grins._

 

_“Fuck.” Sara breathes out, Alex barely hears it above the swirling winds but she looks to Sara in confusion. “You’re so beautiful.”_

 

_Alex gaps for a moment, “So are you.”_

 

_Sara suddenly doesn’t care about anything other than the way Alex looks with wind colored cheeks and reddening lips. All she cares about is how soft Alex’s jacket is as she yanks her forward and presses their lips together. It’s so cold, but Alex’s hands are on her hips and her lips are turned up in a smile and that’s enough for Sara. Suddenly, snow doesn’t seem so bad._

 

 _And maybe it’s stupid for them to be sharing their first_ **_real_ ** _kiss in the backyard of the West-Allen house, but she doesn’t care. All she cares about is the way Alex brushes her hands over her cheeks and makes a soft noise against her lips. All she can focus on is the softness of Alex’s hair as she buries her fingers in it and draws Alex closer; the closer she is, the better._

 

_Alex whimpers as she pulls away, “What was that?”_

 

_“Me telling you what you already know.” Sara whispers as she rests their foreheads together. “I want to be with you, Alex. I want to...I want us to work. And I know that you said you’re not ready, but I just want to know if there’s a chance.”_

 

_“There’s a chance.” Alex nods. “Definitely.”_

 

_Sara laughs as she pulls Alex close, “I think I have a new appreciation for snow.”_

_“Me too.”_

 

_As they stand out in the backyard, snow falling around them and a new day beginning, both women feel that familiar tether. And finally, after so much time, Alex gives in and allows those lines to be tied safely together; she just prays that they’ll never have to part again._

 

_-_

 

_“You’re an **idiot**_ _, Danvers.”_

 

_Alex chokes on a laugh, “Thanks.”_

 

_“No, you really and truly are.” Sara snaps._

 

 _Sara stands in the doorway of the medbay and stares at the woman laid out in the hospital bed. They’ve been through every up and down (two breakups, arguments, and desperate lines crossed) but Sara thinks this one is the lowest they can get. Because Alex is laying in bed with a gunshot wound to her right side and Sara is standing there with a helpless expression and the knowledge that the bullet shot was meant for her. It is supposed to be_ **_her_ ** _laying in this hospital bed, it’s supposed to be_ **_her_ ** _but it’s not._

 

_“You are the most stubborn woman I have ever met, Alex.” Sara growls. “You’re impulsive, you’re an adrenaline junkie, you’re indecisive, and sometimes you can be a real ass.”_

 

_Alex struggles to sit up, “Thanks.”_

 

 _“Is that all you can say?” Sara scoffs. “You took a literal bullet for me, Alex. You jumped in front of a_ **_bullet_ ** _and now you’re lying in a hospital bed after an emergency surgery.”_

 

_“What can I say? Chicks dig scars.” Alex smirks._

 

_“This chick would prefer if my girlfriend wasn’t riddled with them, alright? God, Alex. Don’t you realize how scared I was?” Sara demands. “Do you realize how terrifying it was to see you bleeding out in front of me?”_

 

 _“You don’t think_ **_I_ ** _was scared?” Alex frowns._

 

_Sara blows out a breath, “I know. You were shot…”_

 

_“That isn’t why I was scared.” Alex cuts in. “I was scared because some guy pointed a gun at the woman I love and pulled the trigger. Do you know what I saw flashing before my eyes in that moment? All I could see was the times I hurt you.”_

 

_Sara is silent with shock on her face as Alex lays in bed with tears in her eyes. Of course they’ve been through it all, they both knew that this relationship wasn’t going to be easy but they didn’t expect this. Sara didn’t expect to be chasing so hard, but she did. Because she loves Alex, she has loved her since the day she came pouring through a portal three weeks after the failed West-Allen wedding and begged Sara to make her feel something. But Alex? Alex is scared, terrified for feeling the same pain she did when Maggie broke her heart._

 

_“Sara, I couldn’t lose you. The shot he had? It was a kill shot.” Alex breathes out. “You would have died and you never would’ve known how I felt about you. How...How much I love you.”_

 

_“So, you decided to tell me in the form of taking a bullet to the gut?” Sara frowns. “You couldn’t have just told me that over breakfast? Or laying in bed one night?”_

 

_“Sara, I don’t half-ass anything.” Alex shrugs. “I once told Kara that the DEO needed to be evacuated and when I made my escape, I jumped off the balcony.”_

 

_“You’re dramatic.” Sara huffs, but her expression softens as she slowly walks into the room. “But I love you, every part of your dramatic self.”_

 

_Alex offers her hand, “I’m sorry.”_

 

_“Don’t be.” Sara sighs as she accepts the offered limb and allows herself to be pulled forward. “Just no more gun shots, alright? I didn’t fight for you for this long just to lose you to a fucking gunshot wound.”_

 

_“I’m not going anywhere.” Alex assures her._

 

_Sara presses a kiss to her forehead, “Promise?”_

 

_“I promise.”_

 

_-_

 

_The sound of her heartbeat seems louder than she has ever heard, and her gaze is firmly planted on the ceiling above her. With a hard sigh, Alex folds her hands on her stomach and taps a small beat. She’s bored. Plain and simple. Sara decided to crash at her place and the two had spent hours wearing each other out, but Sara was the first to drift off into a peaceful sleep._

 

_A smile crosses Alex’s face as she turns her head to admire her girlfriend’s sleeping features before she shifts to trace a defined eyebrow. Sara twitches her nose as she turns her head ever so slightly, but Alex simply chuckles and rolls onto her sure to prop her head in her hand while she continues to drag her soft nails along Sara’s features. After a minute, Sara lifts her head with her eyes half open before she drops back into her pillow with a groan._

 

_“Hi.” Alex whispers._

 

_Sara scrunches her nose, “Hey’ya.”_

 

_“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you up…”_

 

_“No. It’s cool. It’s okay. I was awake anyway.” Sara assures her with a lazy smile as she rubs tiredly at her eyes. “What are you doing up?”_

 

_“I couldn’t sleep.” Alex sighs as she sinks down the mattress so she can tuck herself comfortably under Sara’s chin. “I’m sorry, babe. I really didn’t mean to wake you up.”_

 

_“It’s okay.” Sara yawns._

 

_Alex watches her and bites her lip, “I was doing some thinking though…”_

 

_“Uh oh. Sounds dangerous.”_

 

_“Whatever.” Alex scoffs._

 

_Sara chuckles as she glances down at the woman on her chest, “So, what has got that beautiful brain of yours awake all night?”_

 

_“You spend a lot of time here. Honestly, you’re here more than your own apartment.” Alex frowns. “You have your own drawer.”_

 

_“Uh huh.” Sara hums._

 

_“It’s kind of stupid for you to keep paying rent for an apartment you don’t really use.” Alex shrugs. “So, I was wondering if you wanted to move in with me. That way you can have a drawer and closet space.”_

 

_Sara tenses for a moment, “You want me to move in?”_

 

_“I do.” Alex nods._

 

_“And you decided this at four in the morning on a Sunday?” Sara asks in a slow tone. “You sure you’re not just sleep deprived?”_

 

_“No. I’m not. I promise.” Alex giggles._

 

_Sara blinks sleepily, “I’d love to move in with you, Danvers.”_

 

_“Yeah?”_

 

_“Yeah.”_

 

_“Okay. Well, that’s good.” Alex chirps, and a soft chuckle leaves her as she sees Sara’s eyes slowly droop. “Go back to sleep.”_

 

_Sara smothers a yawn and shakes her head, “No. I’m good. I’m awake. We need to talk about this whole moving in thing.”_

 

_“Babe, we can talk about it in the morning.” Alex assures her as she scratches slightly at Sara’s bare abdomen. “Go back to sleep, we’ll talk all about hers and hers sinks tomorrow.”_

 

_“M’kay.”_

 

_Alex watches as Sara falls back into her pillow and drifts off; as she lays there with her ear pressed to Sara’s chest and listening to the steady thrum of her girlfriend’s heartbeat, Alex gives into her exhaustion and falls asleep to her own personal love song._

 

_-_

 

_“Why do you two have so much stuff?” Winn whines._

 

_Alex rolls her eyes as she watches the man struggle to haul a box into his arms before he fumbles up the walkway to the waiting house. After a year of dating, Alex finally asked Sara to move in; the only catch was that they both wanted a house. And that is what they had. In the heart of National City, just ten minutes away from Lena and Kara’s penthouse, the couple found a brick two story house with a red front door and a golden doorknob._

 

_“Tell me why…” James grunts as he helps Nate lift the end of a dresser. “These two decided it would be a great idea to buy such a gigantic house when it’s only the two of them.”_

 

_“You’re asking the real questions.” Nate chuckles._

 

_“What are you looking for?” Alex asks as she steps over rolled rugs and towards a scowling Sara. “Babe, you’ve been standing in this moving truck for the last ten minutes.”_

 

_“I’m trying to remember which box has my gun, throwing stars, and staff in it.” Sara admits with a long, annoyed sigh. “I want to make sure I’m the one who moves it, I don’t want Winn to accidentally kill himself trying to carry it.”_

 

_“Sara, it’ll be fine.” Alex laughs, but the woman simply huffs and sinks into her girlfriend. “We asked our friends to help us so we could avoid any of our stuff getting damaged, remember?”_

 

 _“Have you met my team? They’re like toddlers. They’re bound to drop something.” Sara scoffs as she roams her eyes over the stacked boxes. “I know everybody is tired and pissed so I wouldn’t doubt it if someone just_ **_accidentally_ ** _dropped something.”_

 

_“Look, as long as Nate and Winn don’t get their hands on it then I assure you all our stuff will be perfectly alright.” Alex soothes with a quick kiss to Sara’s shoulder. “Now, come on. We’re just about finished anyway.”_

 

_With a pout of disapproval, Sara grabs a random box and hurries to follow her girlfriend into their house. Immediately, they’re met with the sight of their friends shuffling around while Lena attempts to keep things organized. Alex bites her lip to hold in her laugh as she sees Mick peek into a box only for Amaya to slap him upside the head and jerk it out of his reach._

 

_“Where do you guys want your guns?”_

 

_Sara turns and drops her box with a wince as she hears something shatter, “Give me those before you put an eye out, Witt.”_

 

_“Babe, just put the box in the training room.” Alex orders as she squats down to open the box where she is met with shattered glass. “Let Ray help you carry everything else.”_

 

_“I think I’ve got this.” Sara scoffs._

 

_“You’re going to be really pissed if you drop something.” Alex warns. “Kinda like how pissed I am that you just shattered three of our vases and six China glass plates.”_

 

_“Sorry, baby.” Sara mumbles._

 

_“You can make it up to me by going with me to Maple Craft next weekend and shopping for more vases.” Alex shrugs as she scoops up the box. “I need your help in the kitchen so don’t take too long showing off the training room.”_

 

_“Fine.” Sara pouts._

 

_Ray snickers and shakes his head, “So whipped.”_

 

_“Shut up.” Sara grumbles._

 

_-_

 

_“Krypto is really cute.”_

 

_Sara puffs out her cheeks as she watches Alex narrow her eyes at her phone. With a slight pout, Sara crawls onto the bed and watches the woman before her with a curious expression. She has been going over this speech in her head since the moment she met Lena and Kara’s sweet little Golden Retriever. She wants a dog, growing up she had the best companion in her family German Shepherd and she missed that. She always swore to herself that she would get a puppy the moment she planted her roots somewhere._

 

_“He liked me. We’re best friends now.”_

 

_“He’s a puppy, Sara.” Alex reminds her as she types out a quick text to Lucy. “I’m sure you’ll be best friends with every puppy you meet.”_

 

_“You think?” Sara smirks, and she is quick to crawl closer to her girlfriend. “I was thinking...we should get our own puppy.”_

 

_“We have a pet. Her name is Kara.” Alex reminds her as she nods to the photo encased on her bedside table. “We’re barely ever home, we don’t have time for a puppy.”_

 

_“Come on, babe.” Sara sighs as she straddles Alex’s lap and plucks her phone from her hands. “Don’t you want a dog? They’re so cute.”_

 

_Alex rolls her eyes as she squeezes Sara’s hips, “I know they are, but we really don’t have time for one right now.”_

 

_“What if we got a dog to keep at the DEO? We’ll all take care of it.” Sara grins. “Winn will love him and Kara will be on board with helping out, and at night we’ll just take it home.”_

 

_“There is no way J’onn would allow that.” Alex scoffs, and Sara narrows her eyes as she tosses Alex’s phone aside. “Hey!”_

 

_“I want a dog.” Sara whispers as she leans forward to press soft kisses along Alex’s jawline. “What do you say?”_

 

_“We can get a fish.” Alex suggests._

 

_“I don’t want a fish.” Sara chuckles as she sits back on Alex’s hips with a slight pout. “I want a German Shepherd, but if that’s too big then I’ll settle for a French Bulldog.”_

 

_“You are impossible.” Alex smiles with a buck of her hips before she rolls over to hover above Sara. “We can look into it, alright?”_

 

_Sara grins happily, “I love you.”_

 

_Alex presses their lips together, “I love you, too.”_

 

_-_

 

_“Well, this is kinda cute.”_

 

_Sara turns her head and sees Alex holding up a purple onesie with glitter flowers on the front. The pair are currently shopping for a coworker’s baby shower and Sara can see the wheels that turn over and over in Alex’s head as she looks through tiny outfits. Both women know the baby is going to be spoiled beyond belief so they’re trying to shy away from the baby clothes and toys, they’re trying to settle for something a little more practical._

 

_“What happened to no clothes?” Sara smirks._

 

_Alex huffs as she folds the onesie, “Fine.”_

 

_“Practical, babe. We’re looking for diapers and rattles.” Sara reminds her. “Save all the cute outfit shopping for when we have our own kid.”_

 

_“What?”_

 

_“Huh?”_

 

 _“_ ** _Our_ ** _kid? You want kids?” Alex demands._

 

_Sara pauses with wide eyes, “You don’t?”_

 

_“I do! I just thought…”_

 

_“Babe, I want kids.” Sara whispers as she approaches Alex with a soft smile. “I wouldn’t have pursued this relationship if I didn’t. I want a future with you, Alex. So, I fully expect that future to include a ton of mini Danvers kids.”_

 

_“You really mean that?” Alex murmurs._

 

_Sara cups Alex’s face, “Yes. Of course I do.”_

 

_“So, you want kids?” Alex asks in a slow tone, and Sara rolls her eyes with a nod. “You want to have kids with me?”_

 

_“Yes, I want to have kids with you.” Sara chuckles, and she can’t help but press a lingering kiss to Alex’s smile. “You and I are gonna be the most badass moms around, okay?”_

 

_“Okay.” Alex grins as she closes her eyes and falls into Sara. “I am so glad you came into my life, Sara. I’m so glad I have you.”_

 

_Sara grins as she drops a kiss to Alex’s head, “I’m glad you have me too, Danvers.”_

 

_-_

 

**_Sara: what time are you coming home again??_ **

 

**_Alex: I just pulled up to the house._ **

 

_Alex glances up in time to see her girlfriend spill onto the porch with wide eyes and a panicked expression. With a heavy sigh, Alex turns off the car and reaches to grab her purse from the passenger seat. The door dings loudly as she slides from the car before she slams it shut and hesitantly moves up the porch steps to where Sara waits._

 

_“Why are you home so early?” Sara demands._

 

_“Uh, there wasn’t much I could do back at the DEO. Slow day of crime.” Alex explains in a slow tone as she approaches Sara. “So, do you mind moving aside so I can go inside?”_

 

_“Actually, I do mind.” Sara nods, and Alex tilts her head as she watches the woman lean back against the doorknob. “Look, I made a mess and I didn’t get a chance to clean up.”_

 

_“Okay? This isn’t the first time I’ve had to walk into one of your messes, babe.” Alex snorts as she makes a move forward only for Sara to flatten herself against the door. “Sara, move. I want to take a shower.”_

 

_“Um. No.”_

 

_Alex opens her mouth to protest only for Sara to slip inside and slam the door. A wave of annoyance washes over Alex as she digs her keys free of her purse and grumbles under her breath. Just as her hands reach out to the lock, a hand shot out from inside and swiped the keys before the door is once again slammed in her face._

 

_“Sara Lance!” Alex snaps as she smacks her hand against the door. “Open this door right now or so help me God.”_

 

_Silence is her only answer and Alex settles with growling as she fires a quick kick at the door. The minutes tick by as she stands on the porch with a scowl on her face and her arms crossed over her chest. After ten minutes, the lock twists and the door slowly opens to reveal a sheepish Sara. Alex immediately brushes forward as her arms drop and she shoves her way gently into the house._

 

_“That was so rude. What if I would’ve had to pee? I didn’t even have my car keys.” Alex grumbles as she strips from her leather jacket. “What kind of girlfriend locks her girlfriend out?”_

 

_Sara arches an eyebrow in acknowledgment to her complaint before she turns to walk away. With an amused smile, Sara continues to listen to Alex complain as she subtly begins to lead her into the living room. As soon as Alex storms into the room, the words catch in her throat as she takes in the sight before her; the living room is full of candles and roses while soft jazz plays._

 

_“Sara…”_

 

_“It’s almost impossible to light a hundred candles so I just needed a few extra minutes.” Sara smiles as she stands in the center of the living room with her head tilted. “Do you like it?”_

 

_“It’s beautiful, baby.” Alex whispers. “What is this for?”_

 

_“Because I wanted to.”_

 

_“Because you wanted to?” Alex repeats with a laugh as she allows her purse to fall with a thud. “So, you just decided to do something romantic just because you felt like it?”_

 

_“Yeah.” Sara shrugs. “Is that bad?”_

 

_“No. Just a little unexpected.” Alex admits, her hands curl around Sara’s hips as she tugs her forward for a gentle kiss. “I just know you’re not into doing all this crazy romantic stuff.”_

 

_“Well, sometimes I just want to do nice things for you.” Sara replies as she brushes a strand of hair from Alex’s eyes. “Your life can get pretty crazy, Danvers. You deserve romance every now and then, alright?”_

 

_“I love you.” Alex sighs, but her eyes narrow when Sara doesn’t immediately repeat the words. “Now, are you going to tell me why you’re being so weird? Well, weirder than usual.”_

 

_“What? I don’t know what you’re talking about…”_

 

_“Sara, we’ve been dating for two years,” Alex reminds her with a smirk. “I know when you’re being weird and right now is one of those times. So, once again, what’s going on?”_

 

_“It sucks dating an agent sometimes.” Sara grumbles. “Kara gave me a list of things I was supposed to follow and you’re not even letting me do it the right way.”_

 

_“Kara?” Alex frowns._

 

 _“Yup. Your sister.” Sara sighs. “I went through all this trouble of making_ **_homemade_ ** _sushi cause it’s what we had on our first date and I thought it’d be romantic but you and your impatient ways…”_

 

_“Hey, I am not impatient!” Alex laughs._

 

_“Alright, alright. Just...first of all, I want you to know I love you.” Sara begins. “And I’m not great with speeches or being particularly sentimental so I think I’m gonna um just y’know get down to it.”_

 

_Sara nervously clears her throat as she catches sight of Alex’s wide, wondering eyes. She can feel the nerves swell in her stomach as she lowers herself to one knee and she smiles softly as Alex gasps in shock. With practiced ease, Sara pulls a red velvet box from her jacket pocket before the lid cracks open to reveal the diamond band._

 

_“Alexandra Danvers,” Sara whispers as she looks up at Alex with wide, hopeful eyes. “Will you marry me?”_

 

 _Alex blinks in shock, “Yes. **Yes**_ _. Yes, I’ll marry you.”_

 

_Sara breathes a sigh of relief as she drops her head for a moment and reaches out to take Alex’s hand. It takes her a moment to realize she hasn’t pulled the ring free, and Alex simply giggles as she watches Sara struggle for a beat. Finally, Sara glides the ring up Alex’s finger and stands to watch the candlelight dance in the row of diamonds._

 

_“You sure about this, Danvers?” Sara asks._

 

_Alex pulls Sara to her feet and presses their lips together in a lingering kiss, “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”_

 

The second Sara sees Alex, her heart shatters. Her strong wife is broken as she lays in the hospital bed attached to wires and looking terrified. Sara doesn’t hesitate to climb onto the bed and wrap her arms safely around Alex, as if somehow this embrace will keep her safe from what is happening around them. With a whimper, Alex turns in Sara’s arms and her wires tangle around the woman as she presses herself closer to her wife and allows her first sob to slip from her dry lips.

 

“It’s okay, babe. I’ve got you. I’m here.” Sara assures her as tears begin to burn in her eyes. “It’s okay, Alex. I promise, it’s going to be okay.”

 

“I-I was _bleeding_ , Sara. I did something, this has to be my fault.” Alex whispers as she clutches at the leather of Sara’s jacket. “I had to have done something to cause this.”

 

“Hey, look at me.” Sara orders and she has to swallow hard around the lump in her throat as dark eyes meet hers. “Listen to me, Alex. Are you listening to me?”

 

Alex nods, “I am.”

  
“This was _not_ your fault, things like this happen sometimes. But we’re going to get through this, alright?” Sara whispers as she buries her face in Alex’s hair. “You and me, Alex. You and me against the world, right?”

 

“You and me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This is a filler chapter, a look into Sara and Alex before Silver...the good stuff is coming up next ;)


	6. something's gotta give

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Somehow this chapter went from 3k works to 6k...oops!

“Mommy is up!”

 

Alex sighs in annoyance, “Silver, why?”

 

“Alexandra Lance.” Sara snaps as she rounds the corner with a glare. “What part of bed rest is confusing for you?”

 

“The part that involves me being tied down to this couch all day or laying in bed doing  _nothing._ ” Alex replies. “This is ridiculous, Sara. I can’t spend the next five months like this.”

 

“Alex, you have preeclampsia. This is serious. I know you hate being cooped up, but this is something that we can’t mess with.” Sara reminds her. “You have to be careful. For our kid.”

 

“I know, Sara.” Alex grumbles.

 

Sara watches as Alex falls back on the couch, “It won’t be like this forever, babe. This pregnancy is just...different.”

 

“I should be at work. What if Kara needs me? What if something happens and I’m not there to help Winn? What if they need me in the lab?” Alex demands with a slight pout. “There’s a thousand things I should be doing.”

 

“Yeah, but you’re not doing them.” Sara shrugs, and Alex simply flashes her a glare. “It’s not the end of the world, babe.”

 

“I’m _bored_.” Alex whines.

 

“There’s a million things you could do.” Sara points out. “You have case files to look over, books to read, a PS4, and your phone. Why don’t you invite Kara and Lena over?”

 

“You sound like you’re talking to a teenager who has run out of ideas on how to entertain themselves for the summer.” Alex mumbles. “I don’t see why I can’t walk around.”

 

“Because the baby.” Silver chirps.

 

Alex glances to where her daughter is transfixed on an episode of Sesame Street, “And who asked _you_ for your opinion, missy?”

 

“Nobody.” Silver sighs as she turns to look between Alex and Sara. “But I’m trying to watch Elmo and you guys are too loud.”

 

“Hear that, babe?” Sara chuckles. “We’re too loud.”

 

“I did hear that. It’s funny because I remember _someone_ was up at an ungodly hour this morning making all kinds of noise.” Alex smirks, and Silver flushes in response. “We’ll quiet down, bullet. Enjoy your show.”

 

“And while she enjoys her show, you can have another glass of water. You’ve only had four today, and you’re supposed to at least have eight.” Sara smiles. “I’m gonna go grab you some.”

 

“Sara, I’m going to wet my pants.” Alex warns, and her wife softens as she reaches for her. “At least lemme go to the bathroom before you drown me with more water.”

 

Sara reaches a hand out, “Come here, baby.”

 

Alex hums happily as Sara helps her stand and pulls her into a soft kiss. It has only been a week since Alex was released from the hospital, and Sara has spent every second watching her closely. Now that they knew Alex’s pregnancy is high risk, Sara doesn’t want to take any chances. She refuses to risk the lives of her wife and child; if that meant bothering Alex about stupid stuff then Sara is more than happy to do it.

 

“I can walk myself.” Alex assures her.

 

Sara shakes her head, “Nope. Come on.”

 

“I assume you’re going to wait outside the bathroom for me.” Alex sighs, and Sara simply flashes her a wink. “This is getting out of control, Sara. I’m not incapable of taking care of myself.”

 

“I know that, Alex,” Sara whispers as they pause outside the downstairs bathroom. “I just promised to protect you, remember? It was in my vows, and it was a promise I made you after Silver was born. I’m not going back on it now.”

 

“Hey, the baby and I are going to be fine.” Alex coos as she lifts Sara’s chin. “We’re all going to be okay. So, you don’t have to hover.”

 

“Can’t help it.” Sara mumbles.

 

Alex smiles into a kiss, “We’re going to be fine.”

 

“I just want my wife and son in one piece once these nine months end.” Sara huffs. “Can you blame me? I do believe you promised me a happy ever after, and that includes _you_.”

 

“Son?” Alex smirks.

 

“Is _that_ all you got out of what I said?” Sara chuckles, and she rolls her eyes when Alex simply beams. “I already told you that I want a boy, and I can feel it in my gut that little Lance is a boy.”

 

“Four weeks and then we get to find out.” Alex reminds her. “Lena thinks it’s a boy because I’m bigger than I was with Silver, but I read that it’s common for the second pregnancy.”

 

“Uh, yeah. I think I read that in one of the books you left in my bag.” Sara nods as she scrunches her nose and presses a hand to Alex’s bump. “I’m just glad my son has all the growing room he needs.”

 

Alex grabs Sara’s hand to move it to where a small bump rolls across her palm, “He _or_ she has all the room they need to do as many summersaults as they want. Especially when I’m sleeping.”

 

Sara leans down to glare at the bump, “Let your mom sleep, dude.”

 

“Mama!”

 

“Duty calls.” Sara sighs as she stands and glances over her shoulder. “I’ll go take care of Silver, you go to the bathroom. After that, back to the couch for the rest of the night.”

 

Alex groans, “Why?”

 

“Because I said so, beautiful. Do I have to tie you down or something?” Sara teases, and a smirk pulls at her lips as Alex perks up. “Get your head out of the gutter, I didn’t mean like  _that._ ”

 

“Fine.”

 

Sara begins to back away, “That comes later, Mrs. Lance.”

 

“Is that a promise?” Alex purrs.

 

“You better believe it.”

 

-

 

Sara is pissed. Actually, she is so far beyond that she can’t even find a word to describe how she’s feeling. She has spent the last hour and a half arguing with Agent Sharpe and the rest of the Time Bureau, and she unfortunately lost the battle. They’re forcing her back onto the ship, forcing her to rip herself away from her family once more. The anger thrums through her as she storms into Kara and Lena’s penthouse and finds them cuddling on the couch still dressed in pajamas.

 

“Sara?” Kara frowns as she glances over the back of the couch. “What are you doing here? Is it Alex? Is she okay?”

 

“She’s fine. I just need to talk to you guys and I don’t have a lot of time.” Sara sighs, and she watches as both women stand slowly to face her. “I need one of you to stay with Alex until I get back.”

 

Lena tilts her head, “From where?”

 

“From wherever the latest time anachronism my team has created. The bureau has been on my back all morning, the guys are on their way to pick me up right now.” Sara explains. “I have to double back home and pack.”

 

“You’re going back?” Kara gaps.

 

Sara nods reluctantly, “They need me.”

 

“ _Alex_ needs you.” Kara scoffs.

 

“You don’t think I know that?” Sara snaps as her gaze narrows. “You think I _want_ to leave her? You don’t think I’m not absolutely terrified that something is going to happen? This isn’t what I want, but this is my responsibility. I don’t have a choice.”

 

“There’s always a choice!” Kara argues.

 

“Oh, and is it your _choice_ to go after whatever alien decides to destroy the city?” Sara sneers. “No, it’s your responsibility. You vowed to protect this town and I vowed to take care of my team.”

 

Kara glares and tilts her chin up, “You also vowed yourself to my sister.”

 

“That’s enough, darling.” Lena soothes as she presses a hand to Kara’s lower back. “Arguing like this isn’t going to change anything. We need to be focusing on Alex and Silver. Sara, what do you need us to do?”

 

Sara rubs tiredly at her forehead, “I just...can the girls stay with you? Alex is on strict bed rest and someone needs to keep an eye on Silver. I’d ask Lucy, but she’s heading back to Metropolis for business.”

 

“Of course. They’re always welcome. I’ll have Jess contact Silver’s daycare, maybe it’d be best to change her one o'clock release to three o’clock.” Lena suggests with a firm nod. “That way I can be in the office for a while and then I’ll leave to pick her up. Kara can take her to school in the morning and work from home so she can stay with Alex.”

 

Kara watches Lena with adoring eyes as her wife scurries off, “You don’t have to worry, Lena will have everything organized and ready before you even leave this Earth.”

 

“I knew I could count on her.” Sara nods, and she drops her head as a heavy silence settles between them. “Look, I don’t want to leave but my team needs me.”

 

“Does Alex know?” Kara asks.

 

“Not yet.” Sara admits. “Kara, I don’t want to go. I really don’t. I’m scared. I promise I will come back as soon as I can, I just need you to take care of her till then.”

 

“She’s my sister, of course I’ll take care of her. I just wish you didn’t have to go.” Kara shrugs. “Are you going to be back for the appointment?”

 

Sara nods eagerly, “I’ll portal in here, and head right over. There’s no way I’m going to miss that, I need to collect my winnings from your sister once the doc confirms it’s a boy.”

 

“Ew.” Kara gags. “I don’t want to hear about your winnings.”

 

“But they’re so good.” Sara grins. “If your sister wins then I have to clean the garage, basement, and attic without complaining.”

 

Kara arches an eyebrow, “That’s it?”

 

“My winnings include my favorite toy.” Sara chirps, and a cackle of amusement leaves her as Kara yells in protest. “It’s the one that Lucy bought us for our wedding gift. The vibrating settings are _amazing._ Your sister…”

 

“No! Please, no!” Kara begs.

 

Sara laughs for a moment before the happiness dims from her gaze, “I need to get home and pack. Alex will be over later tonight, I already have Winn set up to drop her and Silver off.”

 

“We’ll get their rooms ready.” Kara nods, and she speeds across the room to pull Sara into a tight embrace. “Be careful, okay?”

 

“Always, kid.”

 

Kara sets Sara back on her feet and allows her to slip from the house quietly. It isn’t till she feels arms curl protectively around her waist that she settles and sinks back against Lena. Here, in her fiancée’s arms, Kara feels safe; here with Lena, everything seems like it’s going to be okay.

 

“It’s going go be okay.” Lena whispers.

 

Kara smiles softly, “I know.”

 

-

 

Alex wakes up to the sound of a zipper, and she blinks furiously in an attempt to pull herself from the fog of exhaustion. As soon as her eyes are fully opened, she looks towards the end of the bed where Sara is packing a few t-shirts and one of her favorite sets of throwing stars. With a frown of confusion, Alex struggles to sit up as she yawns and meets Sara’s blue eyes with a tilt of her head; it takes her only a moment to see the guilt, and she doesn’t need Sara to confirm what she already knows.

 

“You’re going back.”

 

Sara ducks her head, “I don’t have a choice.”

 

“I know.” Alex whispers. “Does Silver know?”

 

“She’s taking a nap…”

 

“Not an excuse, Sara. Wake her up and tell her, I’m not breaking her heart again.” Alex scoffs as she runs a hand through her hair. “I know you have a duty to your team, but you have a duty to this family as well. We _need_ you.”

 

“Alex, I know.” Sara frowns. “I _know._ I tried to explain why I didn’t want to leave, but it didn’t matter. All that matters is my team made a mess and I’m their captain, I have to go clean it up.”

 

Alex shakes her head in disbelief, “Fine.”

 

“Hey, what are you doing?” Sara demands as she watches Alex throw her legs over the side of the bed to stand. “I know you’re mad at me, but you don’t need to get out of bed to prove it.”

 

“I’m getting up to go take care of our child.” Alex replies with a look of annoyance. “Finish packing. We’ll meet you in the living room.”

 

Alex rests a protective hand on her abdomen as she patters through the house and down the hallway. As she peeks into her daughter’s room, her eyes soften as she sees Silver sitting on the bed with her legs dangling over the side and her head dropped forward. Alex knows her daughter already realizes what is happening, she can see it in her posture and she sees the drying tears on her cheeks. With a sigh, Alex crosses the room and sits beside her daughter who immediately turns to her with wide, tear filled eyes and a quivering lower lip.

 

“She’s leaving?” Silver murmurs.

 

Alex sighs as she runs a hand through Silver’s blonde hair, “Yeah, bullet. She doesn’t want to go, but her boss says she has to.”

 

“What about the baby?” Silver asks. “Mommy, how are you and the baby gonna be okay?”

 

“Hey, the baby and I will be fine. I have you, Grandma Eliza, Auntie Kara, Auntie Lena, Grandpa J, Uncle Winn, Aunt Lucy, Uncle James, Cat…”

 

“That’s a lot of people.” Silver cuts in.

 

Alex laughs softly as she sees the watery smile on her daughter’s face, “It is a lot of people, and they all love you very much. They love this baby. And they love _me_. So, we’ll have someone who will take care of us at all times.”

 

“Pinky promise?” Silver sniffles.

 

Alex links their pinkies together, “Pinky promise.”

 

“Mind if I join?” Sara whispers.

 

“No! You’re mean!” Silver exclaims.

 

“Hey, baby, no. That’s not nice.” Alex scolds. “Mama doesn’t want to go, she _has_ to. You can’t be mad at her, okay? That’s not fair.”

 

“But…”

 

Alex shakes her head, “It’s not fair.”

 

“Fine.” Silver huffs.

 

“Can I get my girls to walk me out?” Sara murmurs.

 

Alex nods as she stands and scoops Silver into her arms, the trio is silent as they make their way downstairs to the foyer. It feels odd, the silence that grows between them, and it makes Alex uncomfortable. With a sigh, Alex carefully sets Silver on her feet and rests a protective hand on top of her head as Sara slings her duffel bag over her shoulder and smiles down at her.

 

“See you soon, bullet?” Sara whispers.

 

“No. I’m mad at you.” Silver snaps, and Sara blinks in shock at her words. “You’re supposed to stay and take care of mommy. You can’t go away again! What if she has to go to the booboo place again?”

 

“Bullet,” Sara sighs as she squats in front of the pouting child. “I don’t want to go, I want to stay but this is my job. I promise I will be home as soon as I can and then we’ll both take care of mom.”

 

Silver drops her head, “Fine.”

 

“Can I get a kiss?” Sara frowns.

 

“No.” Silver grumbles, but she quickly changes her mind as she bounces into Sara’s arms. “Please don’t go, Mama. _Please_.”

 

“I’m sorry, bullet.” Sara murmurs in her ear.

 

Silver pulls away quickly, “Bye, Mama.”

 

As she watches her daughter, Sara feels the first pang of sadness. She knows how hard this is on her wife and daughter, it’s hard for _her,_ but this is her job and she doesn’t have a choice. Sara stands and reaches for Alex as she pours every apology she can in the gentle kiss the leaves on her wife’s lips. She hopes Alex can understand all the words she can’t say, she hopes that she can feel the way her own heart is breaking. Finally, she pulls away and makes her way to the door, she stands with her hand on the doorknob and tries to gather herself with a harsh blink.

 

Sara glances over her shoulder in time to see Silver run off, and Alex spares her a small smile before she turns to follow their daughter. With that, Sara ducks out of her house with a broken heart and a fire raging in her veins.

 

-

 

“She settled in?”

 

Kara nods as she approaches Lena, “Alex is asleep.”

 

“Silver didn’t even make it halfway through Frozen before she fell asleep.” Lena sighs as she glances to the child in her lap. “We didn’t even get to sing Love Is An Open Door.”

 

“Next time, honey.” Kara smiles.

 

Kara stares at Lena, sees the way her fiancée runs her fingers gently through Silver’s hair while watching her adoringly, and it makes her heart soar. There’s something about seeing Lena with a baby, she’s had the same feeling since the first time she saw Lena hold Silver in her arms. With a smile, Kara slides over the side of the couch and barely manages to catch herself before she sprawls herself across Lena and Silver.

 

“Don’t wake her.” Lena orders.

 

Kara grins brightly, “I want us to have a baby. Not _now_ because we haven’t even gotten married yet, but someday. I-I want to be a mother. Is that...do you want a child?”

 

“Honestly? I’ve never wanted kids.” Lena admits as she watches Kara’s smile fall. “I saw the damage my parents inflicted on Lex, on _me_ , and it terrifies me that I could do the same thing to my child.”

 

“Lena…”

 

“But that was before I met you.” Lena whispers, and Kara immediately stills. “You make the idea of being a mother seem so beautiful, and I can’t imagine not blessing this world with a miniature you.”

 

Kara darts forward to steal a gentle kiss from Lena as she beams, “I want a miniature _you_. Our kids will be beautiful, talented, brilliant, but most importantly they’ll be kind.”

 

“I can’t wait.” Lena breathes out.

 

“So, is it safe to say you’ll be having my baby?”

 

Lena slowly arches an eyebrow, “I suppose.”

 

“Perfect.” Kara purrs as her eyes spark with a gleam of mischief. “You’re having my baby, what a lovely way of saying how much you love me. You’re having my baby, what a lovely way of saying what you’re thinking of me.”

 

“Kara, no.” Lena whines.

 

“You’re having my baby, you’re the woman I love and I love what it’s doing to you. You’re having my baby, you’re a woman in love and I love what’s going through you.” Kara sings.

 

Lena bites her lip to stifle her laugh, “Stop.”

 

Kara smiles as she watches Lena, “I love you.”

 

“I love you, too.”

 

-

 

“Danvers, look at that bump.”

 

Alex rolls her eyes, “Who let _you_ in?”

 

“Hey, I brought you a present.” Maggie pouts, and Alex perks up as she notices the pink box. “Four glazed donuts, two strawberry, one chocolate sprinkled, and a cronut.”

 

“You are currently my favorite person.” Alex moans as she holds her hands out. “How did you know I was craving sweets?”

 

“Lucky guess.” Maggie smirks.

 

Alex hums happily as she flips the top open to reveal her treats, “What are you doing here? Don’t you have to work?”

 

“Kara has to go into the office so she asked me to stay with you, I’ll head back to work once she gets back.” Maggie shrugs as she plops herself beside Alex. “Where’s the kid?”

 

“Well, one is currently boxing my bladder and the other is off learning about reptiles.” Alex sighs, and she can’t help but groan as she sinks her teeth into a donut. “This is _exactly_ what I needed.”

 

Maggie watches her with a fond smile, “I try.”

 

“So, what’s with the donuts?” Alex asks through a mouthful of her treat.

 

“What do you mean?” Maggie frowns as she sets her phone aside. “Am I not allowed to bring my pregnant friend donuts?”

 

“Oh, you very much are.” Alex assures her as she holds a donut up in thanks. “I just wondered if there was ulterior motives behind this generous offering you brought me.”

 

“Wow. When have I ever had ulterior motives? We both know I’m not smart enough to trick you anyway, Danvers.” Maggie smirks, and she is met with an arched eyebrow.

 

“I’ve missed you, Mags.” Alex smiles.

 

“I’ve missed you too.” Maggie sighs, and Alex can hear the honesty in every word. “But I’m here on a mission today.”

 

“What happened to no ulterior motives?” Alex chuckles, but she sobers at Maggie’s quick stern glare. “Dear God. I should probably warn the world that Maggie Sawyer is on a mission.”

 

“A mission to deliver donuts to all the pregnant women in National City. Well, at least the ones that I like.” Maggie shrugs, and her face twists into a look of puzzlement for a moment. “Basically the only person getting donuts is you.”

 

Alex shakes her head, “You’re ridiculous.”

 

A silence falls between the pair as Alex continues to pick at the pastries. It’s nice, having Maggie back in her life. They’ve only recently found a common ground and rebuilt their friendship, and Alex is loving every minute of it. It’s so familiar, but parts of it are so new. There’s a side of Maggie that she’s never seen before, a side that she somehow ignored when she was in love with her. Now, every piece of Maggie is chipped away and bare for Alex to see, and their friendship grows a little more everyday.

 

“Why are you watching me?” Alex demands as she picks a sprinkle off her shirt. “Do I have icing all over my face or something?”

 

“No. I’m just...trying to figure it all out.” Maggie shrugs as she continues to stare. “You’re _pregnant_. You’re a mom and a wife, and this is all just so new to me. You’re a new you.”

 

Alex laughs softly, “Is that a bad thing?”

 

“Nope.” Maggie chirps.

 

“So, how much did Kara have to pay you to come hang out with me? Winn refuses to because I threw a case file at him last time.” Alex mumbles. “He deserved it though.”

 

“Knowing Winn, he probably did.” Maggie hums. “I didn’t need to be paid though, I just wanted to check on you. Kara told me things have been a little crazy this past month.”

 

“I don’t know why I expected any different, I married a time traveling ex assassin.” Alex sighs. “It’s just hard. My hormones are insane, and I just miss my wife. I want her here.”

 

Maggie smiles softly, “She will be.”

 

“Not for another week.” Alex pouts. “And she’s only going to be here for the appointment, after that she has to go back for two more weeks.”

 

“And then?”

 

“And then she’s through. Or so she says.” Alex mumbles. “It’s hard to say, they could need her at anytime and I just have to go with it. She’s the captain, their leader.”

 

“Yeah, but she’s your wife and the mother of your kids. I can see why you’d want her around.” Maggie points out. “And she will be, I may not know her well but it’s obvious how much she loves you and your kids. She won’t stay gone long.”

 

Alex bites her lip, “Here’s hoping.”

 

“Hey, enough with the mopping. You’re making me all depressed.” Maggie teases, and she leans forward to grab the remote. “How about we watch some Jerry Springer?”

 

“You hate that show…”

 

“Kara mentioned that you like to yell at the TV, she says it helps to get your frustration out. I’m happy to yell with you.” Maggie shrugs as she flicks through the channels. “Oh, it’s a paternity test one.”

 

Alex huffs, “That douche is _definitely_ the father.”

 

“What?” Maggie scoffs. “No way.”

 

“Look at his ears! His kid clearly has his ears, and his smile.” Alex replies as she gestures wildly towards the television. “I bet you a glazed and half a strawberry the baby is his.”

 

Maggie arches an eyebrow, “You are so on.”

 

-

 

“Hi.”

 

Alex glances up from a file, “Hi, bullet. All clean?”

 

“Uh huh. Auntie Lena let me take a bubble bath in her and Auntie Kara’s giant bathtub.” Silver grins as she scurries towards the bed. “And she let me play until my hands got wrinkled.”

 

“Well, that was awful nice of her.” Alex chuckles, and her heart warms as her daughter uses the bed sheets to pull herself onto the bed. “Do you wanna stay in here with me tonight?”

 

“Yeah, I want a cuddle samwich.” Silver yawns.

 

“Good thing I’m super ready for that.” Alex smiles, and she sets the file aside with a small wince. “Oh, looks like your sibling is awake.”

 

Silver tilts her head, “What’s the baby doing?”

 

“Well, I think they’re playing soccer with my stomach or using my bladder as a punching bag.” Alex chuckles as she offers her hand. “Would you like to see if you can feel?”

 

“Yeah!”

 

Alex takes Silver’s tiny hand in her own and guides it to rest on her stomach where the baby is the most active. So far, there’s been no kicks but Alex has felt flutters and Kara has taken a look a few times to watch her little niece or nephew float around. Now, as they sit in the quiet room, Silver furrows her brow and squeaks in shock as she feels something slowly smooth itself across the length of her hand.

 

“Mommy, I felt it!” Silver exclaims.

 

Alex laughs as she watches her daughter, “I think the baby is putting on a show for you tonight, bullet. They won’t hold still.”

 

“Hi, baby.” Silver giggles, but it quickly dies away as she glances up at her mother. “Mommy, can the baby hear me talking?”

 

“Maybe. When you were in my tummy, mama used to talk to you and you’d kick and kick until I’d tell her to stop because it hurt so bad.” Alex grins. “I think you really liked the sound of her voice.”

 

Silver bites her lip and drops her gaze, “I was really mean to mama.”

 

“You were.” Alex nods as she reaches up to guide Silver’s chin up. “I know that you were sad mama was leaving, but you hurt her feelings. You’re going to be a big sister soon, you have to set a good example for your little brother or sister.”

 

“What does that mean?”

 

“It means that you have to teach them how to be nice.” Alex explains as she taps Silver’s nose. “You have a responsibility.”

 

Silver beams, “Is that a good thing?”

 

“It’s a great thing.” Alex assures her.

 

“Can I call mama tomorrow and say sorry?” Silver asks, and she puffs out her chest when Alex gives a nod. “I wanna make sure the baby knows I’m a good example.”

 

“That’s right, bullet. Your little brother or sister,” Alex whispers as she covers Silver’s hand and smiles down at her. “Your responsibility.”

 

“Okay, Mommy.” Silver nods. “My little brother or sister, my responsibility.”

 

-

 

“So, when does Sara get back?”

 

Alex glances at her sister with a frown, “She should be back tomorrow around noon. My appointment is at three and she promised she’d be there.”

 

“That’s good.” Kara nods as she pauses in front of a baby store in the corner of the mall. “You ready to do some shopping?”

 

“Shouldn’t I wait? I mean, Sara is going to want to be here for this and we don’t know the gender of the baby yet.” Alex points out. “I think I should at least wait until after the appointment.”

 

“It can’t hurt to at least look.” Kara pleads, and she pushes her lower lip out as she stares. “Come on, Alex. It’ll be fun. You never know, maybe you’ll find a gender neutral outfit.”

 

Alex doesn’t bother to answer, she simply turns and wanders into the store with her sister at her heels. The pair slowly walk along the rows of clothes, the array of colors and products cause Alex to cringe as she skips over the blues and pinks. With a sigh, she pauses in front of the display that shows a perfectly set up nursery; the sight just reminds Alex of all the things she and Sara have to do before the baby finally gets here.

 

“Kara?”

 

“What’s up?” Kara chirps as she sets aside a bundle of onesies and skips towards her sister. “Are you alright? Is it the baby?”

 

“No. I just…” Alex trails off as she continues to stare at the beautiful cherry wood nursery set. “Maybe I should get more than clothes. We didn’t really keep any of Silver’s baby stuff, we donated it to the shelter. The baby needs furniture.”

 

“You sure?” Kara frowns.

 

“There’s so much to do before the baby gets here and we don’t even have a plan for the nursery.” Alex admits as she nibbles her lower lip. “All we’ve bought so far is a teddy bear.”

 

“Okay. That’s fine. No need to rush.” Kara soothes as she sets a hand on Alex’s shoulder. “How about we just look at clothes for now, okay? The furniture shopping is something you and Sara should be doing together.”

 

Alex hesitates with a sigh, “You’re right.”

 

“Of course I am.” Kara beams as she pecks Alex quickly on the cheek. “Come on, there’s a thousand onesies that are _so_ adorable.”

 

“Onesies aren’t really important.” Alex shrugs even as she allows Kara to drag her towards the rows of different shirts. “They spend their first year throwing up, drooling, and popping all over them.”

 

“Maybe, but look how cute this.” Kara hums as she holds up a glittery purple onesie. “Little Kara will look so adorable in it.”

 

Alex chuckles, “For the last time, Sara and I are _not_ naming this baby after you.”

 

“Well, that’s your loss then.” Kara huffs, but her mock sadness disappears as she grabs a white onesie. “Look at this! It has a picture of Catco on the front of it.”

 

“Absolutely not.” Alex snorts.

 

“Cat is going to buy it for you.” Kara warns as she sets it down. “Will you actually allow me to help dress this one? Silver spent her first year in nothing but black.”

 

“She looked badass.” Alex protests.

 

Kara sighs heavily, “Try to add some color to this baby’s wardrobe.”

 

“I suppose it wouldn’t be horrible to add some purple or blue.” Alex mutters as she holds up a small blue onesie. “I guess I could pick out a couple outfits for the baby, right?”

 

“Right.”

 

Alex begins to pick out onesies, “Just a couple.”

 

“Yeah. Only a few.”

 

“Like, five at the most.” Alex nods, and she glances up to see the ones Kara is picking up. “Let’s not go crazy, I can’t break the bank buying outfits for my son or daughter.”

 

“I have Lena’s credit card…”

 

Alex brightens, “Who am I kidding? Let’s look at some outfits for Silver as well.”

 

-

 

Sara is miserable.

 

With each day that passes, she withdraws more and more. She just wants to go home. She wants to be with her family, she wants her girls. It’s almost seven by the time she slinks off into her quarters and strips from her uniform with a sigh. As soon as she collapses onto her bed, she reaches for her phone and blindly dials a number while she rubs at her eyes. She’s exhausted, but there’s no way she’ll be able to sleep without at least hearing Alex’s voice or Silver’s bell like laughter.

 

_“Hello?”_

 

“Hey, babe.” Sara hums. “It’s me.”

 

_“Hi, baby. How are you?”_

 

“Tired. Miserable. I miss you.” Sara sighs. “I want to go home, and everything is just going to shit. My team is annoying me and they’re trying to be comforting but I don’t want it. I just want to be left alone, y’know? I need space.”

 

_“Hey, babe. Calm down. Take a breath.”_

 

Sara blows out a strong sigh, “I didn’t mean to just unload on you like that. I’m sorry. You must be just as tired as I am. How are you feeling?”

 

_“Well rested. Kara and Lena have me on a nap schedule, and they have a masseuse coming in once a week. They keep an eye on my blood pressure, and they make me smoothies.”_

 

“Oh yeah? Sounds like you’re living like a queen in the Luthor-Danvers household.” Sara teases. “So, is Silver up?”

 

_“She is. She just finished watching a movie with Lena, and she is crawling into bed now. I think she might want a story.”_

 

“Put me on speaker?” Sara grins.

 

_“Mama?”_

 

“Hey, bullet.”

 

_“Hi, mama. I’m super sorry for being mean to you. I love you lots, and I didn’t mean to make you sad. I’m sorry. Are you mad at me?”_

 

Sara sits up with a frown, “Mad at you? Bullet, I could never be mad at you. It’s okay. You were just doing what I asked, huh? Looking out for your mom and the baby.”

 

_“My baby brother or sister, my responsibility.”_

 

“That’s right.” Sara chuckles. “So, what’s this I hear about a story?”

 

_“Will you read me one?”_

 

“Of course, kiddo.” Sara smiles. “Whatcha got?”

 

_“Babe, I can read it…”_

 

“I think I already know what it is, and if I’m right then I have it memorized already.” Sara assures her as she settles back on her pillows. “So, is Where The Wild Things Are ready to go?”

 

_“Yup.”_

 

Sara closes her eyes as she pictures being with her wife and daughter, “The night Max wore his wolf suit and made mischief of one kind and another. His mother called him wild thing and Max said…”

 

_“I’ll eat you up!”_

 

“So he was sent to bed without eating anything.”

 

Sara sweeps Silver off into the magical land of a forest and adventures. Every now and then, Silver chirps in a line but other than that Sara listens to her soft breath as she easily read out the book. By the time the ending neared, Sara can feel the exhaustion creeping into her bones as she struggles to hold in her yawns.

 

Sara swallows hard at the next line, “And Max, the king of all wild things, was lonely and wanted to be where someone loved him best of all.”

 

_“Oh please don’t go! We’ll eat you up, we love you so!”_

 

Sara laughs at the way Silver skips through the story and by the time she finishes, she can hear the even breaths coming from her daughter and wife. With a hum, Sara curls herself under her bedspread and places the phone on speaker beside her; she wakes up with a dead battery, but she also wakes up with a new sense of purpose and the knowledge she’ll be back with her own wild things soon.

 

-

 

Alex lays on the cot with a nervous expression, and she tried to hide her slight fear from the nurse as she blows out a breath and closes her eyes. This is the big appointment, the appointment that is going to finally answer her and Sara’s biggest question; today is the day they find out the gender.

 

Half of her wants another girl. Silver is so perfect, so gentle, and she wants nothing more than to hold a pudgy little baby with wisps of hair tied with bows. Yet the other half longs for a little boy, she knows he’ll be just like her. He’ll be strong and stubborn, never fearing the outcome of his choices and knowing exactly what he wants.

 

“The doctor will be with you shortly.”

 

The door closes loudly behind the nurse as she leaves Alex to flutter her eyes open and stare vacantly at the clock. Ten minutes slowly pass by and she continues to glances to the door in hopes that Sara will walk through it. She promised to be here, she promised to make it back to their Earth in time for this.

 

Soon, fifteen minutes become twenty and Alex gives up. Her heart pangs with anger and she can’t help but curse Sara’s loyalty to her team. Alex needs her _here_. She needs her wife. With an annoyed sjgh, Alex gives up on waiting and instead focuses on the hand on her abdomen.

 

“Looks like it’s just us today, baby. I guess she got caught up with something else.” Alex murmurs as she looks down to her stomach. “That’s okay though, I’m here and that’s what matters.”

 

“Hi, Alex.” Dr. Grayson greets as she walks into the room only to pause with a frown. “Where’s Sara? Is she running late?”

 

“I think she got caught up with something.” Alex shrugs as she forces a smile. “It’s fine. We can just start without her.”

 

Dr. Grayson nods, “Whatever you want.”

 

The doctor is silent as she prepares Alex for her sonogram, she rattles off a few facts and scribbles along Alex’s chart but it’s all background noise. It isn’t till Alex lifts her shirt that the door flies open and a winded Sara spills into the room with pink cheeks and wide eyes. All at once, the woman straightens herself and looks between the pair with an indifferent expression.

 

“I’m sorry for being late, something came up.” Sara explains as she walks over to press a gentle kiss to Alex’s lips. “I tried to get here…”

 

“It’s okay. I’m just glad you’re here. I need you.” Alex whispers, and she squeaks in surprise as the doctor layers her stomach with gel. “That’s so cold!”

 

“I guess I should’ve warned you.” Dr. Grayson chuckles as she watches the two women reach for each other. “Shall we see what your little one is up to these days?”

 

Alex feels the pressure on her hand tighten and she looks up at her nervous wife with a smile. The wand moves along her stomach and Alex shivers as she looks to the black and white image, she squints her eyes as she tries to make out her baby. Finally, she manages to make out the shape of the infant and her heart warms at the sight of it.

 

Both women share a quick glance as they hear a familiar gurgle that starts. The sound is steady, it sends chills along Alex’s spine as she sucks in a breath of adoration. That’s her child’s heartbeat. That’s her baby, her little boy or girl. Inside of her is another life that she and Sara are going to raise together, and it makes her a bit breathless.

 

“Well?” Sara demands.

 

Alex chuckles, “Relax, babe.”

 

“I’ll relax as soon as we know.” Sara assures her.

 

“Well, you don’t need to wait any longer,” Dr. Grayson teases as she pauses on the side of Alex’s stomach. “Ladies, I’d like to introduce you to your little boy.”

 

“A boy?” Sara repeats as a wide smile slowly crosses her face. “Did you hear that, Alex? We’re having a boy.”

 

Alex blinks in awe, “A boy?”

 

“It’s a boy.” Dr. Grayson nods.

 

“We’re having a boy!” Sara yells as she throws her arms up in excitement.

 

Alex wants to shush her, but when she turns her head and sees the honest happiness that shines in blue eyes she simply shakes her head. She ignores Sara as she begins to jabber to the doctor, she simply focuses on the tiny screen that displays their little black and white blob of a child. Of their son. Alex smiles softly and begins to mentally countdown the days until she can meet him.


	7. little piece of heaven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter took a lot of work! I am currently shackled down with the flu so hopefully that'll give me time to get chapter eight up soon. Hope y'all enjoy :)

“Wyatt?”

 

“No.”

 

“Chris?”

 

Alex scrunches her nose, “Pass.”

 

“Bailey?”

 

“Absolutely not.”

 

“You gotta give me something to work with here, babe.” Sara laughs as they sit on a bench in front of the hospital. “We have to have a name for our son before he gets here.”

 

“Our _son_.” Alex repeats with a smile.

 

“Told you.” Sara smirks.

 

“I hate when you’re right.” Alex pouts, but the expression fades as Sara leans over to press a lingering kiss to her cheek. “So, when do you have to go back to the team?”

 

“I managed to pull off getting four days off.” Sara sighs, and her heart breaks as soon as she notices Alex’s smile dim. “But I don’t want to go back at all so I’m staying here…”

 

Alex flashes her a scowl, “You can’t.”

 

“I can do whatever I want.” Sara scoffs. “I’m so tired of leaving you and my kids, I just want to be home. I want you and Silver to be back home, and I want Nacho back from James. I just want everything to go back to how it was.”

 

“That’s not how our life works…”

 

“Well, that’s how it should work and that’s how it’s going to. I’m done, Alex. I’m not going back. I’m staying right here.” Sara assures her. “I’m hanging up my captain hat for good.”

 

“And when the next level eight pops up?” Alex asks.

 

Sara hesitates, “Then they’ll deal with it.”

 

“Sara,” Alex sighs as she pulls her wife’s hand into her lap. “I want you home so badly, but your job doesn’t work like that. You made a promise, you said one more year. So, keep your promise and we can go from there.”

 

“I want to go from _here_ …”

 

“Sara,” Alex pleads. “Don’t make this harder for us.”

 

“Fine. I love you.” Sara whispers, and her gaze drops to Alex’s abdomen as she smiles. “And I love you, little man.”

 

Alex leans over to press their lips together, “We love you more.”

 

-

 

Sara feels a little out of her depth.

 

When Silver was three, Sara insisted on putting her in a sport but Alex refused. Eventually, they settled on gymnastics because it was a perfect balance between what the women wanted for their daughter. But now, watching as Silver hops around in a tutu and leotard, Sara feels like she is seeing a different side of her kid. Silver hates dancing, she always has, so when Alex told her that _this_ is what she signed their daughter up for she was a little surprised. A small smile crosses her face as she puts a distance between herself and a herd of mothers while keeping a close eye on Silver.

 

“Hi.”

 

Sara glances into excited brown eyes, “Um. Hi.”

 

“I’m Camila.” The woman beams as she offers her hand to Sara, and the woman slowly accepts it with a hesitant smile. “Which one is yours?”

 

“The one who is definitely not doing the correct dance move.” Sara chuckles, and Camila laughs as they both watch Silver. “My wife thought this would be a good thing for our daughter.”

 

“Oh! _Oh_! You’re Sara!”

 

“I am.” Sara nods. “I assume you know Alex?”

 

“Your wife is so sweet.” Camila gushes. “She was a little overwhelmed when she first came in, but she has become one of us. A total dance mom. She brings snacks for the girls.”

 

“Ah, yeah. That sounds like my girl.” Sara grins. “If you knew her before Silver, you would’ve never guessed she’d be _here_. Being a mother has changed my wife in a million different ways.”

 

Camila laughs softly, “Well, we’re happy to have her. Silver gets along well with the other girls, a little hyper sometimes but nonetheless a hard worker. Alex mentioned you were coming into town...are you surprising Silver?”

 

“Kind of. She knew I was coming home, but she gets a little scatterbrained sometimes.” Sara sighs as she shakes her head. “Would it be a problem for me to steal her a little early?”

 

Camila smiles softly, “Of course not.”

 

Sara gives Camila parting wave as she stands to approach the group of dancers currently twirling through the room. As soon as Silver sees her, Sara releases a sigh of happiness as her daughter lights up and abandons her dance in order to race to her. With arms ready, Sara scoops Silver up and scatters kisses along her smiling face until a tiny hand pushes her chin back and she is met with shining green eyes and a bright smile.

 

“You’re here.” Silver chirps.

 

Sara chuckles, “I am.”

 

“I missed you.” Silver pouts as she wraps her arms around Sara’s neck and cuddles into her. “Mama, can we go home?”

 

“Sure, bullet.” Sara whispers as she spares the teacher a wave before she turns. “I missed you so much, kiddo.”

 

“I missed you more.”

 

“Not possible.”

 

Silver huffs, “Very possible.”

 

Their little playful argument continues all the way to the corner bakery where Sara leads her daughter. As soon as Silver takes in where they are, she brightens as she bounces on the tips of her toes and looks excitedly up at her mother. With a wink, Sara guides Silver towards a booth and motions for her to slide in and the child hesitates as she glances down at the frill around her waist.

 

“I hate this stupid thing.” Silver huffs.

 

Sara arches an eyebrow as Silver tugs weakly at her tutu, “Kid, if you hate doing ballet so much then why are you doing it?”

 

“Mommy likes it.” Silver shrugs.

 

“So, you’re just doing this for your mom?” Sara asks, and Silver glances up at her with a sheepish nod. “I think your mom will be okay if you want to quit, bullet. She wants you to be happy.”

 

“I’m happy if mommy is.” Silver replies as she gives up on her tutu and instead crawls into the booth while Sara grins. “Mommy says I look like a princess when I dance.”

 

“You look like a princess always.” Sara assures her, and the grin on her face falters as she points a stern finger at her daughter. “I’ll be right back, don’t move from this spot.”

 

Silver folds her hands on the table, “Yes ma’am.”

 

Sara watches Silver for a moment longer before she approaches the counter and pays for the cupcake she ordered ahead of time. As soon as she slides into the booth across from Silver, her daughter perks up and focuses her entire attention on her mother rather than the gigantic cupcake sitting on a plate in front of her.

 

“Mama, when are you gonna come home for good?”

 

“Soon.” Sara replies. “As soon as your little...sibling gets here, I’ll be home for good. No more traveling, just work with your Auntie Kara and Uncle Winn. I pinky promise.”

 

Silver watches her for a moment, “Okay.”

 

“So, your mom is with your Auntie Kara because I wanted to spend some time with you,” Sara begins as she slides the plate forward. “I wanted to do something special for my girl.”

 

“Cupcakes are _very_ special.” Silver chirps.

 

“Well, this one is _super_ special.” Sara hums as she picks up the knife setting on the plate. “This cupcake is going to tell you something you’ve been asking your mom about.”

 

Silver tilts her head, “What is it?”

 

“Watch.” Sara orders.

 

Silver furrows her brow as she watches her mother, and Sara is full of laughter as she cuts into her daughter’s cupcake and watches blue M&M’s spill onto the plate. It takes Silver a moment to catch on, to take in the fact that she’s staring at _blue_ , and when it hits her she squeals in excitement. The child bounces eagerly on in the booth while she pops the blue pieces of candy into her mouth, and Sara doesn’t bother trying to hide the smile of adoration that appears on her face.

 

“What do you think, kiddo?” Sara chuckles.

 

Silver looks up with bright eyes, “My brother, my responsibility.”

 

-

 

Alex knows she only has so long with Sara before she goes back, and she also knows her wife spent last night arguing quietly on her phone. So, when Alex is pulled from her sleep by a crash and a curse, she immediately sits up and glances to the empty spot beside her. With a smothered yawn, Alex rubs tiredly at her eyes as she glances towards the clock and stares at the blinking red seven.

 

After a moment, Alex finally manages to slide off her bed and she quietly patters her way towards the source of the noise. Tired feet fumble towards the unfinished nursery and she can’t help but smile at the scene she happens upon; Sara is sitting in the middle of wooden pieces with a booklet in one hand and a hammer in the other.

 

“Babe,” Alex begins. “What are you doing?”

 

“Distracting myself.” Sara grumbles. “Agent Sharpe decided it would be a good idea to call me this morning at five to bitch at me for not immediately returning to the ship.”

 

“Oh. Well, are you sure _this_ is how you want to distract yourself?” Alex asks in a slow tone. “It’s so early. I mean, we have all day to do this.”

 

Sara growls in irritation, “These instructions  _suck._ ”

 

“Hey, let’s go back to bed. It’s early.” Alex whispers as she settles her hands on her abdomen. “You’re going to be grumpy, just come back to bed. We’ll work on it later.”

 

“Alex, we don’t have anything ready for him. _You_ are the one who pointed that out.” Sara reminds her. “I thought you wanted this done.”

 

“I _do_.” Alex assures her. “Babe, I know you’re upset about arguing with the Time Bureau, but you being upset with me isn’t going to change that.”

 

“Alex, I’m not upset with you.” Sara sighs. “I’m just _pissed_. They keep trying to run my life, it’s like they don’t give a shit that I have a new life. I have a family. I don’t want to keep leaving you.”

 

“I know, baby…”

 

Sara shakes her head as she tosses the booklet of instructions aside, “You should’ve heard them talking about my responsibilities. You and our kids are my responsibilities.”

 

“What do you need me to do?”

 

“Nothing. There’s nothing you can do.” Sara sighs as she runs a hand through her hair. “I just...I don’t want to think about this. I have three more days with you and our girl, _that_ is what I want to focus on.”

 

“Whatever you want.” Alex whispers as she tilts her head and observes the mess. “Let me go take a shower and I’ll come back and help.”

 

“What? No. You need to sleep.” Sara scolds as she glances towards her wife. “You’re pregnant, Alex. I’m supposed to be doing these things, you need to be resting. Bed bound, remember?”

 

“You can’t seriously be going all caveman on me…”

 

“Fuck yeah I am. That’s my boy in there.” Sara reminds her as she nods towards the bump. “So, get your ass back in bed and go to sleep. I’ll take care of this, alright? Let me be a dad.”

 

Alex laughs softly, “You’re ridiculous.”

 

“I am _man_!” Sara calls after her retreating figure.

 

“You are a dork!” Alex snorts.

 

-

 

“We’re here!”

 

“Winn, _move_!” James orders.

 

“Well, it’s about time you two came. Everyone is already busy doing something.” Sara teases as she approaches the pair. “Were you able to find the right sheets for the bedding?”

 

“We bought a few different colors.” Winn beams as James drops a large box. “So, how are things going? Need help with the painting?”

 

“Nope. Lena and Kara are painting and everyone else is building furniture.” Sara shrugs. “We should definitely have this done before Alex gets back with Silver.”

 

Winn nods, “We’re gonna go see what we can do.”

 

Sara sighs heavily as the pair disappears and she closes her eyes to listen to the rumble of voices in her house. Everyone is spread out hard at work trying to put the baby’s nursery together; this was something Sara threw together last minute and she couldn’t be more thankful for the friends she has who willingly dropped everything to help. With a smile, Sara wanders into the living room where Sam is slowly looking through a photo album.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

Sam smiles up at her, “Sorry. I just got caught up looking through Alex’s baby book. She was the cutest baby, look at her eyes.”

 

“And unfortunately our daughter has inherited those same sweet eyes.” Sara chuckles as she glances down at the photo of a three-year-old Alex. “Where is everyone?”

 

“Everyone is kind of scattered around.” Sam shrugs as she sets the box aside. “Lena and Kara are putting the final layer of paint on the walls, Maggie is putting the rocking chair together, the boys are moving things around, Eliza is cleaning baby bottles. I’m just looking through Silver’s stuff.”

 

Sara squats down to pick up a worn bear, “This was Silver’s absolute favorite bear. She barely went anyone without it, she would cry for _hours_ if we had to wash it.”

 

“I can’t believe you kept all this stuff. I mean, I kept a few things for Ruby,” Sam frowns as she pokes around at the stacks of stuffed animals. “But some of this stuff is falling apart.”

 

“Alex couldn’t find it in her to chunk any of it, she wanted to hold onto the memories.” Sara chuckles as she fondly looks down at the bear.

 

“Wow. Well, this book has seen better days. It’s all scribbled on.” Sam scoffs as she pulls out a tattered book with half the cover ripped off.

 

“This was Alex’s when she was a baby.” Sara whispers as she takes the book from Sam and smoothes a hand over the front. “She’d read this to Silver almost every night.”

 

Sam smiles wistfully, “Why was it so special?”

 

“Alex’s dad used to read it to her, she said he cried the day she learned to read it by herself.” Sara sighs as she flips through the book. “It’s kind of one of the last pieces of her childhood that she has. Well, the childhood _before_ Kara.”

 

“Ah. I understand the sentiment.” Sam hums as she folds a stained blanket. “So, why the long wait about finding out about the gender? I couldn’t wait to find out about Ruby.”

 

Sara laughs as she continues to pack the box, “It was hard for Alex to go to the appointments while I was away, and she didn’t want to find out without me. So, we waited for her sixth month appointment and now here we are.”

 

“Here we are trying to throw together a nursery in a few short hours?” Sam teases, and Sara flushes in slight shame. “Alex is a lucky woman, not everyone has someone who would think to do something so thoughtful.”

 

“Well, it helps that it’s benefiting my child,” Sara chuckles as she stands to haul the box safely in her arms. “And it’s the least I can do. I leave Wednesday morning and Alex has meetings so Silver won’t be with her, I just want her to have one less thing to worry about.”

 

Sam grabs another box, “Well, then let’s finish this up.”

 

Everything falls together easily as everyone works to put the finishing touches on the nursery. By the time Snart texts her to warn her that Alex is on her way home, they’re hanging the last picture and sliding the last book in the bookcase. Sara looks around in awe and shakes her head at the magic they’ve managed to create; the scene before her is everything Alex has talked about. With one last nod of excitement, everyone begins to frantically clean until Sara slips from the room in order to meet her wife in the living room.

 

“Hi, gorgeous.” Sara greets.

 

Alex sighs with a breathless smile, “Hi.”

 

“Where’s our bullet?” Sara asks with a frown.

 

“Your daughter convinced her uncles to stay at the arcade for a few more hours.” Alex replies with an amused roll of her eyes. “I left them money for a cab, I couldn’t stand anymore. My back is absolutely killing me, and I’m exhausted.”

 

Sara smiles softly, “I can see that.”

 

“It was nice taking her out though. Mick and Leo really enjoy the arcade, I think they’re enjoying using her as an excuse to be a kid again.” Alex laughs as she arches her back. “What did you do today?”

 

“Well, I did quite a bit.” Sara admits. “Wanna see?”

 

Alex narrows her eyes, “Did you rearrange the training room again? Sara, I told you that we can’t fit a miniature salmon ladder for Silver.”

 

“I’ll convince you to let me put one in someday. I know it.” Sara huffs, and a smile pulls at her lips as she extends her hand. “Come here. I wanna show you something.”

 

“What is it?” Alex demands.

 

Sara ignores her wife and instead slips behind her to cover her eyes much to Alex’s dismay; for a moment, Alex fights it only to give in as Sara simply playfully bites at her shoulder. With soft encouraging words, Sara leads Alex through the house and up the stairs towards the room across from their own. As she nears the nursery, Eliza appears and rushes to open the door before the couple slip inside and Sara slows them to a stop.

 

“What is going on, Sara?” Alex demands as she feels the warmth of her wife against her back. “And why do I smell paint?”

 

Sara kisses her shoulder once before she drops her hands and allows Alex to blink in awe. With a breath of surprise, Alex skims over the smiles in the room and instead turns in circles to take in the nursery. It’s everything she has been planning, from the light yellow walls to the dark cherry wood accents. A lone tear rolls down her face as she turns once more and comes face to face with her beaming wife, and one look into blue eyes has Alex falling in love with this woman all over again.

 

“What did you do?” Alex whispers.

 

Sara smiles and tucks a strand of Alex’s hair behind her ear, “I know you’ve been stressing about this, and it’s the least I can do since I’ve been gone so much. Is it okay?”

 

“Sara, it’s amazing. I’m...I can’t believe you guys did all of this in four hours.” Alex laughs as she looks around to the smiling faces. “I don’t understand how you managed to pull this off.”

 

“Well, when you have a team of superheroes and agents working together things seem to just fall in place.” Sara shrugs. “All that’s left is the precious finishing touch.”

 

“Well, you’re going to have to wait for that one because our finishing touch is still growing.” Alex teases. “Thank you. All of you. My hormones are saying to hug you all, but they’re also saying to punch a few of you in the face.”

 

“How about we just buy them Chinese food and beer instead?” Sara chuckles as she drops a kiss to Alex’s shoulder. “What do you guys say?”

 

Kara nods eagerly, “I’m dying for some potstickers.”

 

“I would love a salmon roll.” Maggie shrugs.

 

“I wouldn’t complain about some beer.” James chirps.

 

With a smile, Eliza manages to wrangle the herd of friends from the room even as they stop to give Alex kisses. As soon as they’re gone, Alex relaxes and turns to press a gentle kiss to Sara’s lips; she doesn’t know what to say, she doesn’t know what to _feel_. Standing in this room, the room where her son will grow and live in, makes her heart skip a few beats while butterflies flutter in her stomach. Seeing this finishing touch makes Alex realize that she only has so much time before her son comes out to greet this crazy, amazing world.

 

“Is it okay?” Sara asks softly.

 

“It’s _perfect_.” Alex assures her. “To be honest, it makes me a little nervous. I know it’s done and I shouldn’t worry, but I just want to make sure he’s coming home to a stable room.”

 

Sara presses a hand to her stomach, “He will be.”

 

“Promise?” Alex whispers.

 

“I promise.”

 

-

 

“That is _so_ cute.” Kara gushes.

 

Alex grins as she displays the onesie, “It is.”

 

“I hope you guys plan to help her fold all of this stuff when I leave tonight.” Sara scoffs. “I didn’t spend an entire day setting a nursery up just for you guys to fuck it up with new outfits.”

 

“We’ll help her.” Sam assures her with a laugh.

 

“I can’t thank you guys enough for this. I’m sorry I wasn’t up for a _real_ baby shower, but…”

 

Eliza waves her daughter off with a small grin, “Don’t apologize, sweetheart. I think we all understand your hesitation after what happened at Silver’s baby shower.”

 

“What happened at my baby shower, Mommy?”

 

Alex smiles as Silver pops up from beneath a mound of wrapping paper, “It didn’t exactly go as planned, the world needed saving and we had to push your shower back for a few hours.”

 

“That’s just the light version, bullet.” Sara chuckles as she reaches down to scoop Silver up. “When you get older, your mom and I will tell you all about that insane day.”

 

Silver pouts up at her, “When will I be older?”

 

“Not for a long time.”

 

Alex smiles at the chorus of voices that shout out the answer. This is nice, it’s nice being surrounded by her friends and family. This time there’s no pressure for perfection, there isn’t paparazzi stalking Lena or an alien burning down buildings. No, it’s just the closet people in her life sitting around watching her open gifts and sipping on beer.

 

“Oh.” Alex squeaks.

 

Snart perks up at her noise, “Are you okay?”

 

“Yeah, little bean is just up and moving.” Alex replies as she reaches a hand out towards Snart. “Would you like to feel?”

 

“Well, how could I decline?” Snart draws as he reaches out to rest a gentle hand on Alex’s stomach and his eyes immediately go wide. “Rory, you have to feel this.”

 

Mick scowls as he looks to the crowd, “Huh?”

 

“The baby. You have to come feel the baby.” Snart explains as he looks to his partner with wide, wondering eyes. “This is amazing. There’s a child growing inside of Alex.”

 

“So?” Mick sneers as he takes a long pull of the beer in his hand. “The last thing I want to feel is that thing squirming around.”

 

“What’s wrong, Mick? Scared of my kid? Afraid he’s going to kick your ass already?” Sara teases as she looks to the man. “Understandable. My boy is going to be a strong one.”

 

Mick rolls his eyes, “Whatever you say, boss.”

 

“Alright, alright. No tension around the baby.” Winn orders as he holds his hands up. “It’s not good for Alex to be stressed.”

 

Mick grumbles as everyone continues to stare at him and he finally slams his bottle down on the counter and moves towards Alex. If his hand falls a little to rough on her abdomen, Alex doesn’t show it. Instead she takes his hand and smoothes it over her bump until he feels a steady thrum against his hand. A laugh sounds through the room as Mick’s jaw drops slightly and his eyes gaze darts to stare down at Alex’s baby bump.

 

Snart claps him on the back with a smirk, “What’s the matter, pal? Cat got your tongue?”

 

Mick isn’t entirely sure what to make of the sensation of tiny feet repeatedly bouncing against his hand. Finally, he draws his hand back and his usual scowl replaces his look of surprise as he stands to make his way back to his beer. Alex smiles after him and winks playfully at Sara as her own hand falls to calm her son down.

 

“What the fuck is in your gut, nerd?” Mick scoffs as he takes a hard swallow of his beer. “That thing is in their boxing your organs around.”

 

“That _thing_ is a boy. Our son.” Sara snaps.

 

“Well, he has a mean kick.” Mick shrugs. “Kid is gonna be a badass, boss.”

 

“Ah, finally something we agree on.”

 

As the guests continue to mingle, Alex struggles to stand from the couch as she sees J’onn popping the top of a beer in the kitchen. With ease, Alex waddles her way towards the man and smiles at him as his dark eyes brighten at the sight of her. Like so many times before, J’onn releases a laugh of disbelief at the sight of Alex swollen and glowing.

 

“Can I talk to you?” Alex asks in a soft whisper.

 

J’onn smiles adoringly at her, “Of course.”

 

“Do you remember when Silver was born and she got really sick?” Alex begins, and J’onn furrows his brow with a nod. “You stayed up with her when Sara and I couldn’t keep our eyes open. You counted her breaths, listened to her heartbeats, and rocked her when she cried.”

 

“She has me wrapped around her finger. Much like her mother.” J’onn teases, and he softens at the anxiety on Alex’s face. “Alex, talk to me.”

 

“You love my daughter and treat her like she’s your own granddaughter. And in a way...I guess she kinda is.” Alex breathes out as she slowly locks their gazes. “I-I want you to feel the same way about my son, and I was hoping you’d be okay with us giving him the middle name Jonathan.”

 

J’onn pauses in shock, “What?”

 

“His first name is going to be Quinn, after Sara’s father. And I want my boy to have a strong name, a name that means something.” Alex explains. “ _You_ mean something, J’onn. I want my son to carry that with him, carry _you_ with him.”

 

“Alex,” J’onn clears his throat as he looks to her with misty eyes. “I think this time you’re going to have to let me cry.”

 

“Is that a yes?” Alex murmurs.

 

J’onn gives a watery laugh as he pulls Alex into his arms and allows his warm tears to fall, “It would be an honor, Alex.”

 

“I can’t wait for Quinn _Jonathan_ Lance to meet you. He’s going to love you.” Alex sniffles as she burrows into his arms. “Just like I do.”

 

-

 

“Hey, I’m open!”

 

Silver glances slowly towards Kara who is waving her arms over head in silent invitation. With a scoff, the child ignores her aunt and pushes off the concrete to rush towards the basketball goal. Right as Silver goes to jump, strong arms wrap at her waist and she squeals as she is swung around. With a giggle, Silver struggles to free herself as the figure behind her finally stops spinning and glances down at her with an exaggerated pout.

 

“Foul!” Silver yells. “You can’t pick people up.”

 

“Hey, you were about to make a shot.” Kara points out as she sets her back on the ground. “Little one, the idea of you and Lena beating me at this game makes me sad.”

 

“You were the one who chose to play on your own, you can’t fault your niece for being good.” Lena smirks as she offers the child a water bottle. “We won, we were up by two points.”

 

“That’s crap.” Kara whines, but the sound dies away as Lena elbows her in the side. “Hey, no spousal abuse! What was that for?”

 

“It was for your language. I’ve told you to watch it around her.” Lena reminds her. “Alex and Sara told you she’s practically a sponge and they really don’t want to get another call from the daycare about her language. And she needs to clean it up so she doesn’t have another incident.”

 

“I said shoot, Auntie Lena!”

 

“That’s not what Mr. Ellis said.” Lena hums as she arches an eyebrow. “How about you head in and get washed up? Your mom called and asked if we could let you stay over. You get to have a sleepover tonight with us...how does that sound?”

 

Silver furrows her brow as she looks past Lena and Kara, her eyes slowly narrow before she huffs loudly at the sight before her. Kara stares at her niece and trades a glance with Lena before both women turn to follow her gaze as a squealing little boy zooms by on a bike with his father a few feet behind. The women once again swap looks before they look back to Silver who watches him with a pout on her face as she rolls her eyes.

 

“He doesn’t have training wheels on.” Silver softly mumbles as she continues to stare at the boy before she looks up at Kara. “Can I learn how to ride my bike without training wheels?”

 

“I don’t know, little one.” Kara begins in a hesitant tone. “Learning without your training wheels is kinda hard. Are you sure you’re ready?”

 

“I wanna surprise mama and mommy!”

 

“If you’re sure.” Kara grins as she leans down to swoop an arm around the girl’s waist before she hoists her over her shoulder and throws a look to Lena. “What do you think about that, babe? Think she can handle it?”

 

“Isn’t it a little early?” Lena frowns.

 

“Jeremiah taught me as soon as he could, and Sara said she’s doesn’t know how to ride a bike so she can’t teach her.” Kara shrugs. “She’s ready. Aren’t you ready?”

 

“I’m ready, Auntie Lena!”

 

Lena smiles adoringly at the pouting pair, “Fine, but she has to be completely geared up at all times. I’m talking elbow pads, knee pads, a helmet, gloves, and goggles.”

 

“Goggles?” Kara repeats.

 

“I don’t want a flying bug to get caught…”

 

Kara cuts her off with a kiss, “You’re going to be an amazing mom, Lena.”

 

“Nice distraction tactic.” Lena chuckles.

 

By the time they’re able to get Silver in bed, Kara is bouncing off the wall. She rambles on about surprising Alex and Lena listens with a smile; she can’t help but picture this a few years from now, except it’ll be _their_ child learning. After hours of mindless chatter, Lena and Kara drift off with their arms around and each other and smiles on their faces. Morning comes all too soon, and as the sun is creeps through the blinds, Kara slides out off the bed and tiptoes down the hallway to where Silver is sleeping sprawled across the bed.

 

“Rise and shine, little one.”

 

The sound of the voice barely breaks through the sleepiness she knows her niece feels, and Silver simply huffs as she shakes her head and curls back into her pillow. A moment later, the sentence is repeated and Silver flutters her eyes open and jumps in surprise as she is met with a bright smile and excited blue eyes. As soon as she sees wide eyes, Kara laughs as she reaches out to yank her sheets back, and the five-year-old groans in protest as she reaches to pull them over her head.

 

“Come on, little one. You’re learning to ride a bike today.” Kara reminds her as she once again gives the purple sheets a tug. “I mean, unless you don’t want to anymore...”

 

“I do.” Silver assures her through a yawn as she sits up tiredly with a scowl. “Auntie Kara, why do we have to get up so early?”

 

“I want to get an early start.” Kara explains as she reaches down to scoop the exhausted girl up. “It’s going to take a while and I want to make sure you learn today.”

 

Silver snuggles into her, “Okay.”

 

Kara holds her sleepy niece in her arms for a few minutes, allows her to wake up and fight her way through the fog of her thoughts. She loves moments like these, the little moments when it’s her and the beautiful girl Alex brought into the world. She can’t wait for days like these with her own kids, days with Lena and their precious baby. After a few minutes, the child finally squirms her way free and yawns as she scratches at her stomach before she vanishes into the closet to grab a pair of shorts and a yellow lace blouse.

 

“Grab a t-shirt, little one. I don’t want you getting dirty, okay?” Kara frowns as she turns to make the bed, the child grunts in acknowledgement as she reaches out for one of Kara’s abandoned Star Wars t-shirt. “Much better.”

 

The pair quickly scarf down a small breakfast of poptarts and chocolate milk before Kara flashes Silver a wink and leads her outside. Beside her, Silver bounces happily as she hurries after her aunt into the garage to gather the Spiderman bike she keeps at their house; the child bounces on her toes as she watches Kara open the garage door before she rolls the bike onto the driveway and drops a few tools at her feet.

 

“You sure you’re ready?” Kara asks as she kneels beside the bike and begins to unscrew the training wheels while Silver fidgets. “You don’t have to learn to ride just because that boy did.”

 

“No. I wanna learn.” Silver assures her with a quick shake of her head. “Hadley says that her and her dad go on bike rides all the time, I want to go on bike rides too. But I don’t want to be a baby with my training wheels.”

 

“You’re not a baby.” Kara assures her as she takes a wheel off before she sets it aside and moves to work on the other. “It’s okay to want to be careful. Your mommy didn’t have her training wheels off until she was nine y’know?”

 

Silver shrugs, “I’m ready to learn now. It’ll be fun.”

 

“Hopefully you’ll still think that after you’ve fallen off a couple times.” Kara sighs as she removes the last wheel before she gathers them and sets them in the garage. “Okay, little one. Time to gear up because your aunt and moms will kill us if you don’t.”

 

“It’s so much to put on, Auntie Kara. I don’t need all of it, I’ll be okay.” Silver whines as her aunt hands her pink riding gear, the child yanks on her elbow and knee guards.

 

“Better safe than sorry, little one. I’d prefer that you don’t damage any of your tiny body parts. You’re kinda important to me.” Kara teases as she presses a helmet to Silver’s head. “Ready?”

 

“Ready!”

 

Silver races towards her bike and Kara is close at her heels, the woman stands it upright and watches as the five-year-old wiggles onto it. For a moment, she allows Silver to get comfortable and watches with a careful eye as her tiny feet find the pedals before she looks up at Kara with wide eyes. A nervous breath leaves her as Kara carefully steadies the bike and she glances down at the child; she sees the sudden hesitation and the fear that sparks in her niece’s gaze.

 

“Hey, don’t be afraid. I won’t let you go until you tell me to.” Kara assures her as she presses a kiss to her chubby cheek. “All you have to do is pedal and I’ll hold the bike, okay? When you’re ready, just tell me to let go and I will.”

 

“What if I don’t want you to ever let go?”

 

“I guess I’ll be holding on forever then.” Kara shrugs as she looks at her niece and sees the smile that slides across her face. “You’ve got this, little one. I’ll be right beside you.”

 

Silver nods and sucks in a breath as she nods her consent to go. With a hard swallow, Kara slowly begins to push Silver down the driveway before she turns them onto the sidewalk while Silver sluggishly tries to keep up with the pedals. The two continue down the quiet sidewalk before Silver feels a sudden bout of confidence, the five-year-old begins to pedal faster and Kara jogs alongside her beaming niece with a laugh of happiness.

 

“Auntie Kara, you can let go!”

 

Kara isn’t sure why she feels her heart sink at the words, she isn’t sure why tears well in her eyes. Maybe it’s because this is her sister’s daughter, this is Alex’s whole world, and here she is telling her to let go. Telling her she can do it. Kara can’t help but grip the seat until she feels the metal bend slightly while her feet struggle to keep up with the quick pushes of her niece’s feet as she stares ahead of her with a determined expression.

 

“Auntie Kara, let go!”

 

This time, Kara gives in and releases the little girl and watches as she carries away down the street with a push of the pedals. Kara feels a swell of pride grow in her chest as she stares after her niece who continues to bike down the sidewalk. With a laugh of approval, Kara gives a clap and Silver chances a glance over her shoulder; her bright eyes shine with excitement until her front wheel wobbles and she falls over with a cry of surprise.

 

“Silver!”

 

Silver is so tiny, at least she is in Kara’s eyes. She was born a few weeks early and it seems she hasn’t quite gained any of Alex’s lanky form quite yet. So the sight of her small niece on the ground causes a rush of emotions to burst through her as she takes off down the sidewalk with wide eyes. A few feet away, the little girl struggles to sit up as she pushes her helmet back in place and looks up to watch as her aunt runs to her.

 

“You okay?” Kara demands as she pulls the bike off her niece and glances to the cut on her chin. “You have a cut, Silver. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

 

“No!” Silver giggles. “Go again?”

 

“What?” Kara laughs as her eyes go wide with surprise while her niece beams up at her. “Are you sure about this?”

 

“Yup. Mama says you gotta get back up whenever you fall.” Silver chirps as she jumps up to climb back onto her bike. “Don’t hold on, okay?”

 

Kara slowly backs away to watch as Silver gets a few feet away only to tip over again, “Okay?”

 

“I can do it.” Silver assures her.

 

The game of falling and starting over lasts for a solid hour before Kara watches as Silver whizzes by on her bike. The child turns are still unstable, but the laughter and squeals she releases are enough to settle Kara’s nerves. With a bright smile, Kara leans back on her hands in the middle of the driveway with a look of amazement as her niece quickly rides back and forth in front of her before a shadow casts itself over her form.

 

“You didn’t wake me up.” Lena frowns as she lowers herself to sit beside her fiancée. “You should have woken me up, I wanted to be here to see her ride for the first time.”

 

“I took a thousand pictures and videos for Alex and Sara.” Kara assures her. “I didn’t want to wake you up because I know you would’ve been too fussy over her, and she needs to be strong.”

 

“She’s five.” Lena scoffs.

 

“Yeah, but look at her go.” Kara grins with a nod towards Silver. “She wouldn’t have been so brave with a ton of people watching her, even Alex agreed when I asked if it was okay last night.”

 

“Fine.” Lena huffs.

 

“You’re cute.” Kara grins as she leans forward to kiss away her fiancée’s pout. “She needs people to hover sometimes, but other times she needs people to be brave and tell her to just do it.”

 

“Well, it seems like you’ve accomplished a huge task this morning.” Lena hums as they both turn to look at Silver biking towards them. “Good morning, funny bunny.”

 

“Hi, Auntie Lena,” Silver beams. “Did you see me?”

 

“I did.” Lena nods as she stands up to move towards her, the woman unbuckles the pink helmet to sweep a hand through her hair. “You were doing such a good job out there. I’m proud of you.”

 

“Auntie Kara wanted to hold on, but I made her let me go.” Silver chirps as she glances up at Lena while her gaze shines. “I told her to let go and I fell off, but I got right back on. I can peddle super fast, Auntie Lena. Faster than Auntie Kara can fly.”

 

Lena laughs as she snaps Silver’s helmet back on with a soft pat, “Oh? Why don’t you show me?”

 

“Okay!”

 

“Careful!” Lena orders, but her words are lost as Silver pedals away. “Something tells me we’re going to be out here for a while, at least until Alex comes to get her.”

 

Kara shrugs, “Fine by me.”

 

“Auntie Lena, watch!”

 

Kara can’t keep the smile from her face as she stares at Lena, she sees the pure love that shines on her fiancée’s face as they both watch the child ride her bike; as they sit there and the neighborhood wakes up around them, they bask in the sound of Silver’s laughter and plans for the future ahead of them; a future with their own child.

 

-

 

Alex is bored and lonely.

 

Sara is back on the Waverider, her sister is busy flying through the city, Lena is at a charity event, Silver is at school, and the rest of her friends are busy living their lives. So, here she is. Alone. With a sigh, she moves towards the kitchen and grumbles as she digs out a roll of chocolate chip cookie dough that she and Silver have been eating all week. As she spoons bites into her mouth, a pout appears on her face as she stares emotionlessly towards the staircase where Barbie’s are spread out.

 

With a wince, Alex drops her spoon as the baby shifts in her stomach. For a moment, he flips and moves before he settles and begins a flurry of rapid kicks. As soon as Alex begins to relax, the baby moves once more and Alex groans as she grabs a hold of the counter and squeezes until her knuckles are white. The pain runs down her back and she feels her knees shake as she leans forward to rest her forehead on the cool granite as she tries to think about anything other than the pain.

 

“Little bean, I need you to calm down.” Alex pleads with another loud groan. “I don’t know what you’re doing in there, but I need you to stop.”

 

Finally, the baby stops and she takes the moment to return the cookie dough to the fridge before she waddles towards the couch. A sigh of relief pushes through her parted lips as she collapses back on the soft cushions and stretches back. This pregnancy is exhausting, and all Alex wants to do is sleep; but unfortunately having a child to take care of refrains her from doing that. She loves being pregnant, loves the knowledge that is protecting her son as he grows, but she can’t wait for it to be over. As her eyes flutter shut, she feels a sharp pain and releases a wheeze of a breath as her hand immediately moves to fall on her stomach.

 

Alex goes still as she tries to will her son to calm down. She knows this feeling, she remembers it on that Saturday evening when Silver had decided she was ready to greet the world. Yet this is different, this is too early, the baby still has another two months. But then she hears it, she hears that familiar chant of the doctor reminding her that when the baby was ready, the baby would come. But he can’t be ready, not yet. He can’t, Alex refuses to allow him to come now.

 

“No. No, sir. You stay right where you are.”

 

And then she feels it, the feeling of a harsh rip in her lower abdomen. Alex knows, it’s time. With a pained moan, Alex struggles for the phone shoved in her pocket and fumbles over the buttons as she calls Kara. When she doesn’t answer, she tries Lena. It doesn’t surprise her that Lena doesn’t answer, but she is shocked when Winn doesn’t. Neither does James, J’onn, or even Maggie. As each phone calls to voicemail, her anxiety rises as she continues to call her sister in hopes for her to pick up.

 

Kara isn’t following the plan, they had this planned. Her sister is supposed to be here, she’s supposed to be taking Alex to the hospital while Lena picks up Silver. Nothing is going as it should, her son is throwing everything off course. All she can think about is the complications, the things that could go wrong. With a deep breath, Alex tries to calm herself by thinking about how excited Sara is going to be and how amazing if an older sister Silver will be. Just as Alex feels the dread sinking in, she hears a soft voice answer and Alex can’t help but release a sob of relief.

 

_“Alex?”_

 

“Lucy!” Alex whimpers as she leans back on the couch and presses a hand to her stomach. “I need you here, Lane.”

 

_“Well, Danvers. I never thought you’d be one for an affair. As flattered as I am, your wife scares me so I’m going to have to pass on…”_

 

“Lucy! I’m in labor. Get here.”

 

Alex is a little amazed by how fast Lucy manages to get to the house, and a huff of a laugh leaves her as the normally stoic agent tumbles into the house. For all the years that Alex has had the pleasure of being friends with Lucy, this is the first time she has witnessed her so frazzled. Lucy tries to get words out as she practically crawls towards Alex, and all Alex can do is calmly stand and attempt to grab her hospital bag. Halfway to the bag, she stops short as a pain rips through her and she uses the table to steady herself as she looks over her shoulder.

 

“Luce, we need to go…”

 

“Should I call Kara to fly you? Oh! Shit! Do I need to call an ambulance?” Lucy demands as she rushes towards her. “I-I don’t think I know how to deliver a baby...isn’t it too early?”

 

“Yes. It is. I don’t want to think about it.” Alex grumbles as she clenches her jaw. “These contractions are too close together.”

 

“Okay. Okay. It’s gonna be okay.” Lucy assures her with a sympathetic frown. “Um, can you make it out to the car or should I carry you?”

 

“Like I would trust those spaghetti arms to carry me safely to the car.” Alex scoffs as she slams a palm against the wall with a whimper. “We need to get this show on the road.”

 

“Yeah. Okay. Where’s your better half?” Lucy asks as she shoulders Alex’s hospital bag and takes her hand to lead her to the door. “Is she on her way? Have you called her?”

 

Alex takes small steps with a wince, “She’s... _fuck_. She’s on the Waverider, Kara will call her as soon as she can. I left a message for Kara to meet us at the hospital.”

 

“I’m glad I decided not to ignore your call.”

 

“Shut up.” Alex laughs as she leans back against Lucy with a harsh breath. “I’m glad you didn’t ignore my call too.”

 

-

 

Sara seriously wonders why half of her missions always end up turning to shit. Currently, she is being bounced against walls by a pissed off cowboy who is drunk of whiskey and adrenaline. With a growl, Sara pushes him away and chances a glance back at her team to see that most of them are managing to hold their own. She can’t help but roll her eyes as she manages to avoid colliding with Nate as he soars through the air and tumbles across the dirt and right into Jax’s lap.

 

“Okay, that wasn’t fair!”

 

“Nate, now isn’t exactly the time to be talking about fair.” Jax grunts as he helps his teammate up. “But now is definitely the time we could use a little bit of your manly steel.”

 

Nate smirks, “That sounded dirty.”

 

“Get out of here, man.”

 

Nate beams goofily at Jax as he bounces his way back into the fight. As he slams two heads together, he feels a vibration in his pocket and he scowls in confusion. With a slight struggle, he manages to hunt down the source of the vibration and he accepts the unknown Facetime request. The puzzlement grows as he is met with a glitchy version of Winn and he immediately sees the fear written clearly on his face.

 

“Winn?”

 

_“...hear...there?”_

 

Nate scowls as he tilts his head, “Winn?”

 

_“Can you...me…?”_

 

“Kind of.” Nate scoffs. “What do you want?”

 

_“Sara!”_

 

“Well, then you tapped into the wrong phone, my friend.” Nate chuckles as he swings an arm to collide with a man’s abdomen. “I’ll toss you over to Sara, save you the trouble of hacking.”

 

Nate doesn’t bother to pay attention to Winn’s protest as he calls out for Jax who catches the soaring iPhone in the last second. Jax rolls beneath an arm and turns his attention to the image of Winn who looks at him with panicked confusion. With a shrug, Jax calls for Amaya and tosses the iPhone to her in time to receive a punch to the gut. The phone falls to the dusty street as Amaya gasps and tries to dodge the combination of punches and throws that the cowboy is currently sending her way.

 

_“Amaya, if I may…”_

 

“I don’t have time for this.” Amaya grumbles as she sweeps the man’s legs from beneath him. “Winn, why are you Facetiming us?”

 

_“I need Sara!”_

 

Amaya scoops the phone up and knees the man in the face, “We’re seriously in the middle of rescuing Alexander Hamilton. Would you like to be the reason these time pirates keep us from doing that?”

 

_“Well, no. But…”_

 

“Winn, I’m giving you to Ray. Bye.”

 

Ray zips by and widens his eyes in surprise as Amaya gives him an iPhone and he lights up as he is met with the sight of Winn. As he opens his mouth to speak, he feels a foot collide with the back of his knee and he pouts as he sets the phone aside in favor of wrapping his arm around the attacker’s neck and pulling his face down to meet his knee. With a sigh of contentment, Ray drops his unconscious form and leans down to smile at Winn.

 

“What’s up, Winn?” Ray chirps.

 

_“I need Sara!”_

 

Ray glances over towards Sara, “Uh, no can do. It looks like the boss is in the middle of...yep, she’s breaking his arm.”

 

_“Ray, this is important! Like, important enough that I will be murdered if I don’t tell Sara now. So, please give her the phone.”_

 

“Fine, fine.” Ray sighs. “Mick, give this to Sara!”

 

_“No, don’t...and I’m being thrown.”_

 

Mick huffs as he sees Winn, “Eyebrows.”

 

_“Mick.”_

 

“Go away.” Mick mumbles as he drops the phone.

 

_“Hello? Mick, come back! Hello!”_

 

“Winn, how are you?” Snart beams as he grabs a hold of the phone. “What are you doing calling at a time like this, buddy?”

 

_“Look, it’s an emergency. I need Sara.”_

 

“Well, you should’ve said so in the first place.” Snart beams as he lifts his head. “Zari, toss this over to captain. It’s Winn.”

 

Snart gives Winn a quick wink before he frisbee throws him and Zari just barely manages to catch him as she leans back to avoid a leg. No words are traded between the pair, but Zari is quick to flash Winn a look of irritation as she fights way through a herd of weapon wielding cowboys and her pissed off teammates. Eventually, Zari makes it to Sara and she doesn’t bother explaining anything as she thrusts the phone to her captain and focuses on taking out the immediate threat to Alexander Hamilton’s life.

 

Sara scowls, “Winn?”

 

_“Sara! Finally!”_

 

“You and Kara have the most inconvenient timing. What do you want?” Sara demands as she juggles the phone and her staff. “And this better be really important because I…”

 

_“Alex is in labor!”_

 

Sara falters in shock, “Excuse me?”

 

_“Alex is in labor, she went into labor an hour ago. Lucy took her to the hospital, but things are a mess. Kara is with her now, but she texted me to tell you to get her as soon as you can.”_

 

“Winn, I don’t understand.” Sara grunts, and she glares at a man while her staff collides with the back of his head. “What’s going on?”

 

_“Just get here, Sara. And get here quick.”_

 

As Sara continues to fight, she hopes she can get their quick enough.


	8. all good things come to an end

Sara fights harder. She runs faster. She puts everything she has into each punch as she thinks of her wife, thinks of how scared she must be. By the time they all clamber back onto the Waverider, her heart is in her throat and all she can do is pace nervously as they race through time. She can’t believe that her son is almost here, but the other part of her is terrified because that means he’s early. Quinton is early, too early. It isn’t time. It’s too soon. Suddenly, she isn’t so excited anymore.

 

“We can feel your anxiety from here, cap.”

 

Sara looks towards Jax, “Can you blame me?”

 

“Of course not.” Amaya cuts in. “We understand.”

 

“He’s early. Too early.” Sara whispers as she nervously chews at her lower lip. “Alex and I aren’t ready, I still have another month on the ship to prepare for.”

 

“Bullshit.” Mick scoffs as he appears with a bottle clutched in his hand. “We all took a vote, and we’re ready for you to get as far as fuck from this ship as you can.”

 

“And we’re ready to go too.” Nate chirps.

 

“It isn’t that easy. Do you really think the Time Bureau is going to care that we’re ready to go? Do you think they’ll just let us leave?” Sara replies with a roll of her eyes. “There’s paperwork and shit we have to swim through first.”

 

“So we’ll fill out the papers.” Snart shrugs. “We’ll follow protocol and do things right for once, but in the end we’ll be free. We all deserve to have a future, to live our lives.”

 

Sara ducks her head, “Once we split up, that’s it. It’ll probably be the last time we see each other. Our team will be gone. Forever.”

 

“Forever is a long time.” Snart hums. “But we deserve it, don’t we? We deserve a chance to be normal, to enjoy our lives. I know for a fact that I am more than ready to go home to my man.”

 

“I think I’m ready to settle down.” Nate nods, and Sara sees the way he looks at Amaya. “I want to have a family like you do, I want to be a cool soccer dad and stuff.”

 

“And Lily isn’t going to wait forever.” Jax frowns.

 

“So, as you can see, everyone is ready to let go. It’s time we say goodbye.” Snart smiles. “What do you say, captain?”

 

As Sara looks around, she can already feel the line that binds them together is slowly loosening. She can feel them all letting go one by one, and she knows it’s on her to untie the last knot. So, she does. One look at the group, and they release harsh sighs and blink away their tears. It’s time to move on, it’s time to settle down. Just as the Waverider touches down on Earth 38 and the doors part with a hiss, Sara stands before her team one last time and gives them a watery smile.

 

“I say that I have the most amazing team, and I’m so lucky that I got to do this with you guys.” Sara replies after a beat of silence. “Thank you. For everything.”

 

“And thank _you_. For being our captain.” Zari smiles.

 

Snart slings an arm around her shoulders and gives her a playful shake, “Now, what do you say we go welcome Little Lance into the world?”

 

-

 

The doctors tell her to get some rest. Winn offers her cups of coffee. Kara and Lena keep her updated on Silver. Her father fusses, Eliza paces. Everyone is moving around, but to her it just seems like a huge blur. Everyone is doing everything they can to keep her calm, but she can’t find it in herself to act on it. The woman she loves is suffering, laid in a hospital bed with wires attached to her and a child that is a month and a half early. So, Sara doesn’t want to rest; all Sara wants is for her wife to smile and tell her everything will be okay.

 

Sara remembers this feeling, she felt exactly the same internal fear during Alex’s first pregnancy. But all of this? This is all different. Her wife and son are in danger, and there’s no calming her down from acknowledging that. The only thing that keeps her sane is the sound of her son’s heartbeat; it thumps evenly through the room speakers and soothes Alex into a restless sleep. So, Sara clings to that and watches her wife’s face as her nose twitches every few seconds in exhaustion.

 

The soft curl of Alex’s pulse catches her attention and she glances up to watch as eyelashes flutter slowly. Sara knows Alex is in pain, she can see it every time her wife so much as shifts in bed. With a sigh, Sara watches as Alex turns to look at her and forces a smile. The two stare at one another and mouth soft greetings before Alex settles a protective hand on her swollen abdomen and bites her lip to try to hold back her tears.

 

“Hey, what do you need me to do?” Sara asks as she leans her chin on the rail of the bed. “Just tell me what you need and I’ll get it for you.”

 

“Sara, he’s too little. I had one simple job, I just had to keep him safe for nine months and I failed. It’s too soon, Sara.” Alex whimpers. “I should’ve taken it easy, I should’ve listened to you.”

 

“Babe, this isn’t uncommon. Babies can be born early and still be okay, and Quinn is going to be just fine.” Sara assures her. “We’re going to have our boy and everything will be fine.”

 

The medication swims freely through Alex’s bloodstream and Sara watches on with an adoring smile as her wife furrows her brow in confusion. Alex allows her eyes to flutter shut, but they open moments later as her stomach lurches and a loud gag leaves her. Immediately, Sara is on guard as she watches in rapt attention as Alex struggles to swallow down her growing bile.

 

“Are you okay? I’m going to get the doctor…”

 

“No. Please. No.” Alex begs as she reaches a hand out to Sara. “I know they’re all going to come in here soon and I don’t want that. They’re going to crowd me and try to make sense of this and I’m not ready for all of that.”

 

Sara is hesitant, but she eventually settles back in her chair with a sigh. Silence fills the room as Alex rubs her stomach before Sara’s hand joins hers, and both women rest their palms against her swollen abdomen. Their moment is broken as the door swings open and Dr. Grayson bustles in with Eliza close on her heels. As soon as Eliza looks to Alex, the woman releases a sob as she sees the slight worry in her mother’s gaze.

 

“Hi, sweetheart. Kara just called to tell me Silver is taking a nap.” Eliza whispers as she approaches her daughter. “How are you feeling? Are the painkillers helping?”

 

“I’m so tired.” Alex croaks.

 

“Well, it seems like your little guy is enjoying keeping us on our toes.” Dr. Grayson smirks as she looks over Alex’s chart. “We’re definitely going to have to do something about that.”

 

“I think he’s just impatient. I can definitely tell you where he gets _that_ from.” Alex laughs, but it fades off into a wince. “I feel off. It feels like I just ran a few marathons and then drank a gallon of Monsters.”

 

Dr. Grayson hums at the comment, “Terbutaline has that effect. We’re hoping the medication we’re running will slow your contractions. We’ll get you going on something else soon.”

 

“Her sister told me she’s having headaches.” Sara chirps.

 

“Side effect from her blood pressure. It’s a little on the high side, but it’s lowering.” Dr. Grayson assures her with a comforting smile. “Don’t worry, we’re keeping a close eye on it.”

 

Alex tries to focus on the conversation, but it all becomes a distant buzz. The edge of her vision slowly begins to blur with a dark edge, and she is quick to blink it away. It’s only when the machines around her begin to blare that she realizes something is definitely wrong. Alex struggles out a gasp as she leans forward with a choked cough, and Sara dives for a nearby bucket that she barely manages to tuck under her wife’s chin before she begins to spill the contents of her stomach.

 

“Hey, Alex,” Sara whispers. “What’s going on?”

 

“Her blood pressure is climbing. It’s the medication, the dosage is too high.” Eliza snaps as she avoids the nurses that spill in.

 

The bodies swarm around her, and Sara struggles to stay by Alex’s side. Her wild, terrified eyes bounce to the monitors as she tries to will away the image before her. Alex tenses on the bed, her face pinched with pain, and Sara watches as her body goes slack and her head lulls to the side. And then all hell breaks loose, and Sara finds herself being shoved aside as a nurse shouts out words she can’t understand and the doctor responds with a calm, even tone.

 

Sara tries to speak, tries to yell out for everyone to just _stop_ , but a nurse pulls the covers back on Alex’s body and her entire world shatters. With a gasp of shock, Sara presses her forearm to her nose as she sees the darkening pool of blood staining the sheets. With one look at the blood, the bed is pushed from where it is braked and Sara stumbles back as a nurse accidentally crashes into her.

 

“Get an OR ready. Tell them we have a placental abruption.”

 

Sara shakes her head, “What does that mean?”

 

“T-The placental lining separated from the uterus. The baby is coming, and he’s coming _now_.” Eliza replies in a thick tone.

 

“You have to go with her…”

 

“I can’t, Sara.”

 

“But…” Sara trails off and manages to catch Dr. Grayson’s arms, and she looks back to her with a slight frown. “If it comes down to it, save her. _Please_. Please save Alex. There will be other babies, but there won’t be another her.”

 

And just like that, her wife is wheeled away and Sara is left to hit her knees.

 

-

 

Sara hates waiting. She has the patience of a toddler, and all she can do now is pace rapidly through the waiting room. The room buzzes with voices as the waft of coffee fills her senses and she glances up to see Kara and Lena handing out coffee cups to everyone. Kara approaches as she hands the last cup to James, and Sara swallows at the worry she sees shining in blue eyes; so far, Kara has been pretty much kept out of the loop as to keep her calm. But now? Now, Sara has to deal the devastating news that Alex was in trouble, that her nephew was in distress.

 

“They took her into surgery.” Sara rasps out before Kara can speak. “It’s...Kara, it’s not good. Your mom said she’ll give us as many updates as she can, but so far I’ve heard nothing.”

 

Kara’s eyes well, “Sara…”

 

“Don’t. Don’t do that right now. I just...I can’t. I need to focus on calming my frustration and worry because if I don’t then I’m going to break down and it won’t be pretty.” Sara breathes. “You don’t want to get caught up in the middle of that.”

 

Kara shakes her head as she reaches out to rest a comforting hand on Sara’s bicep, “I’m perfectly alright with getting caught up in your storm, I think I can handle it.”

 

“Kara.” Sara whispers. “ _Please_.”

 

“Sara, it’s _me_. You can break down and…”

 

“No. No, I refuse. Breaking down means I’m giving up and I’m _not_. I have the strongest wife in the world, in _any_ world, and she’s going to pull through. And so is my son.” Sara snaps. “I refuse to even _think_ about losing them.”

 

“Then at least come sit down, I brought you coffee and a drawing from Silver.” Kara smiles. “She’s really excited to be a big sister, we left her with Lucy.”

 

Sara breathes out and nods, she trails Kara to a seat and drops in with a defeated sigh. Her hands shake as she takes a warm coffee cup and accepts the drawing in her other hand. Immediately, tears well in her eyes as she looks down at the crayon figures of herself, Silver, and Alex holding a bundle. It’s her family, the three people she loves more than anything. With a hard swallow, Sara focuses her attention on the drawing and memorizes every inch of it until it’s fully embedded in her mind, and only then does she sink in her chair and rest.

 

As the day slowly melts into night, Iris and Barry tell them they have to go home to check on Nora while Maggie gives her a small nod before she leaves for her shift. The waiting room turns down in volume until they’re sitting lost in their memories of Alex. Just as the madness slips into Sara’s mind, the flutter of blue catches her attention and Sara is up on her feet and rushing towards the door where the Pediatric surgeon removes her mask to reveal a bright smile. A calm rushes over Sara, it makes her melt back as she feels hands steady her and she smiles gratefully at Jax.

 

“A beautiful little boy was born twelve minutes ago. He’s perfect.” Dr. Grayson chirps. “The surgery was a success, your son is here

 

Sara sniffles happily, “I’m a mom?”

 

“You’re already a mom.” Snart scoffs, and he tries to hide his misty eyes. “Now you have two little brats to chase around.”

 

“And Alex?” Lena demands.

 

“She’s resting.” Dr. Grayson responds, and a breath of relief leaves everyone. “Her body is exhausted, she’ll be out for awhile but I know there’s a baby waiting for his mother.”

 

“What? No. I can’t.” Sara scoffs as she quickly shakes her head. “I can’t meet him for the first time without Alex, we’re supposed to meet him for the first time _together_.”

 

Dr. Grayson softens, “He needs you.”

 

Sara hesitates for a moment longer before she nods, she knows Alex would want her to be with their son. Her entire heart pounds in her chest as she trails behind Dr. Grayson and thinks of how this day has gone; she was so scared, so scared to lose Alex. She has never loved anyone as much as the nerdy woman that she met on a whim at a wedding. She has built a life with that woman, and for a moment she almost lost it all. The anxiety coils in her stomach as she thinks about it, thinks of never feeling Alex giggle into a kiss or slide into Sara’s arms. To never see her play with Silver, never witness her holding Quinn.

 

As they approach the NICU, Sara feels her stomach bottom out as she peers through the glass to see the somber people inside. Her eyes well with tears because her son is here, he isn’t with Alex and that kills her. They planned this day, planned it right down to the outfit that they were both going to wear. This was supposed to be happy, supposed to be a breeze. It was never supposed to fall apart the way it has. She barely hears Dr. Grayson instructing her to gown up, but she goes through the motions and eagerly follows behind the woman.

 

“The baby has tubing in his nose, just for a little oxygen. His breathing was a little shallow.” Dr. Grayson warns as she steps slowly towards the doors. “He’s in an incubator to keep warm, and he’s small.”

 

Dr. Grayson pushes the door open with an elbow as she stepped into the room and Sara swallows hard at the sound of the multiple machines tracking the heartbeats of the infants trapped in tiny incubators. Sara stumbles over her feet as she is led to a small box, and her heart swells at the sight of the small body inside. A tear tracks down her cheek as she stares at the tiny infant that lays peacefully on a cot with his tiny covers over his eyes and wires wrapped around his body.

 

“He’s so small.” Sara murmurs as she drops into a seat beside the incubator. “He wasn’t even born that early…he’s so small.”

 

“He’s going to get bigger, and healthier.” Dr. Grayson assures her.

 

Sara reaches out to open a small hole and she reaches a shaking finger into the incubator and rubs it along soft skin. It amazes her as a tiny hand curls around the tip of her finger, and she can’t keep a sob at bay. He’s so _tiny._ His little life has barely begun, and here she sits already crying.

 

“He’s amazing.” Sara whimpers. “Alex is gonna fall in love, I can already see it. Then again, how could she not? Look at this handsome boy, he’s an absolute angel.”

 

Sara isn’t sure why she’s letting her emotions get the best of her in front of someone who is relatively a stranger, but she can’t help it. She doesn’t have Alex to enjoy this moment with her, it’s just her and this new beautiful baby boy. And he really is beautiful, from the wisp of dark hair he has to the gentle curl of his tiny toes. Sara smiles as she notices that he has Alex’s nose, and her lips; her son is going to be a heartbreaker, and she already knows it. A small laugh leaves her at the thought, she can almost hear Alex scolding her for making that kind of comment.

 

“You’re early, you little monster. Your mom and I aren’t white ready for you.” Sara chuckles as she tilts her head. “You’re supposed to be kicking your mom’s bladder. But...I’m glad you’re here. I’m really, really glad.”

 

-

 

The time slips by so slowly as Sara sits with her newborn son; she passes the time by talking to him in a soft voice and telling him all about the life he’s going to have. As she talks, she barely takes notice to Dr. Grayson as she walks back over with her hands tucked in her lab coat and tired smile on her face. With a nervous frown, Sara reluctantly pulls her hand away from her son as she stands to smooth her hands down the front of her shirt. She hopes and prays it’s news about her wife, she doesn’t think she can bare another moment not knowing what was happening to her.

 

“Alex?”

 

“She’s doing well, still sleeping. She’s having blood transfusions, but that’s just a precaution from the surgery.” Dr. Grayson assures her. “She’s allowed visitors if you want to follow me.”

 

Sara nods immediately and glances back at her son for a moment as she bites her lip, “Just give me a second, okay?”

 

“I’ll be just outside.”

 

“Your mom is awake, bud.” Sara smiles as she looks down into the incubator. “She’s going to be okay. She’s a little sleepy, but she’s going to be up and holding you soon.”

 

Sara grins as she stares down into the incubator and runs her finger over the hard plastic. She loves him so much already, and he’s all hers to adore. The life she has built leaves her breathless every time she thinks of it, and this baby has completely stolen every ounce of air from her. He has her wrapped around his finger, just like his sister. Sara chuckles quietly as she plays with the material of her gown and tracks the slow movements of each breath her son takes.

 

“I wish I could stay, but your mom needs me right now and I have to be with her.” Sara frowns. “I want to be with both of you, but right now she needs me more. I’ll be back soon, okay?”

 

Sara rests her lips against the plastic and taps it once before she turns on her heel and hastily removes the gown she is wrapped in. She trails Dr. Grayson through the halls and thinks of nothing but her wife, and then suddenly she’s in a room staring at the woman who owns every piece of her soul. Sara breathes out a shudder of a breath as she crosses the room to collapse in a chair as she gathers Alex’s hand in her own and presses a kiss to each knuckle. Wires curl delicately around Alex’s chest and torso, all of them measure her vital signs and provide Sara with visual evidence that her wife is going to be okay; they’re going to make it.  


“Hey, beautiful.” Sara mumbles as she presses another kiss to Alex’s knuckles. “You did good today, babe. We have a beautiful baby boy, he’s in the NICU but that’s okay because he’s getting all the help he needs. Just like you. And you’re going to be awake soon...I think.”

 

“She will.” Eliza nods as she approaches them and presses a kiss to Sara’s head. “She did amazing, I kept a close eye on her from the gallery. The surgeons were fantastic.”

 

Sara nods, “Is she in pain?”

 

“Not right now. She won’t feel anything for awhile, she’s on some pretty strong stuff.” Eliza replies with a small smile. “So, did you see the baby? How is he doing?”

 

“He’s okay. He’s just...tiny. Kind of like Silver was when she came along.” Sara sighs as she looks at her mother-in-law. “He’s going to have Alex’s eyes, I bet. And I think his hair will lighten a little bit so it’s brown like Alex’s.”

 

Eliza smiles brightly, “So, you’re saying that my grandson is going to be perfect then?”

 

“Absolutely.” Sara scoffs, and she stops short as she feels the fingers in her hand flex. “Baby? Hey, are you with me?”

 

Much to her surprise, Alex rolls her head slightly in the direction of her voice as her eyes struggle to open. It’s like the sun rises, the clouds part and all Sara can feel is warmth as she is met with those beautiful hazel eyes. Alex attempts a smile before it’s knocked away by a cough that has her hand moving to touch against her throat. Sara blinks away her tears as she squeezes Alex’s hand to gain her attention, to have her focus on something other than her breathing rude, and her wife immediately looks to her with sleepy eyes; and beneath the drugged fueled exhaustion, Sara can already see questions forming.

 

“Hi, gorgeous.” Sara hums as she uses her free hand to wipe away her tears. “You scared the hell out of me back there, Danvers. Where do you get off doing something like that?”

 

“B-Baby…?”

 

“Hey, shh. Don’t talk.” Sara orders, and she sees Alex narrow her eyes in protest. “He’s okay. He’s in the NICU, but he’s going to be okay. He made it, you both did.”

 

Alex hums as her eyes flutter, “Stay?”

 

“I’m not going anywhere.” Sara whispers.

 

-

 

“This is an inconvenience.” Alex huffs as she presses a hand to the healing mark that cuts across her stomach. “Never allow them to cut me open again, alright? It sucks.”

 

Sara smiles as she leans forward to capture Alex’s pout in a lingering kiss, “They didn’t have a choice, babe. The kid was ready to come out.”

 

It’s been five long and stressful days since the baby has been born, and Alex still hasn’t been able to see him. Between her own recovery and the constant watch they have on Baby Boy Lance, she’s been kept away. Sara has seen Alex through every moment of this; the heartbreak, the desperation, the cries, and the anger. She knows Alex wants to be with their son, but she also knows that they both need time to heal before an introduction will even be possible.

 

“Baby report!” Kara exclaims as she breezes into the room with her iPhone. “He’s moving his arms now and he’s finally opened his eyes, they’re brown. He’s also finally out of the incubator and on a cot.”

 

Alex feels her lips quiver as she stares at her son in the short video, “It’s been five days, he’s getting so big. He’s able to see, but he hasn’t seen _me_. I’m his mother.”

 

“You’ll see him soon, babe. Dr. Grayson just wants to make sure your infections are completely gone and you’re mobile.” Sara reminds her. “It won’t be long, probably another day or so.”

 

“He’s my _son._ I want to see him, Sara.” Alex pleads. “I-I need to see him, he needs me. I just want to see my baby.”

 

“I…”

 

“Sara, I could miss his entire life if I just sit here. He’s getting so big, he’s healing and I’m stuck here watching it through videos.” Alex scoffs as she tosses her blanket off. “I’m going to see my son, I’m done waiting.”

 

Sara opens her mouth to protest only to be interrupted as the door opens with a creak and a small cot is wheeled into the room. Alex feels her heart soar as everyone of her prayers are answered, and she looks up with tears in her eyes as Sara makes a movement to look down at their son. Her heart patters in her chest as she watches her wife reach into the cot and remove the infant, and all she can see is tiny fists and little toes that poke free from the swaddle of blue. Alex can already tell he’s perfect, and suddenly all she went through doesn’t matter. Suddenly, waiting so long for him seems well worth it. Sara finally approaches and squats slightly to allow Alex to take a look at their son, and her face immediately crumples as she sees dark eyes.

 

“Oh God. He’s here. He’s _okay_.” Alex breathes out before a harsh sob slips through. “I can’t believe he’s okay, that he’s here.”

 

“He’s all ours.” Sara whispers.

 

Dr. Grayson clears her throat to catch both women’s attention, “I thought I’d give you a little surprise, you’ve both been excellent patients and you’re both healing up nicely.”

 

Alex looks at her with damp cheeks, “Thank you.”

 

“He’s a little smaller than I would’ve liked, but he’s healthy.” Sara smiles as she catches Alex’s attention once more. “He’s absolutely breathtaking, just like his mommy.”

 

“Is he...is he okay?” Alex demands. “Dr. Grayson?”

 

“He’s getting there.” Dr. Grayson nods her with a small, barely there smile. “It was touch and go for the first day and a half, but he started responding well to his medication and after that it’s all been uphill since.”

 

“Are you ready to hold him?” Sara smirks.

 

Alex swallows hard as she lifts her arms till she feels the warm bundle that rests against her forearms. Like second nature, Alex shifts her son in her arms and pulls in a sharp breath of disbelief. He’s absolutely perfect. Sara bites her lip in awe as she perches herself on the edge of the hospital bed and watches her wife. Kara can’t help but snap a few sneaky pictures, she knows her sister is going to want to look back on this; look back on the moment when she held her son for the first time with her wife watching on.

 

“Hi, you. You really are perfect, aren’t you? And you look so much better than I imagined. I love that, sweetheart.” Alex grins as she rubs a finger over his button nose. “I guess I should introduce myself. I’m your mommy.”

 

“And I’m your mama.” Sara beams.

 

Alex beams as she looks from her son to her smiling wife, “Look at him, Sara. I haven’t seen perfection like this since we welcomed our little bullet into the world.”

 

“Are you two ready to give up a name?” Dr. Grayson smirks. “We need to put something down for the little guy.”

 

“Quinton. Quinton Jonathan Lance.” Alex replies as she listens to Sara’s soft whimper. “How does that sound? Hm? Welcome to the world, Quinton Jonathan Lance.”

 

-

 

“Is he ugly?”

 

Kara arches an eyebrow, “I don’t think so.”

 

“Does he have wings?”

 

“Unfortunately not.” Kara sighs.

 

“Does he have a tail?”

 

Kara smiles as she turns to set a plate full of scrambled eggs and toast down, “No tail and no wings. I’m sorry, little one, but your brother is just a normal little boy.”

 

“Well, that’s no fun.” Silver huffs as she rests her chin in her hand. “When can I see mommy? I haven’t seen her in three sleeps.”

 

“I know, Silver,” Kara frowns as she fills a cup of orange juice for Silver. “You just have to eat breakfast and get dressed and then we’ll head out to see your moms and your brother.”

 

Silver sighs, “Okay.”

 

“Are you excited to meet him?” Kara asks as she sets the cup down in front of the little girl. “You just have to remember to be careful with him, he’s still very little.”

 

Silver nods as she chews loudly, “I know. Mama says he’s going to be really small and fra...I’m, what’s that word again?”

 

“Fragile?”

 

“Uh huh. That one.” Silver chirps as she shifts to her knees on her chair. “Mommy says that I have to remember that he can’t do anything but lay there and stare up at me. I can’t really play with him until he learns how to walk and talk.”

 

“Well, you can play peek-a-boo with him when he gets a little bigger.” Kara smiles as she takes a sip of her coffee. “When you were a baby, that used to be your favorite game.”

 

Silver is quiet for a long moment, “Auntie Kara?”

 

“Yes, little one?”

 

“Are you still gonna play with me even though my little brother is here?” Silver asks in a soft tone as she stares down at her food. “Hadley says no one pays attention to her because her little sister is a baby.”

 

Kara sets her mug down and ducks her head to catch Silver’s gaze, “Hey, of course I’m going to play with you. I’ll stay take you to the park, and we’ll still sneak off to get ice cream. And you’ll definitely always be my plus one to Auntie Lena’s boring dinner parties.”

 

“Promise?” Silver whispers.

 

Kara offers her pinky, “I promise.”

 

“Okay.” Silver nods as she wraps her pinky around Kara’s. “Only because you pinky promise and you can’t break a pinky promise.”

 

“Silver, don’t worry so much. No one will ever replace you in my life, in _all_ of our lives. You know you’re my favorite.” Kara grins. “No matter what, you’ll _always_ be my favorite.”

 

Silver preens with a flush, “I love you extra.”

 

“I love you, too.” Kara chuckles. “Now, finish your breakfast so we can go see your little brother and your moms.”

 

Silver is a bundle of nerves by the time they get to the hospital, and her attention is glued to the rainbow balloon she picked out special for the baby. Kara smiles adoringly at the little girl as she catches her hand and they begin their slow descent into the hospital and towards the room where her little brother is waiting. As the elevator crawls up each floor, Silver bounces from one foot to the other until they part with a squeak and she pours out. As soon as she reaches the correct room, the excitement seemingly leaves her as she glances back with a frown while Kara calmly walks towards her.

 

“Knock, knock.” Kara calls as she raps her knuckles against the door and peeks her head inside with a smile. “I have a very anxious big sister waiting to meet the newest Lance.”

 

“Come in! We’ve been waiting.” Sara chuckles, and her heart aches as her daughter inches in with wide eyes and a balloon in her fist. “Hey, bullet! We’ve been waiting for you!”

 

“Hey, baby. What do you have there?” Alex asks as she shifts her son in her arms while Silver shuffles closer to them. “That is a very special balloon, sweetheart. Who is that for?”

 

Silver offers it nervously, “The baby.”

 

“It’s amazing, bullet. I’m sure the baby absolutely loves it.” Sara chuckles as she steps forward to scoop her daughter into her arms. “I’ve missed you so much, bullet.”

 

Silver tucks her face into Sara’s shoulder, “Missed you more.”

 

“Well, how about you meet your baby brother? I think he’s excited to meet you.” Sara hums as she pulls Silver back to smile at her.

 

Kara carefully takes the balloon from Silver and focuses on tying it to a random chair in order to give the family a moment together. Silver is hesitant as Sara sits her on the edge of the bed and allows her to crawl up towards Alex. With wide eyes, Silver reaches out to gently push the blanket back from the infant’s face until she is met with a twisted expression. Sara laughs softly as Silver scrunches her nose when a tiny hand extends towards her, fingers closing slowly as her little brother shifts in his bundle of blankets.

 

“This is your baby brother, bullet.” Alex whispers, and she watches as Silver looks from the baby to Sara with wide eyes. “His name is Quinton Jonathan Lance.”

 

“Cool.” Silver breathes out, the awe clear in her expression as she looks up at Sara. “Mama, can I touch him or will it hurt?”

 

“No, bullet, it won’t hurt. You just have to be really careful, okay?” Sara assures her as she watches her daughter reach out with a hesitant hand to brush her fingers over tufts of hair. “See. Didn’t hurt him at all.”

 

The touch of her fingers seem to capture Quinton’s attention and his lips purse before his eyes pull themselves open. As the infant squints for a moment, Silver lights up when she is finally met with brown eyes that look just as warm as Sara’s. And suddenly, Silver can’t seem to look away. She feels a strong sense of protection roll off her as she tucks her finger into Quinton’s hand and smiles down at him. This is _her_ little brother, and she has to do right by him; she gets to spend the rest of their lives making sure that he’s safe and happy, and she knows she’ll do a good job.

 

“He looks like mama!” Silver chirps as she lifts her head to meet Alex’s gaze. “Mommy, do you feel better cause he’s out of your tummy?”  


“I do, bullet. I’m just happy that I have all three of my favorite people right here with me.” Alex grins as she rocks forward to kiss her head. “You three mean the world to me.”

 

“Hey!” Kara huffs. “What about me?”

 

“Oh, how could I ever forget you? And your _very_ crazy aunt.” Alex chuckles, and Kara spits her tongue out in kind. “Thank you for taking care of her these last few days, I’m going to guess she had a good time.”

  
“And how do you know that?” Kara smirks.

  
“Because I can’t name a time that she _hasn’t_ had a good time with you, Kara.” Alex scoffs as she glances down to watch her son squirm and grunt in irritation. “I think somebody is getting a little antsy, and cranky.”

 

“Can I hold him?” Silver beams.

 

“Of course, bullet.” Sara chuckles. “Just scoot up next to your mom, you have to make sure that his head doesn’t fall.”

 

Silver shifts until Alex is comfortable enough to rest the small bundle in her arms, “Is this right, Mommy?”

 

“Perfect, bullet.”

 

Silver grins happily as she watches her little brother’s eyes flutter sleepily, “He has pretty eyes, they look like chocolate.”

 

“He does.” Sara hums with an amused smirk.

 

“I’m gonna be a good big sister.” Silver chirps as she presses a gentle kiss to Quinton’s soft forehead. “I love you. I’m gonna take such good care of you, I’m gonna be the bestest big sister in the whole wild world. Pinky swear. And you can’t break a pinky swear.”

 

The moment is so pure that Alex has to catch a tear while Sara simply blinks hers away. The sight before them is beautiful, and they want nothing more than to bask in it forever. Quinton is here, he’s safe, and in the arms of his strongest protector. Sara sees the way Silver whispers to him, catches the spark in her eye as she tells him all about the world he’s been brought into. She doesn’t have the heart to separate them, she could spend forever watching this moment. But time stops for nobody, and soon they’re interrupted by a strong knock before the faces of Felicity and Iris appear in their sight.  


“Are we late for the party?” Felicity sings as the two women pour eagerly into the room and move towards the bed. “Oh, he’s _beautiful_.”

 

“That’s because he looks like his mommy. Pure perfection.” Sara winks, and her attention falls to her daughter who is silent. “Bullet, can you tell your aunts hello?”  


Silver barely lifts her head, “Oh. Hi.”

 

“Oh hi? I think that’s the softest greeting I’ve ever gotten from her.” Iris teases, and her arms extend as she eagerly reaches out. “Is it time for Auntie Iris to have a turn?”

 

Silver hesitates, “No.”

 

“Silver…” Alex begins, the warning clear in her tone.

 

“You have to wash your hands first.” Silver orders as she finally lifts her head. “There can’t be any germs around Quinnie.”

 

“I sanitized before I came and didn’t touch any doors or elevator buttons.” Felicity chirps as she flashes Iris a smug grin “Do you mind if I hold him, Silver?”

 

“Okay.” Silver sighs, and her eyes are wide as Felicity crouches to accept the warm bundle into her arms. “Make sure you support his head, and don’t drop him.”

 

“You’re such a good big sister, Silver.” Iris coos as she finishes wiping her hands and moves to hang over Felicity’s shoulder. “He is a gorgeous little thing, makes me miss when Nora was that small. She’s all time outs and sandboxes now.”

 

Felicity sways with Quinton for a moment more before Iris finally gets a hold of him and gushes over his beauty. Eventually, Kara is handed her nephew and she looks down at him with pure adoration in her gaze. By the time Felicity has him back, Silver is squirming on the bed as she notices the way her little brother begins to fuss as his fists reach up. She tries to keep quiet, tries to bite her tongue as she puffs her cheeks out and keeps a close eye on the clock; it isn’t till Quinton releases a crack of a cry that she whines and looks pleadingly up at Sara.

 

“Give him back to mama.” Silver orders.

 

Kara blinks slowly as she hands Quinton back to Sara who frowns down at her daughter, “Hey, it’s okay. He’s just tired, bullet. I promise you that he’s perfectly alright.”

 

“He sounded upset.” Silver snaps as she pouts her lower lip. “Mommy, he needs a nap and he can’t nap with everyone here.”

 

“Bullet, that’s enough.” Alex replies in a calm tone, and the child huffs and rolls her eyes. “You know better than to act like this, you’re not being nice. Apologize, Silver. _Now_.”

 

“But…” Silver protests for only a moment. “I’m sorry.”

 

“It’s okay, honey. You’re right, we should probably get going.” Felicity nods as she makes her way over to brush a kiss over her head. “You have a beautiful little brother. And you two have created another bout of perfection.”

 

“Thanks, Felicity. Give Ollie a kiss for me.” Sara smiles as she hugs the woman. “Hey, and bring Nora around, I’m sure Silver would love to have a playdate with her soon.”

  
Iris gives them a wave as they leave, “Bye!”

 

“Well, Lena is texting. She’s home, she brought pizza and potstickers.” Kara chirps as she looks away from her phone. “Silver, you ready to head out and eat?”

 

Silver hesitates, “I think I should stay here with mommy and Quinnie. My brother, my responsibility.”

 

Sara arches an eyebrow as she carefully hands a slumbering baby back to her wife, “That’s a lot to take on, bullet. Who told you that?”

 

“Auntie Kara said so.” Silver shrugs. “She says that mommy took care of her, and I have to do the same for Quinnie because he needs me. He’s my responsibility.”

 

Sara reaches out to scoop Silver up, “Baby, we appreciate that but you can’t be responsible for him if you’re sleepy and hungry.”

 

“But I wanna stay here.” Silver whimpers as she reaches up to rub at the tears in her eyes. “I wanna stay with mommy and Quinnie.”

 

“Bullet, mommy and I are bringing Quinton home _super_ soon. After that, you can spend every second you please with him.” Sara assures her as Silver tucks her face into the crook of her mother’s neck and sniffles lightly.

 

“Can I stay a little longer?”

 

“Not today, bullet.” Alex frowns as she glances down at Quinton. “Your brother actually needs to take a nap right now. So, how about you go home and have dinner with Kara and Lena while your mama and I put him down?”

 

“Okay.” Silver sighs as she allows Sara to crouch down so she can kiss both Alex and Quinton. “Bye, bubba. I’ll see you later, I promise.”

 

“You have an extra slice of pizza for me, okay? Actually, have two.” Sara smiles as she hands a disappointed Silver off to Kara. “We love you, bullet. We’ll see you soon.”

 

“Bye.” Kara calls as she leaves the room.

 

“Well, that went well.” Alex whispers as she shifts Quinton in a more comfortable hold. “She’s so good with him, I’m so proud.”

 

“Yeah, I knew she was going to be a good big sister. Now, hand over our boy.” Sara orders, and Alex pouts as Sara takes him to his cot. “Sleep tight, baby boy.”

 

Sara presses her fingers to her lips before she smooths them against Quinton’s cheek and the baby fusses in his sleep before he settles once again. After a moment more of staring, Sara backs away with a yawn as she crosses the room to crawl into the hospital bed. The last few days seem to wash over her as her eyes grow heavy, and she feels Alex settle into her. Everything is so quiet, and she knows they only have so long before it’s disturbed. With a hum, Sara turns her head to press a soft kiss to Alex’s forehead as she breathes her in.

 

“I love you. Thank you for giving me a family I didn’t even know I could have.” Sara whispers against Alex’s forehead. “I will never be able to express my gratitude.”

 

Alex blinks tiredly, “Thank you for making all my dreams come true, and thank you for staying. I can’t wait to start a whole new journey with you. Only up from here.”

 

Sara chuckles, “Indeed.”

 

**Eleven Years Later**

 

“It’s _mine_!”

 

“It doesn’t have your name on it!”

 

“It’s my bagel, let it go!”

 

“No. Mom!”

 

“Mama!”

 

Sara sighs as she looks down at the woman who is resting on her chest, “Those two are going to fight to the death over a bagel, I can already see the plastic stars embedded in our wall.”

 

“Mm, no. I don’t wanna get up yet.” Alex whines as she burrows into Sara’s side. “Just pretend like we can’t hear them.”

 

“Do you really want an event like last time? Your son gave our daughter a black eye.” Sara reminds her with a small frown.

 

Alex peeks an eye open, “ _My_ son?”

 

“Yeah, you’re the one who taught him how to throw a right hook.” Sara scoffs as she brushes a kiss over the top of Alex’s head. “So, he’s your son when it concerns that.”

 

“Then he was definitely yours when he decided it’d be fun to swing a staff around and shattered three picture frames and a vase.” Alex sneers. “So, good job on that one.”

 

“He’s good with a staff.” Sara shrugs.

 

“And he’s good with a punch.” Alex smirks. “And our baby bullet is good with throwing stars and breaking into cars.”

 

Sara groans at her words, “I knew I shouldn’t have taught her how to hotwire a car. Stupid me for thinking she’d use it in an emergency.”

 

“Well, at least she had fun.” Alex chuckles.

 

“Mom!” Quinton tells as he pounds a fist against their bedroom door. “Tell Silver that the last blueberry bagel is mine.”

 

“No, mama said _I_ could have it since I’m spending the day with Aunt Lena. She says I need to keep my strength up.” Silver argues. “All you’re going to do is play video games all day.”

 

Quinton hesitates, “So?”

 

“Alright. I’m going to go settle this argument. I’ll have coffee going by the time you decide to join us out there.” Sara sighs as she presses another kiss to Alex’s head and slides from the bed. “Don’t leave me out there too long.”

 

Alex whines as she rolls into Sara’s abandoned pillow, “Fine.”

 

The sound of the kids arguing grows as the bedroom door opens, and she can hear Sara immediately silencing them before the sound begins to slowly quiet. Alex lays in bed and basks in the morning of silence; she has a few hours to kill before she’s expected at the DEO, and she intends to spend that with her family. With a huff, Alex sits up in bed and rubs at her tired eyes as she wills herself to leave the warm cocoon her and Sara created out of their sheets. After a few stretches, she finally relents and crawls from the bed to putter out of her bed and down the cold stairs. She follows the sound of loud voices and pauses in the door to watch the happenings that stand before her.

 

Silver, messy haired and sharp tongued, stands possessively over the toaster as she glares at her little brother. Across the room, her son huffs as he drinks orange juice straight from the carton and childishly sticks his tongue out at her. Alex shakes her head as she crosses the room to steal the warm mug from Sara’s hand before she soothes her exhaustion with the familiar taste of caffeine. Just like that, her mind wakes up and she presses back against the counter to watch her children silently duke it out over the bagel.

 

“I know my babies aren’t arguing about food.” Alex hums, and both turn sheepish. “Why don’t you each have half of the bagel?”

 

Silver pauses to consider, “That’s a good idea.”

 

“Oh, so it’s a good idea when mom suggests it but it sucks when _I_ suggest it?” Sara pouts. “I see who your favorite parent is, bullet.”

 

“You’re both my favorite.” Quinton chirps.

 

“Suck up.” Silver sneers.

 

Quinton shrugs, “Nope. Just a better kid.”

 

“Ugh. You’re the worst.” Silver grumbles as she grabs half of the bagel from the toaster. “The other half is yours, Quinnie.”

 

“Don’t call me that.” Quinton whines as he trudges towards the toaster. “It makes me sound like I’m a girl, Silver.”

 

“Just call it like I see it.” Silver sings as she ices butter over her bagel. “Mama, are you taking me to Aunt Lena’s lab?”

 

“I am.” Sara nods. “So, finish up so we can get this show on the road. I have to be at the DEO before one for a briefing.”

 

Quinton brightens as he looks up with his cheeks stuffed full of food, “Is Uncle Winn gonna be at the DEO today.”

 

“Probably.” Sara shrugs.

 

“I wanna go too!” Quinton exclaims.

 

Silver rolls her eyes, “I call front seat.”

 

“First one to the car gets the front seat!” Quinton yells as he races towards the door. “Loser has dish duty tonight!”

 

Silver struggles to juggle her bagel and travel mug as she rushes after him, “That’s not fair, Quinn! You got a head start!”

 

Alex shakes her head as looks to her wife, “Good luck with those two today, they’re in rare form. Especially Quinn.”

 

“They shouldn’t be too bad. I’m just gonna drop Silver off with Lena and I guess QJ is coming with us to the DEO today.” Sara shrugs. “Hopefully they’ll calm down.”

 

“Hey, just remember who wanted another one so badly.” Alex teases as she pulls Sara to her. “You gonna be okay?”

 

Sara smiles, “Of course.”

 

“And to think we have years more of this.” Alex chuckles as she shakes her head. “You think you’re gonna survive it?”

 

 **“** With you by my side?” Sara smirks as she leans forward to press a soft kiss to Alex’s lips. “I can handle anything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: And that, ladies and gentlemen, is all she wrote. I’m so sorry it took me so long to finish this, I hope the wait was worth it.


End file.
